Film Broads

We have on our hands a remarkable thing: a king Arthur movie that is well made, and interesting, and also very boring and kind of mean? We're not going to tell you to watch it (unless you really want to), but we'll explain in the episode.

Can it be? An Arthurian story we've never covered? Be still, my heart. Let's meet Marie de France and Lanval!

Well, it's an easy watch at least. We've got another Connecticut Yankee on our hands, but did Disney manage to do anything interesting with it? And would it really be possible to build a medieval mountain bike?

If you want some straight up and down mid-century Arthuriana, it doesn't get more stock-standard than this. No, that's not supposed to sound like a compliment.

Is it possible to Frankenstein a good movie from the remains of a prior, not very good movie? Maybe, but Siege of the Saxons is not it, off-brand Robin Hood notwithstanding.

We thought the 2000s Tristan and Isolde was a low water mark, but this one gives it a run for its money. Is it impossible to make a good Tristan and Isolde? And, more crucially, who the hell is Dinas?

It's the King Arthur movie against which all others are measured. It's Excalibur.

Once upon a time, one man and his second wife decided they could make movies without the studio system that didn't seem to want them. But did they manage to pull it off?

October is for bad movies, apparently, and this is one really tested our limits. Listen to the episode, but don't watch the film. Truly.

New archaeology dropped! Turns out Arthur was a Roman. Or a Sarmatian? What even is a Sarmatian? And who decided Clive Owen should play him? Find out all this and more in this episode! Content warning: The movie features discussion of sexual assault and it comes up in the episode.

Dad's mowing the lawn, your big brother is still asleep, and the whole weekend is ahead of you. Grab a bowl of Froot Loops and the tv remote, because it's time to watch some cartoons. But the question is: what do King Arthur and the Knights of Justice and Princess Gwenevere and the Jewel Riders have to do with Arthuriana (and where do we get these action figures??)?

What could King Arthur have to do with mid-century American politics? As it turns out, more than you'd think!

Well, it finally happened, folks. We found a movie we just hate. Find out from us why it's so bad, but for the love of god don't watch it.

It's our first cartoon since the first adventure on this Grail Quest. But how does this childhood favorite hold up? And does it have anything at all to do with legend?

We found a weird, hilarious, beautiful little gem and we couldn't be happier about it. This movie was a complete delight, but how does it compare to its source material? Editor's note: I misspoke towards the end of the episode; "sang real" translates as "royal blood," not "holy blood." Sorry! -Ashley

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses depictions of racism including actors in brown face, and sexual assault Not gonna sugarcoat it, this one is bad even by 50s standards. Some good hats, though.

This movie asks questions few dare to ask, such as "what if Lancelot wore jeans?" and "what if Arthur had weird goblin energy?" 

This was a long one to watch, and a long one to record (especially with our very talkative new cohost!). But then, the life of Merlin should be a pretty complicated tale. We just didn't expect... well, a lot of this.

Two good movies in a row? It feels like Christmas! Oh, wait. This is the story of a very beautiful jerk who gets his face touched a lot. We really like it.

Finally some good f*cking food. The Kid Who Would Be King is a delightful adventure for all ages (did we mention it's delightful?). But how does it compare to the legends it invokes?

We tried to find something spooky for October, and while it turns out this movie wasn't that spooky it sure is something.  CORRECTION: We will address this further at the beginning of the next episode, but we neglected to do our homework and it turns out the actors in this film are all actually from the UK. Oops!

We're back in the romance genre with this film from our long-ago youth. The cast is stacked, the color grading is set to sepia and King Arthur is nowhere to be seen, now it's time to get sexy. At least, that's the idea.

Well we had to cover one of the versions of it at some point, though it remains to be seen if it has much to do with Arthuriana at all... Come for the Bing Crosby tunes, stay for the, um, horse-based comedy?

One of the most recent Hollywood forays into Arthuriana, this Guy Ritchie romp may leave you pumped up, or perhaps just scratching your head. Is there ANYTHING of the source material in here?

We're back for more, and this one is certainly a change of pace. What does Arthurian legend become when you take out the magic? And also, who told Richard Gere to kiss like that?