Direct to Video

I'm hating that title more and more as time goes on. Remember when we watched good movies? Well, this time we didn't. Patrick Warburton is trying his best, Hayden Panettiere was did okay, and Glenn Close is, I'll say it, asleep at the wheel. Don't forget to pledge to A Summer of Sci-Fi & Fantasy: Vol 3 Kickstarter ! Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley . Find us on the Internet! Email...

I'm sure we're all just ecstatic to be talking about the most hideous 3d animation ever conceived of again. At least this time, there's a good story behind it. Oh, wait, I'm reviewing the footage, and I can't even say that in jest. Welp, here's a movie. Don't forget to pledge to A Summer of Sci-Fi & Fantasy: Vol 3 Kickstarter ! Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley . Find us on the Inte...

Remember when Disney decided they were going to put their 2d animation out to pasture, but decided to give it one last ride? Well, this is what they made. And it sure was... a moovie. This episode is not as punny as that description would suggest. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley . Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s o...

This might be the least we've ever talked about a movie! I'm pretty sure we only named two characters! I'm also pretty sure Disney is a company full of cowards who won't let a group of bears play the jug in their terrible movie! that's right, I've got opinions! Strong opinions! Strong, weird opinions! I've been doing the descriptions more freeform lately, and I have exactly zero regrets. Our theme...

Well, it’s that time of year again. There’s a lot of Christmas specials on this nondenominational podcast. And this is our second year in a row with Disney shorts! Spoiler: don’t watch this movie. Our theme music is Ukulele for Christmas by Lee Rosevere  Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictur...

This episode we watched The Land Before Time II - The Great Valley Adventure and The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island. One of them held up! You will immediately know which one. In any case, Chomper is the best. No notes on his performance. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley . Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s...

We’re back! And we’re ready and raring to talk about a real boring movie where basically nothing happens for a while and then it’s over. he end. Our theme music is Homeward by Scott Buckley . Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Youtube channel is Direct to Video Podcast Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures Tony is @theaterbats Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Time to talk about everyone’s favorite “character who is technically a Disney princess now, but only in the same way that Jack Kirby is a Disney legend:” Anastasia! (Technically this description also applies to Princess Leia and probably a character in Avatar.) We do talk a bit about how Disney owns everything now, and how it’s legitimately unsettling. We’re pretty split about this movie, but it’s...

Wow, it almost sounds like Tony forgot to adjust his levels before recording. Hmm… This episode, we reviewed the one Disney sequel only available on vhs: Hercules: Zero to Hero! Was it a fun romp through a Saturday morning cartoon version of Greek myth, or was it a bunch of cobbled together mythology references with barely any plot to keep them moving? Only one way to find out! Our theme music is...

New music, new… season? Anyway, I’m trying a new format in the descriptions. I was bored, sue me. We talk about Disney’s Hercules! It’s definitely a mess, but is is a charming mess or an infuriating one? We… boy we argue on that point. The good news is, we also manage to talk about important stuff, like Kingdom Hearts, terrible 90s CGI, GOOD 90s CGI, and that moment in Shrek when he and Donkey fig...

The least sexy episode 69 ever. Important questions: What was that twenty minute fake out about? Where is the Wikimedia Zone? Was this whole series Andy’s fault? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony pledging to never watch another of Richard Rich’s trash movies again. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is @royalty_valens Andy’s other...

Oh, no! We watched a terrible romcom and accidentally released it as a Valentine’s Day episode! Important questions: Did the animation get worse? How many movies is this movie? When will law enforcement figure out this tax scam? Keep an ear out for the sound of two people who are well and truly warn down by a terrible series. Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Ema...

Just in case you didn't get enough of us this year. Important questions: Why are Hewey, Dewey, and Louie so terrible? Are Max and Goofy Codependent? Did Andy... cut out tangents?? Keep an ear out for Tony armchair diagnosing Goofy and Andy condemning us to revisiting a classic series. Our theme music is The instrumental version of A Ukulele for Christmas. Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@dir...

I cannot believe how palatable the gargoyles are in this movie. Important questions: Why put gems inside a bell? Why is Madeline such a nothing character? Is Quasimodo an incel? Keep an ear out for Tony having nostalgia for something stupid and Andy busts out his Nic Cage impression. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is&nbs...

I, for one, love murder, lust, and genocide as key parts of my G-rated kids movies. Important questions: What makes a monster and what makes a man? Who is the protagonist of this movie? Is Quasimodo too ugly to love? Keep an ear out for Andy taking issue with a quite good song and Tony taking issue with the existence of the gargoyles. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on th...

This one might have taken like two months to edit because of real life being actively terrible, but we're back! Important questions: Why wasn't this movie fun? Why is Boots the bet character/robot/broken plot device? Mistakes: bad? Keep an ear out for Andy acting like he's not a nerd right before he admits to seeing Star Trek by himself on Valentine's Day. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee...

A story about a space cop fighting his dad. Important questions: Who will betray Buzz in the final act!? Who is the most nineties character in this movie? Why are the little green men charming? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony talking about Star Wars again, but this time it's thematic! Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is&...

There are a nonzero amount of dogs barking on this recording, am I'm choosing to call that “thematic.” Important questions: Is Harry a cop? Does Pikachu hate cops? How much Star Wars talk did I have to cut? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony each getting obsessive about different twists. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is&...

Back to the nineties. Back to the heyday of one of the most popular franchises ever. Back... to the future. (Because there's maybe time travel.) Important questions: What's Mewtwo's motivation? Why does Christian soft rock start playing? Who is the Voyager? Keep an ear out for Tony criticizing voice actor performances, and Andy getting deep into the politics of anime dubbing, Our theme music is&nb...

I hope you had “trivialized a mental disorder” on your bad movie bingo cards, because we sure didn't! Important questions: What's with all the ghost stuff? Did the music get... better? When did Number Nine get cool again? Keep an ear out for the CRAZY TWIST that you can turn letters sideways. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video An...

New year, same old terrible series. I deeply regret returning to this poisoned well. Important questions: Does anyone watch these movies? Why is Spider-Man acting so stupid? What is the worst plan in this film? Keep an ear out for the triumphant(?) return of Number Nine. Our theme music is  Planet E by Lee Rosevere Find us on the Internet! Email is mail@directto.video Andy is  @royalty_v...

All right, one last time before the end of the year, let's finish a series. Important questions: Could they have more blatantly gotten Robin Williams back? How racist are the forty thieves? In what myriad of ways does Cassim suck? Keep an ear out for Andy referring to Cassim as a “daddy” and Tony refusing to acknowledge it. Thanks to Lee Rosevere for

This is where it all began. The glitz! The glamor! The multiple songs sung by Gilbert Gottfried! Important questions: Why is the Genie terrible now? Why doesn’t the movie start for thirty minutes? Is “You’d be surprised what you can live through,” a good line? Keep an ear out for no less than three cats trying to ruin this recording! Our theme music is

We finally made it. It's over. This episode, we watch Disneytoons die. Important questions: What's the deal with these terrible cops? Does Andy have a stuffed Neverbeast now? Why did Fawn becomeTinkerbell? Content note: I did cut the ten minute rant about how Disney kills queer media but still wants the credit for doing the bare minimum for acknowledging people exist, but that was only because it...

This episode was pretty badly desynced until recently, but it's fixed now! Back from hiatus and better than—oh, no we're still in Neverland! Important questions: What does pixie dust do? Is science evil? Does Zarina wanna make out with Captain Hook? Keep an ear out for the potential genocide of the winter fairies. Our theme music is