Myopia Movies

Hey everybody, welcome back to Myopia Movies. This week we’re tackling an action-silly Nicolas Cage classic: Con Air. And honestly—if you’ve never seen it before, I almost want to tell you to stop and watch it first… but our discussion is good enough that you’ll survive either way. Fair warning: this episode got chaotic. So chaotic, in fact, that our newly married editor and panelist, Nur Chernnet...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a valuable cinematic lesson: you can be absolutely slovenly and still be the hero of a movie. We watched Mitchell . Yes, that Joe Don Baker vehicle, where our rumpled, sweat-soaked protagonist somehow gets the girl… and then has her arrested for prostitution. Chivalry is dead, folks. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and r...

This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the New Year with a movie set in that very year, I am about as optimistic about this year as the title of the film. We watched Doom, a terrifying portent of things to come.  How will DOOM hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak Starring: Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, DeObia Oparei, Ben Daniels Want to pick a movie...

Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern... How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Jeremy Directed by John R. Cherry III Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Se...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have in...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah! How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up? Directed by Seth Kearsley Starring: Adam Sandler, Ro...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a millennial Christmas Classic, Jingle All The Way! Bathe in the 1990s nostalgia as we visit trampling people for toys, malls, and toy stores. Also, Phil Hartman's masterclass on seducing a woman away from Arnold.  How will Jingle All The Way hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Candice, Matthew, and Jeremy   Directed by Brian Levant Starring Arnold Schwarzene...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn how the world became entranced with Henry Cavill and started to fall out with Zack Snyder. We watched Man of Steel home to the world's most vindictive Pa Kent and the one where Superman kills thousands in his final fight. Happy Thanksgiving from us at Myopia and safe shopping and travels today! How will Man of Steel hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur...

First, take a beloved musical from the 1930s and let it age on a shelf for forty-plus years. Second, strip out all the songs. Third, turn it into a waking nightmare. This week on Myopia Movies, we dove into Return to Oz! Isn’t it delightful when Creepy Kids Month syncs perfectly with a blockbuster release like Wicked: For Good? Though honestly…this movie might be memorable for entirely different r...

"Like no one has ever been, like, aroused by close up magic, right? You're just like, ah, wow. That was my card. My God, where did that ball go? Who knows? Can I just pay for my, like, mozzarella sticks" - Nic This week, Myopia Movies continue Creepy Kid Movie Month with The Ring — the iconic, blue-green, early-2000s mood piece that taught us two essential truths: never trust a VHS tape without a...

This week we learn who is creepier, Macaulay Culkin who murdered one and a half siblings or Elijah Wood who is convinced that his mom is reincarnated into his aunt. We watched The Good Son. Ok, so the corpse highway car accident might be the greatest thing put to film and my favorite sentence I have gotten to write.  How will the Good Son hold up? Directed by Joseph Ruben Starring: Macaulay Culkin...

This week on Myopia Movies, we seamlessly transition from Horror into our next month based around creepy kids. We watched The Omen (1976), the movie that forever made the name Damien creepy.  How will The Omen (1976) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matthew, Nur Directed by Richard Donner Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton, Martin B...

What happens when you do reshoots on 9/11, cast a character so embarrassed by her role she’s mistaken for a porn star, and give Tony Shalhoub a dramatic lead after turning a comedy into a thriller? You get this beautiful mess. This week on Myopia Movies, we watched Thir13en Ghosts (2001) — because apparently, hiring Matthew Lillard to fight ghosts without Scooby-Doo was the real horror. How will T...

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to King Country and deal with rabies, domestic violence, and the used car market. We watched Cujo (1983), a reminder to why you never sleep with the handyman.  How will Cujo (1983) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur   Directed by Lewis Teague Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter

The is week on Myopia Movies, we went to the Jason Voorhees-esque horror movie that started it all, we watched The Terminator. Are you Sarah Connor?  How will The Terminator hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matt, Keiko.  Directed by James Cameron Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Rick Rossovich, Earl Boen, Dick Miller, Bill Paxton, Brian...

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate Atlanta Pride with The Birdcage! Welcome back to the show to the hairiest man that Hollywood could contain, with an added mustache! Who was the better man in drag, Nathan Lane or Robin Williams?  How does The Birdcage hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Panel: Charlie, Nur, Alex

This week on Myopia Movies, we couldn't wait any longer so we are starting our Horror Month a week early...and it may even stay on a bit longer! We watched Freddy vs Jason, to borrow a slogan from the Alien vs Predator movies as a review, "who ever wins, we, the audience, loses." How will Freddy vs Jason hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur Directed by Ronny Yu Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzin...

The week on Myopia Movies, we fight the IRA. Represented by and speaking in Celtic by Tommy Lee Jones. We watched Blown Away! Who can stop them? Only Jeff Bridges (the Dude) and the President (his dad Lloyd Bridges). You may be asking yourself, who explodes? So many people! How will Blown Away hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko   Directed by Stephen Hopkin Starring: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jone...

This week on Myopia Movies we study abroad! By that I mean we eat weird food, learn another language, and begrudgingly befriend our host family. We watched Enemy Mine, a big budget Star Trek episode starring Dennis Quaid.  How will Enemy Mine hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Matthew

This week we eat some giant pancakes with some annoying children. We watched Uncle Buck, there just ain't enough John Candy out there. RIP.  How will Uncle Buck hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Alex, Candace Directed by John Hughes Starring: John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Louisa Kelly, Gaby Hoffmann, Amy Madigan, Elaine Bromka, Garrett M. Brown, Laurie Metcalf, Jay Underwood, Brian Tarantina,...

This week we dust off our Rex-Kwon-Do and sweet nunchuck skills while we eat our pocket tots. We watched Napoleon Dynamite, because we do whatever we feel like we wanna do. Gosh! 2004's most quoted movie. How will Napoleon Dynamite hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Alex, Charlie   Directed by Jared Hess Starring: Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell, Diedrich Bader, Tina Majorino, San...

This week we lose our Zords, but no worries, its always in the last place you look....We watched Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995), oozing for 30 years. How will Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko   Directed by Bryan Spicer Starring: Karan Ashley, Johnny Yong Bosch, Steve Cardenas, Jason David Frank, Amy Jo Johnson, David Yost, Paul Schrier, Jason Narvy, P...

This week on Myopia Movies, we indulge the dog days of summer with a visit to The Sandlot. This is the first time I noticed the puppet, the terrifying terrifying puppet.  How will The Sandlot hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Alex, Matt   Directed by David Mickey Evans Starring: Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, Art LaFleur, Patrick Renna, Denis Leary, Karen Allen, James Earl Jones, Marley Shelton. 

This week we revisit the Double Deuce and revisit Road House, a delightful film and cast. How will Road House hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matt, Alex Directed by Rowdy Herrington Starring: Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott

This week on Myopia, we realize why the Superman franchise went dormant for nearly two decades, we watched Superman IV: The Quest for Peace...why. I mean....Nuclear Man alone...our shortest episode in years....sorry, not sorry. How will Superman 4: The Quest for Peace hold up? Spoilers, poorly.  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur   Directed by Sidney J. Furie Starring: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackm...