Fun Box Monster Podcast

In the third installment of the Poltergeist series, we're going to double down on the mistakes made in the second one and make them even bigger and more confusing. Are there moments of magical brilliance? Totally. Are there big swaths of walking up stairways and calling out someone's name like a lesser 70's Hammer movie? You betcha.  Matt and Tristan talk Poltergeist 3.

In the original Poltergeist a happy likable family, through no fault of their own, become the victims of a malevolent spectral force. In part two, the spectral force is there, but the happy likable family...is not quite as happy or likable. By adding too much Amityville and Shining to the mix, plus a tiny dash of xenophobia it misses the mark a bit. But there's still a lot to like about it. Matt a...

There's like a troll or something? I guess his name is Grim or maybe not. There's some caves. People walk a whole bunch. I guess there's a talisman that does something, but they lose it. Sometimes people's eyes go red.  Matt and Tristan talk about it for some reason. 

My toxic trait is that I would totally sign up for the lot 6 tests, even after that dude clawed his eyes out.  Join Matt and Tristan for the closest thing we got to an X-Men movie in the eighties, Firestarter. 

Ok. Big old trigger warning. If there's a thing that bothers you to hear discussed even in less than graphic detail (SA, animal deaths) this might not be the one for you. This is a pretty mean movie in places, and pretty incomprehensible in places so be forewarned. That said, on the good side it's a very impressive low budget movie that did a whole lot with not much. On the bad side, some of the n...

Without a doubt, this is the best movie ever to feature James Earl Jones wearing a Locust mascot costume. 

This movie is a case study in how a generic title combined with a bad poster can sink even the best of movies into obscurity. How this thing isn't talked about CONSTANTLY is a downright tragedy. 

Turns out that the real Curse was the movie we all watched together. 

A special Valentine's Day episode! 

Remember telephones? Well, if you do, there were these numbers you could call for psychics, sex talk, or drunken Santas. As it turns out, like the majority of capitalist enterprises, they were run by the devil. Join Matt and Tristan for the eighties best phone-based-satan movie, 976-Evil. 

Crime is the disease, he's the cure. He's going to inoculate society with a vaccine made of bullets. He's putting a cast on society's broken leg. A cast of punching. He's going to treat society's plantar fasciitis by pouring gas on it and setting it on fire. Matt and Tristan watch the Cannon films masterpiece, Cobra. 

In a town where lawnmowers are outlawed, one outlaw rises to cut lawns to a uniform height. Matt and Tristan talk about Lawnmower man. 

In this Stephen King classic, several terrible Maine accents battle for supremacy in a mill full of rats. 

Evil Dead wind travels from Africa to Florida (Actually still Africa) to pop the heads off some folks who are just trying to enjoy their Voodoo in peace. Also, a guy is going through a divorce. Surprisingly more is said about that than the head popping. 

Not to crib a more successful podcast's thing, but I honestly can't figure out how this got made. I don't hate it, but it is so deeply weird, and I believe there are no more than 2 actual professional actors in it. Also it has better SFX than movies with fifty million dollar budgets. Truly inexplicable, but worth checking out. 

I only have one major problem with Ghoulies 4. There aren't even four Ghoulies. Haters will say there aren't even two Ghoulies, and that two actors in halloween masks don't count as little rubber monsters, but that isn't for me to say. Matt and Tristan discuss Ghoulies 4. 

Everybody wants to see Phil Fondacaro turned into a Ghoulie, and there's no other movie where you can see it. 

Everybody shut up. Tina is a treasure. How dare you all. Matt and Tristan talk about the best/worst entry in the Halloween franchise. 

The story of a Were-cat and her son, and nothing else super creepy or off-putting. 

The classic story of a cursed item shop where the proprietor doesn't want to sell items, shouldn't sell items, and does anyway, then gets mad that you bought them. It's probably a metaphor for capitalism somehow, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. 

There's definitely a house. As to fun...We leave that up to you. 

He who walks behind the rows has gotten a hip 90's makeover. Oaklies, Bugle Boys, the whole deal. Three times the corn...three times the terror. Or something. 

More like...Unwatchable...amirite? Yeah. The episode is at about that level too. Sorry. I'm on vacation next week, and really phoned it in. Also, this movie is kinda rough. 

In the tradition of 2001 A Space Odyssey, 2,000 BC, and 2000 Flushes toilet cleaner, comes Dracula 2000. The story of several regrettable haircuts, and some sort of vampire or something. 

The king will be praised. Hell will be raised. Suckers will try to phase him. But Pinhead won't be phased. (In space)