Semi-Together

Feeling stressed, exhausted, and anxious as the coronavirus pandemic wears on? Saaaaaame. We’re in a period of collective trauma and global uncertainty, and it’s natural that we are less productive and not our best selves right now. It’s important to acknowledge that suffering, and the grief about what we can't do right now – AND focus on what we can still do, finding meaningful moments to carry u...

The Golden Rule – Treat others how you’d like to be treated – is easy to understand. It’s actually the Reverse Golden Rule that is much more challenging to live by: Treat yourself how you’d like others to be treated. Melia and Gill discuss why science says it’s so important to be kind to yourself and share five  researched-backed strategies for embracing the Reverse Golden Rule in your everyd...

Melia and Gill talk about a quote from Amy Poehler’s wonderful memoir, Yes, Please that has helped them be less judgmental of others: “Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.” They share examples of where “Good for her, not for me” has been most helpful – including in relation to parenting, body image and appear...

Melia and Gill discuss the Buddhist parable of the second arrow – the additional pain we cause ourselves when unwelcome things happen – and how to dodge it. This idea can be summed up by an old Buddhist saying made popular by writer Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” We feel the first arrow when we experience something painful, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that pain....

Melia and Gill talk to April Snow, a licensed psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She works with highly sensitive introverts, perfectionists, and high achievers to overcome anxiety, embrace their strengths, and create a life on their own terms. April talks about why sensitivity is a strength – not a weakness, as we’re often told! – that we can channel to make a positive difference...

In the first new episode after their season break, Melia and Gill revisit the 20 for 2020 goals they set in January. The past few months have been exceptionally tough: the global pandemic and its repercussions, the long-overdue reckoning with racial injustice, and the mental load and uncertainty about the future that comes with all of it. Melia and Gill discuss how their goals have changed since t...

Melia and Gill share how they’re taking careful steps toward a new normal during COVID-19. They discuss the mental and physical health benefits of music and share ways to use music as therapy. Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether Subscribe to our biweekly e-newsletter for episode roundups, tip...

Melia and Gill talk with Liz Fosslien, the co-author and illustrator of the Wall Street Journal best-selling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work , with Mollie West Duffy. Liz offers research-backed advice on how to express our emotions effectively at work. It’s always been tricky to find the right balance – sharing just enough without over sharing. Now that m...

Melia and Gill recorded this minisode during the COVID-19 quarantine. They check in on how they're doing with it all and discuss the question, “What from this time are you looking to carry forward?” They like the phrasing of the question, because although none of us knows what exactly the “after this” will look like, we can set our intentions about the lessons and practices we’ll carry forward wit...

Melia and Gill talk to Dr. Megan Clapton, a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Mindful Therapy, about mindfulness, resilience, and coping techniques to get us through difficult times. Megan talks about what mindfulness is and how practicing it in small ways can help us through moments of stress and anxiety. She also shares strategies and lessons learned from a tough personal experi...

Melia and Gill talk to Heather Andersen Shellen, a longtime friend from California, about creating a custom blend of identities, what “real work” and “paid work” mean to her, and how she is trying to move toward a better world through creativity and intentional action. As a stay-at-home parent, she shares her advice for staying sane during the coronavirus quarantine. Heather is a writer, musician,...

Melia and Gill interview Claire Sturzaker, one of the first friends Gill met when she moved to Barcelona. Claire is a world traveler and creator of the blog Tales of a Backpacker. Claire shares how what seemed like a major setback in her life – getting fired – was actually an opportunity for change, and helped her deal with other obstacles in the future. They recorded this interview on March 12, a...

Our busy schedules can drain our energy and leave us feeling tired, cranky, and stressed. If we don’t make time for the activities that rejuvenate us, we start heading toward burnout – and that doesn’t serve us or others around us. Think of yourself like a video game character encountering experiences that power you up or down. Melia and Gill share a few things that deplete and recharge them, as w...

Whether you naturally lean toward optimism or pessimism, you can train your brain to zoom in on the good and expect more of it in life. In this episode, Melia and Gill continue the conversation they started in Ep. 15, Choosing Optimism, with research-backed practices for building an optimistic mindset. Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogeth...

What do you do when you hit ‘The Dip’ – that drop in motivation you experience once the excitement wears off a new undertaking? Marketer Seth Godin describes The Dip as “the long slog between starting and mastery." It’s when the honeymoon period ends, and you wonder if it’s worth continuing to put in effort. Now is a good time to talk about The Dip, when the burst of New Year’s energy is starting...

Melia and Gill discuss the question: What blend of novelty and familiarity brings you the most joy? During the holiday break, when spending time in familiar settings or hosting people who’ve visited before, it’s common to think about how many experiences to repeat and how many new things to try. Each of us is looking for a balance that works for us. Novel experiences are fun and can do us a lot of...

Happy New Year! Melia and Gill are excited to reveal their 20 for 2020 lists of goals. Since 2018, they have been doing this alternative to New Year's resolutions, inspired by the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. 20 for 2020 can be a mix of one-time tasks, big milestones, or ongoing goals, or a themed list. Melia and Gill share their goals and the reason behind each one, plus five tips to help...

Melia and Gill interview Wendy Shenefelt, an educator and nonprofit programs director, about the seven principles of Kwanzaa and the practice of self-reflection. Kwanzaa is an annual celebration of family, community, and culture that takes place from December 26 - January 1. It’s an African-American and pan-African holiday, and people from all backgrounds are welcomed to join in the celebration. W...

The end of 2019 is a couple of weeks away, and next year we start a new decade! Melia and Gill look back on how they’ve done on their 19 for 2019 goals and what they’ll still be working on in 2020. Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semitogether Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether Subscribe to our biweekly e-newsletter for episode roundups...

In our last episode, we did a deep dive into why perfectionism is harmful and how we can manage it with self-compassion. But we knew we couldn’t cover the entire topic perfectly in one episode. So we have a follow-up segment on self-compassion before getting into our main topic, practicing gratitude – which is an evidence-based tool for healing perfectionism and boosting happiness. Gratitude helps...

In our culture, we often talk about perfectionism like it’s a positive character trait. The classic example is answering the dreaded job interview question, “What’s your biggest weakness?” with “I’m a perfectionist,” as a way to show how hardworking and attentive you are. But perfectionism is actually self-defeating and harmful – and its antidote is self-compassion. Melia and Gill share research o...

Shame is something we all experience (except sociopaths!), but no one wants to talk about. Melia and Gill give a brief overview of Brené Brown's research on shame – including why it's harmful, how it affects women and men, and how to overcome it. They share how shame shows up in their own lives (hint: The Shame File is an actual document Melia keeps) and steps we can all take to identify our shame...

Our busy schedules at work and home can deplete our energy, leaving us feeling scattered and worn out. When we don’t replenish the fuel in our tank, we find ourselves running on empty and heading toward burnout. We know it’s not always easy to make time for activities that make you feel happy, fulfilled, or energized. But just a few minutes a day, every day, will help renew your energy and sustain...

When you work toward a goal, you can get so focused that you lose sight of why you're doing it or more effective ways of accomplishing it. In this minisode, Melia and Gill talk about how to Change the Plan (this is a meta topic because they changed their own plan for the podcast this week!). It helps to Practice the Pause, their tip from the previous minisode, and think, “What if we did this anoth...

We often react to the things that happen automatically, with anxiety, stress, or anger. In this minisode, Melia and Gill talk about Practicing The Pause, putting a bit of space between what happens and how you react to it. Opening up that space helps you tap into your wiser self and choosing how you respond. Find us on the web: https://www.semitogether.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/semi...