How To! with Mike Pesca

Sharon is 38 and never been kissed. This, as she acknowledges, is "a bit weird." As a nurse who loves ballroom dancing, Sharon is smart, funny, and attractive. At the same time, she's deeply religious and has been waiting so long for the perfect man she worries that she'll never find "The One." In this classic How To! episode, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in one of New York City's finest ma...

Keith prides himself on being a good dad to his three sons. But in a post-pandemic world with looming student debt and uncertain opportunities, the future can be really scary. He's especially worried about his middle son Ben, an introvert who doesn't know what to do after he graduates high school this year. On this episode of How To! host Carvell Wallace brings on Rebecca Lavoie . She's a versatil...

Yuzuha has been interviewing people for six years. She's a journalist based in Japan who writes about business and technology but has dreamed of working in broadcast, interviewing people for an audience. Her first challenge is coming sooner than she expected. Yuzuha was asked to moderate a panel at a big conference in Tokyo. She wants to know how to speak with confidence, capture an audience, and...

Earlier this year, our listener, Rell, nearly failed a promotion. Not because she was unprepared or unqualified, but because she didn't maintain enough eye contact with the interviewers. Rell's eye hasn't been fully receiving information since she was born, a condition that's outwardly visible and known colloquially as a "lazy eye." It's beginning to affect her self-confidence and is this "ugly th...

January is barely two weeks old and already some of our ambitious New Year's resolutions may be starting to fade. No shame! Approximately 90% of resolution makers don't reach their goal. Which means there's gotta be a better way. Our listener this week, Emily, is discouraged about her unhealthy eating and lack of exercise and wants to form better habits that last long after the new year. On this e...

In the wake of the anniversary of the January 6th insurrection, and now similar riots in Brazil's capital, we're picking up our conversation about how to reduce political violence. In the first episode of our two-part series, we heard from Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld , senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace . This week, we're talking with Curtis Toler , director of outreach at Ch...

It's been two years since the January 6th riot at the US Capitol in Washington DC. Over 900 people have been criminally charged, but political violence continues to be a threat. Well, here at How To!, we are not content to just marinate in fear and blame so we're dedicating two episodes to see how we can prevent more tragedies like January 6. In our first episode, we bring on Dr. Rachel Kleinfeld...

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we saved the planet , unbroke the news , discovered our style , sat in silence , found pleasure , put a small town on the map , learned to laugh , ran for office (without being an a**hole ), and talked politics with our parents . On this episode of How To!, the team gathers 'round the mic to round up our favorite adv...

TJ has spent years trying to heal herself and put her childhood behind her. Both of her parents struggled with addiction, which made for a very complicated, unstable upbringing. After sacrificing her own childhood to raise her siblings—TJ feels deeply wounded by her mother in particular. She really wants to let it go. The only question is how. On this episode of How To!, we bring on journalist Mar...

This week, Los Angeles' newly elected mayor Karen Bass declared a state of emergency to help address the city's homelessness crisis. It's an overwhelming issue that has left a lot of Angelenos wondering how they can help, including this week's listener Alex. On this episode, host Amanda Ripley brings on two people who have experience fighting housing insecurity. Theo Henderson is an activist and h...

'Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It's also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week's listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker , author of The Art of Gathering , explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer...

Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke , author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away , helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive b...

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn't written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble , was one of the...

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decis...

As Kate's teenage son, Sam, approached college she noticed him withdrawing. He wasn't excited about his future and started to show symptoms of major depression. It came to a crisis point one summer night before Sam was set to leave for school. In the weeks and months that followed, Sam struggled to navigate the mental health system in search of care. And Kate? Kate was left wondering how she could...

Today we're going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán , senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I...

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we're joined by Mónica Guzmán , senior fellow for public practice at B...

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She's also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children's haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To! , we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr , author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear , to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle refle...

If you've ever vacationed on the beaches of Delaware, chances are you drove right by Smyrna. It's a small but charming town that's been bypassed by the main highways. Which is why Mike, a small business owner on the town council, wants to create a spectacular, engaging roadside attraction to tempt tourists into town. The only snag? He doesn't know what to actually build. On this episode of How To!...

After three decades of marriage, Bernadette wasn't exactly blindsided when Rodney asked for a divorce. Things had been rocky for awhile, but she always assumed they'd live the rest of their lives "unhappily ever after." Now Bernadette is facing an uncertain future, wondering how she's going to navigate her new life socially, emotionally, and financially. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr....

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn't know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn't want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That's because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana's wondering how she can preserve her identity while th...

College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn't help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber , New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for Colle...

When Trish first started working in corporate recruiting, she had wonderful co-workers, a supportive manager, opportunities for growth—it was "bliss." But the bliss evaporated in 2020 when she got laid off during the pandemic. She's since found a different job in the same field, but also decided to try her hand at teaching pilates part-time. Now, after burning the candle at both ends, Trish is bur...

In the second of a two-part episode on reimagining the news we continue our conversation with Nicole Lewis , Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein , co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network , and former contributor to the New York Times' Fixes column. The discussion picks up where we left off on how journalists...

About five or six years ago, host Amanda Ripley started noticing that her normal news diet left her feeling depleted and depressed. She tried mixing up her news habits, even avoiding it for awhile, but nothing helped. It felt like a shameful secret. Shouldn't journalists love consuming the news? She began to wonder, is it me....or is it the news itself? On this episode of How To!, the first of two...