Emancipate Your Mind

When we have a loud or persistent inner critical voice, it can sometimes feel like we’re at war with ourselves. What if we understood that that part of us isn’t trying to be an enemy, but our friend? What if we knew that this part, harsh and critical as it is, is trying to keep us safe? In this episode, we utilize the research of Internal Family Systems created by Richard Schwartz and...

In this episode, District 18 Candidate for Texas Senate, Josh Tutt, talks about how 3 of his guiding principles have helped him worry less about what people will think of him as an openly gay man running for office and be the change he wishes to see and he believes Texans deserve. To follow Josh on his campaign trail, to donate to his campaign, or to talk with him more about his Dungeons and Drago...

Have you ever tried to change a behavior or thought pattern but found yourself getting “blocked”, distracted, or feeling resistance to change? Do you feel recurring depressive thoughts or anxiety that you can’t explain? You’re likely encountering a protective part of you that is trying to shield a wounded childhood version of yourself from further pain or harm. In this epis...

Sometimes we may feel like we are at odds with ourselves as we heal from religious and childhood trauma and attachment injuries. There may be part of ourselves that feels excited and free as we move towards the next chapter in our lives, and another part of ourselves that feels anxious, afraid, and even ashamed of the direction we’re headed. In this episode, we explore how Internal Family Sy...

While it’s been found that learning to be more authentic (to live true to our own values, beliefs, feelings, and needs) can bring us a greater sense of self esteem, lower stress, and greater life satisfaction, many of us can get caught up in old subconscious thought patterns when trying to live authentically that can actually make it harder for us to accept who we are in the present moment a...

Whether you’re leaving a high demand religion or coming out as LGBTQIA+, talking to those you love can feel daunting and overwhelming. In today’s episode, Coming Out Coach, Sally Osborne, walks us through the things she’s learned about coming out to friends and family members in a way that honors our feelings and boundaries and gives our relationships the best chance of surviving...

Most people want their parents’ approval. The fear of disappointing parents seems to be a near universal concern. For those of us healing from high demand Christian religion, this is often compounded by the indoctrination that we must “honor father and mother” if we want to be a good person. And even worse, “honor” is often conflated with “obey” and then l...

The fear of disappointing others is usually pretty high for those of us deconstructing high demand religious indoctrination and practices. Because high demand systems often encourage codependency, we often believe we are responsible for other people’s emotions and even sometimes their feelings of self-worth. When other people are disappointed with us or just don’t like us we don’...

The family scapegoat and golden child roles are two sides of the same coin, and neither role has to do with the merit of the child themselves. It all has to do with how the parent sees themselves. In this episode, we explore what traits the golden child may have in adulthood, the benefits and struggles that come with that, as well as how they are pitted against the scapegoat to provide the emotion...

This week we unravel what it’s like to be the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family, why a scapegoat role is created, how that person is conditioned over time, and how that affects them in adult life. We also explore some first steps for healing from the limiting beliefs and internalized shame this role can create in our adult lives. ____________________________________________________________...

Religious trauma is often tied to and perpetuated by dysfunctional family systems, particularly headed by one or more narcissists. In today’s episode, we explore the roles in narcissistic family systems and how that affects each person’s sense of safety, belonging, and ability to care for their own needs.  ___________________________________________________________________________...

After the last episode with Monika Crowfoot, many people messaged me discussing how they felt caught between cultures like she did and felt inspired to learn more about their cultural heritage as a way to heal. I also received messages from some expressing that they wished they had a culture to reclaim. Many felt culture-less and wondered if it was necessary to explore their cultural heritage in o...

In dualistic systems (good vs. evil thinking) there are some identities and traits that are favored and others that are considered “wrong” or “bad”. This leads people to try and assimilate to the identities that are considered “good” and hide or disown the parts of themselves that are considered “bad”. In this episode, Monika discusses how that kind...

Over the past two years, we’ve collectively been in a state of ongoing trauma. A global pandemic, ecological disasters, political upheaval, supply chain problems and increasing inflation. Add onto this that many of us have undergone religious and ideological deconstruction, including deconstruction of ideas we were raised to believe based on gender, race, nationality, sexual orientation,&nbs...

In this episode, Charisse from The Existential Ginger podcast explores high demand religion, mental health, and suicidal ideation. We talk about how to recognize some of the signs and symptoms, what to do if you’re experiencing suicidal ideation, and how to help if you know someone who is.  _______________________________________________________________________________ WANT MORE FROM CH...

Transcript My experience with coaching has been that the majority of us from high demand religious backgrounds also experience codependent patterns in our relationships. Codependency happens when we don’t have a clearly defined sense of self and instead look to others for a sense of identity and rely heavily on others for our sense of self worth. Some have gone so far as to call it an addict...

“I know what is going wrong in my relationship, but how do I create a healthy relationship when I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before?” One of you asked this question a couple of weeks ago after the podcast on setting boundaries with a narcissist. It’s such a valid question because we can’t create what we can’t envision. In this episode, my husband and L...

We all have bias. Once we decide that something is “true” or “right”, our brain quits accumulating information that contradicts our beliefs.  It does this to save us time and energy. However, for those of us who are deconstructing high demand, authoritarian systems of thought it’s especially crucial that we remain open to learning new ideas, especially ones that...

“Religion has the ability to impact which identities you hold onto, which identities you deny, and even what identities you think are possible and are valid”. “At its best, religious culture can be beautiful grounds for human flourishing, but at its worst it can be incredibly suppressive.”  In this episode, public speaker, writer, and ordained minister, Alicia T. Crosb...

Transcript If you were raised in a high demand religion you were likely taught about a punitive, narcissistic, abusive, or codependent god. In this discussion with fellow Deconstruction Coach, Kyle Bishop, we discuss some of the red flags of an abusive, narcissistic, or codependent god and how we were conditioned from a young age to enter into codependent relationships with this version of god. We...

Transcript Boundaries are necessary to create healthy, safe, and trusting relationships. However, when we’ve been raised in codependent relationships with narcissists, our attempts at setting boundaries are often thwarted, ignored, or punished. Over time, our lack of boundaries can leave us feeling unfulfilled, misunderstood, confused about who we are, and often at the mercy of others. ...

Transcript In the past 2 years of working with one to one clients, one of the most shocking discoveries for me was realizing how many people healing from religious harm are also dealing with the wounds from narcissistic abuse. Many of my clients don’t realize that the behavior of their parent, their partner, or their pastor that left such deep self-worth wounds has a name and even a diagnosi...

Transcript The underlying mindset we have about our inherent worth and acceptability can make a big difference in how we experience growth for the year. There is a big difference in the mindset of “I need to change so that I am worthy of love” vs “I love myself so I want to change.” In this episode, we explore the addictive and cyclic nature of chasing approval especially a...

Transcript I can’t believe this is the last episode of season 1! How did this year go by so fast? As we wrap up 10 months of discussions and healing, it’s so important to take some time and celebrate our wins along the journey. Celebrating creates momentum. It lights a fire underneath us. And when it comes to healing religious trauma, a little spark in the dark can go a long way. In th...

One of the biggest sources of overwhelm, guilt, and even shame as we go through religious transition is the word “should”. Coming from high demand religion, many of us have a pile of “shoulds” that we’ve been striving to meet our whole lives. Now that we’re deconstructing, and especially during the holiday season, these shoulds can become a heavy burden. In this...