Hardcover Hooligans

The moral of this story is to not bully the girl with latent psychic abilities. CW: discussions of violence, blood, domestic abuse, various sexual stuff, misogyny, religious abuse, and I’m sure other unpleasant things. Carrie By Stephen King Published in 1974 by Doubleday. Spoilers Carrie Links: Summary and info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_(novel) Thanks for listening! If you liked the s...

I guess books are just video games now. This week we cover “Dungeon Crawler Carl”, the first book in the best-selling LitRPG series of the same name. Dungeon Crawler Carl By Matt Dinniman Self-published in 2020. Spoilers Dungeon Crawler Carl Links: Summary and info: https://dungeon-crawler-carl.fandom.com/wiki/Dungeon_Crawler_Carl_(Book) LitRPG: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LitRPG Thanks for list...

That’s right, we read comic books now! Just kidding, it’s called a graphic novel . And this one’s about a bunch of superheroes who aren’t really that super and one blue guy who is TOO super. Get ready for morally grey characters, questionable motives, and a weird spooky pirate story. Watchmen By Alan Moore & David Ribbons Published in 1987 by DC Comics. Spoilers Watchmen Links: Summary and inf...

We finish The Way of Kings and are left with boredomspren floating around our computers. Plus, we read some one-star Goodreads reviews of The Way of Kings and do a quick overview of the other Stormlight Archive books. The Way of Kings By Brandon Sanderson Published in 2010 by Tor Books. Spoilers The Way of Kings Misc. spoilers for Words of Radiance, Oathbringer, and Rhythm of War (marked off at th...

We embark on The Way of Kings, the first book in Brandon Sanderson’s magnum opus series, The Stormlight Archive. This book dares to explore such important questions as “what if someone who was good at fighting also had depression?” and “what if big swords but no blood?” Content warnings: discussion of depression, mentions of suicide The Way of Kings By Brandon Sanderson Published in 2010 by Tor Bo...

Fitz’s story finds a poetic, complex, and bittersweet ending, but all we can talk about are Prince Verity’s cool silver arms. Which begs the question: did Robin Hobb want Prince Verity to eventually become this world’s Silver Surfer? As usual, we also read a bunch of one-star Goodreads reviews about the book. Plus, we announce what we’ll be tackling next on the Hardcover Hooligans podcast. Assassi...

Are chronic pain, sadness, social isolation, and the unbearable burden of duty worth it if it means you get abs? The Hardcover Hiatus is over, and the boys are back to talk about the final sections of Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy. Assassin’s Quest By Robin Hobb Published in 1997 by Voyageur Books. Spoilers Assassin’s Apprentice Royal Assassin Assassin’s Quest Links: Summary and info: https://en.wi...

"Huh?! They're not dead?! And now they're trying to bait me into listening to this announcement by being intentionally omnious and vague?! What the hell?!" – All of you, right now A quick announcement by Danylo about the future of the podcast.

Our favorite teenage wolf assassin is back, but does this mean he stops getting shafted by everyone and everything in his life? No. But has he learned anything from what he's gone through? Also, no. Will he continue to make questionable decisions about his life? Yes. And we get to read about it. Content Warnings Mention of sexual assault Assassin’s Quest By Robin Hobb Book 3 of the Farseer Trilogy...

We continue to read about the fraught life of a moody teen who is slowly turning into a crazy wolf man. Believe it or not, this causes problems in his personal life. Royal Assassin By Robin Hobb Book 2 of the Farseer Trilogy Published in 1996 by Spectra. Spoilers Assassin’s Apprentice Royal Assassin Links: Summary: https://robinhobbelderlings.fandom.com/wiki/Royal_Assassin Image of final scene: ht...

In the previous book, Fitz bonds with a dog. In this book, he bonds with a wolf. What's the next step, the final evolution? What's the Blastoise of wolves? These questions not answered in the episode, but it's still a fun discussion of a great book. We're continuing with the second book in the Farseer Trilogy, Royal Assassin. And goddamit, it's even better than the first one. And we're sorry about...

This book is unbelievably good. I love Fitz and Prince Verity and they are my real life best friends. What an incredibly breath of fresh air! The fellas finish Assassin's Apprentice and are left feeling... good? Excited for the future? Almost as if maybe they should just be reading stuff they like and not stuff that makes them want to give up their ability to read? Find out within... Assassin’s Ap...

The blurb on the back cover of this book makes it sound like it’s fantasy for babies, but it’s actually really really good. Assassin’s Apprentice By Robin Hobb Book 1 of the Farseer Trilogy Published in 1995 by Spectra. Spoilers Assassin’s Apprentice Links Summary and info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin%27s_Apprentice Chapter-by-chapter summary: https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/robinhobbme...

We dive into the mind of Robert Neville, a lonely, sexually repressed, alcoholic 1950s white man who staves off his horniness by blasting classical music and checking out books from the library. And yeah, he’s the last man in the world. And yeah, he’s killing LOTS of vampires. (Also did we mention he’s really horny?) I Am Legend By Richard Matheson Published in 1954 by Gold Medal Books. Spoilers I...

Well, we did it. We solved the Three Body Problem. Maybe the real Trisolaran Empire was the friends we made along the way. Big sigh. The Three Body Problem By Cixin Liu Translated by Ken Liu First published in China as a serial in 2006, then as a standalone book in 2008. Published in 2014 in English by Tor Books. Spoilers The Three Body Problem (the whole book) Thanks for listening! If you liked t...

Danylo and Mc venture into the past, to then rocket into the future in The Three Body Problem! Things are not looking good for science, or anything else for that matter! What could it be?? Aliens?? Yup. The Three Body Problem By Cixin Liu Translated by Ken Liu First published in China as a serial in 2006, then as a standalone book in 2008. Published in 2014 in English by Tor Books. Spoilers The Th...

We finally get to the NSFW parts of Fourth Wing! And also there is a sweet wizard fight. Join us as Mc leads us through the joy of audiobook listening to great performers when the actual book probably actually sucks! Fourth Wing By Rebecca Yarros Published in 2023, by Entangled Publishing Spoilers Fourth Wing (second half) Thanks for listening! If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And...

Oh boy here we go. A book that came out in the last five years?? What has this podcast become. This week Mc tackles the booktok sensation Fourth Wing to find just what all the hub bub is about. Is it good? Bad? Sexy?? Maybe it could be all three. Like Challengers! I guess you gotta listen to find out... Fourth Wing By Rebecca Yarros Published in 2023, by Entangled Publishing Spoilers Fourth Wing (...

Cauldron boil and fry me! Danylo has finished A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR), and he has some thoughts and feelings. Maybe, just maybe, the real ACOTAR was the friends we made along the way. A Court of Thorns and Roses By Sarah J. Maas Published in 2015, by Bloombury Publishing Spoilers A Court of Thorns and Roses (entire book, and some for the rest of the series) Links Read AI Jereny's wond...

WHY GOD WHY??? Danylo and Mc explore the #Booktok phenomenon 'A Court of Thorns and Roses', written by Sarah J. Mass. It's uh.... well it's certainly a novel! We are trying something new! In an unexpected twist, Mc hasn't read the book. Does he have the attention span to listen to Danylo talk about lore he doesn't care about? Find out within! A Court of Thorns and Roses By Sarah J. Maas Published...

Danylo and Mc finally finish The Silmarillion, and with that all of J.R.R. Tolkien’s most notable work. Turin Turumbar is the most depressing man of all time, Mîm sucks, and a hidden city becomes no longer hidden in dramatic fashion. The Silmarillion By J.R.R. Tolkien. Edited by Christopher Tolkien Published in 1977 by George Allen & Unwin. * Spoilers: * The Silmarillion The Lord of Rings The...

The tragic saga of the Silmarils continues with Sauron doing a Battle of the Bands, a talking dog, and the coolest heist ever. The Silmarillion By J.R.R. Tolkien. Edited by Christopher Tolkien Published in 1977 by George Allen & Unwin. * Spoilers: * The Silmarillion The Lord of Rings The Hobbit Links: Chapter summaries: https://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/reference/silmsummaries/home.php...

Danylo and Mc have a timely discussion on a movie that came out like a month ago. They discuss the differences between Frank Herbert’s novel Dune (1965), and the recent film Dune Part 2 (2024) by Denis Villeneuve, starring Timothée Chalamet and a very bald and very white Austin Butler. Does Space Elvis love knife fights? Yes, yes he does. Dune By Frank Herbert Published in 1965 by Chilton Books. *...

If you thought fantasy couldn’t get nerdier than the appendices of Lord of the Rings, let us introduce you to The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien, the "prequel" to Lord of the Rings. It is very cool. And beautiful. And also boring sometimes. Is it for everyone? No. Is it for anyone ? Well… The Silmarillion By J.R.R. Tolkien. Edited by Christopher Tolkien Published in 1955 by George Allen & Unw...

That’s right, the appendices of The Lord of the Rings have so much frickin’ nerd stuff we need a whole separate episode. We’ve got some great stories like Helm Hammerhand beating everyone up, Aragorn’s dating history, and Sam getting elected mayor of the Shire every year until he dies. The Return of the King By J.R.R. Tolkien Published in 1955 by George Allen & Unwin. * Spoilers: * All of The...