Life After Menopause

Ending a long term relationship is difficult enough with all the fears and uncertainties that go with that but the thought of getting back onto the dating scene after a 20- or 30-year relationship can be even more daunting. We all hear the horror stories of the current dating scene, particularly online dating, and we're already battle scarred from the breakup of our long term relationship so why w...

What do you do when you find out your partner has cheated on you? Or they've been lying about something? How do you rebuild trust? Can you rebuild trust? All good relationships are built on some kind of trust and when that's broken by one or both of the parties, it can be almost impossible to overcome. Almost impossible... Dr Deirdre Tozer is a psychologist who specialises in supporting couples go...

Reading people is a crucial skill that enhances our understanding of others, fosters empathy, and improves communication. Through observation of facial expressions, body language, and verbal cues, we gain valuable insights into a person's emotions, intentions, and thoughts, often going beyond what they explicitly convey.    Some of us are good at reading people, some of us are maybe not so good bu...

Body image, overeating, bingeing, overexercising, self image, they all go hand in hand. You can't change any of them permanently without getting to the reasons behind the beliefs that cause that behaviour Self-awareness and understanding one's emotional relationship with food play a pivotal role. Recognising triggers, such as stress, boredom, or emotional eating patterns, allows us to develop heal...

Leaving a relationship is an emotionally challenging - and charged - decision, but if there's nothing particularly wrong, if the relationship is just a bit meh, how do you justify even going to counselling, never mind separating? This can be one of the biggest problems: if there's not much wrong, how do you do something about it? If you're not happy but you're also not unhappy, how do you have tha...

We get to certain points in life and struggle to find meaning or purpose for our lives and ourselves any more. Midlife / Menopause is one of them. What do you do when you just don't see the point in what you're doing? When everything is 'meh' and there's no spark in life? Most of us have hit that point where we feel like we're going nowhere and we're just marking the passage of time... and it's no...

Menopause is a challenge in and of itself but when you add in the fact that thyroid issues are likely to appear during peri/menopause, it takes things to a whole new level. One day you're feeling on top of the world, the next, your thyroid decides to throw a wild party, leaving you exhausted, irritable, and wondering where your energy disappeared to. We can look at the symptoms of peri/menopause a...

Here's the question: since there's been a big rise in childhood obesity in recent years, should governments have more of an involvement in what children do and don't eat?   Should they be monitoring the foods they're given? Should they be monitoring the food we're all given, beyond just the safety regulations they currently have in place? What are the problems that might result from a heavier gove...

Have you ever stopped to consider the potential of a heartfelt letter to the most intimate parts of yourself? Let's face it, you probably haven't but it might just be the missing piece in your life. Firstly, think of the therapy it could provide. Pouring out your thoughts and feelings onto paper, addressing them to your lady bits, could be a cathartic experience like no other. It's like having a d...

Women face numerous barriers when trying to achieve many things in life, but when they enter politics, those gender biases and stereotypes go up to a whole new level.   From discrimination and harassment, both online and offline, to traditional gender roles and societal expectations, to media focus on female politicians' appearance, when women enter politics their experience is completely differen...

The menopause years, where we become experts in the fine art of standing up for ourselves. It's like getting a Ph. D. in being an unstoppable force. When you reach a certain age, it seems like we're surrounded by people who think they can dismiss our opinions because we don't know what we're talking about. Unfortunately for them, they quickly find out that we've got the ultimate weapons in our ars...

I wonder how many people if they were being completely, 100% honest with themselves would admit that somewhere in the dark, hidden recesses of their minds, they believe, even just a little bit, that obesity is the result of laziness. Our minds are incredible things but we process so much information constantly that it's necessary to create ready made boxes that we can easily fit people or situatio...

When you're not feeling good about yourself but you also want to get back into shape, going to the gym can be a challenge, to say the least. Most gyms are places where people go to show off their abs, their biceps, their glutes, they're not places where anyone who doesn't feel amazingly good about themselves feels comfortable. And then there's the fact that some of us don't like going to the gym a...

Overhearing a conversation between two male relatives as a child where they're discussing the fact that it was a shame that you were born a girl because with your personality and gifts, you should have been born a boy, will have a huge impact on how you view yourself and your gender. The fastest growing age group for divorce is in the over 55's and recently I've had personal experience in why that...

You might not think of peri-menopause or painful periods as being traumatic, but any woman who's experience one or both knows how debilitating they can be both mentally and physically. The brain fog, the forgetfulness, the lost work days, the concern that you're losing your mind, the stress about all these weird symptoms you're suddenly experiencing, the ridiculously heavy periods, the pain. All o...

It's no secret that men are often emotionally immature and it can be a huge source of frustration and resentment - and the major cause for separation - for their partners. Emotional immaturity in a partner can lead to unhealthy relationships, lack of communication and trust, and ultimately, an inability to build meaningful connections. Whether it's a lack of emotional intelligence or an inability...

Basically, regardless of where it's coming from - ourselves or others - invalidation is a form of emotional abuse. Invalidation can be subtle or overt, but it always has the same effect: to make us feel small and insignificant.   We all have opinions (some of them are definitely Opinions) and we're all entitled to them. But a lifetime of being told that you're wrong, either in overt ways such as s...

I found it physically and emotionally challenging when I had my fourth child when I was 40, but having a third child aged 57, I just cannot imagine. But that's what Barb Higgins did. A few years ago, Barb's teenaged daughter died suddenly from an undiagnosed brain tumour, then Barb's husband became very ill with renal failure and kidney disease. We all grieve and recover from grief in different wa...

The Merriam Webster Dictionary says,  "The English language has many fine words for “coward”... However, fine though they may be, none of these words have the evocative power that comes from compounding quake and buttock." Like many of us, particularly women, I am a quakebuttock when it comes to prolonged confrontation.  But there are quite a lot of things that are great about getting older and on...

Anxious feelings can be hard to process and understand but when we ignore them, they can manifest in unexpected ways. Depression, sleeplessness and nervousness about our daily lives are the usual things we associate with anxiety, but things like being closed minded, needing to get things right and even gaslighting can all be indicators of high levels of anxiety. Professor Frances Kay-Lambkin expla...

When we're going through a highly emotional and stressful time (such as separating from our partner and/or moving home... maybe both at the same time), it's so easy to feel like we're on an emotional roller coaster. But what if you just can't afford to be on that roller coaster because there's just too much at stake and too many things that need doing? When you listen to your emotions, rather than...

When you've been in a relationship for a very long time, it can get to the stage where you and your partner are just your irritations, resentments, and complaints when you're interacting with each other. The days where you were so in love that you listened to them as someone who is basically amazing are long gone. How do you get back to that (assuming that you want to)? CAN you get that back?    ...

Menopause and Perimenopause are so much more than just physical changes. Nutrition can have a huge impact on the way you experience this journey. A balanced diet can alleviate many symptoms, making this a smoother transition. ⁣⁣Discover how proper nutrition during perimenopause can help reduce your risk of developing common health problems like heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.  Liza Baker, nu...

Trauma is not necessarily just one big, overwhelming event. It can also be the result of ongoing stress and anxiety. And any kind of trauma can lead to addiction, which is why it's important to recognize the signs and symptoms of trauma in order to prevent it from leading to more serious problems. The good news is that recognizing the signs of traumatic experiences can help us take steps towards h...

Eating right is important – but it’s far from the only way to take care of ourselves. It’s about building healthy habits and creating positive changes in our life. It's about understanding what works best for you in terms of nutrition and exercise, but also recognizing the importance of finding balance in all aspects of life.  Self care isn't just about eating well - it's about nourishing your who...