Beyond the basement

In this episode, we explore the tyranny of taking life too seriously - that joyless, over-responsible, heavily burdened state that achievers, perfectionists, caretakers, people-pleasers and “grown-up good boys and girls” know all too well. From the trenches of self-improvement fatigue, I look at how seriousness becomes a self-reinforcing way of being in the world - one that mistakes control for sa...

Come with me on a two-day immersion in fooling - a raw, theatrical, embodied practice that invites you to meet the many parts of yourself with innocence, curiosity, and play. Part archetype, part inner-world explorer, the Fool becomes a guide into your psyche: revealing sleepy parts, terrified parts, sexy snake-bodied parts, collapsed melodrama parts, cautious parts, joyful parts - every fragment...

Unsettled and alone in hotel room somewhere in Derbyshire, mid-improv retreat, I explore the messy, human art of self-soothing- learning to find safety, connection, and calm within ourselves. This episode weaves together attachment theory, perfectionism, embodiment, and nervous system theory as I reflect on how people like us (anxiously attached) show up in relationship with ourselves and others,...

Come for a walk with me, exploring the nature of self and other - what it means to be sovereign, an individual in relationship with other individuals. I record this reflection in a time of loss and transition. Expect theory and tenderness: from Enneagram, instincts and attachment theory, to the longing for union, the ache of separation, and the bittersweet truth that we come in alone and leave alo...

I’m not doing so well, and I want to talk about that. In this croaky reflection, I explore what it means to know when you’re struggling. Not just intellectually, but through bodily signals you might recognise. Like the tight jaw, restless legs, sleepless nights, looping thoughts, the quiet slide from responsibility into martyrdom. Through the lens of perfectionism, I map how easily “doing our best...

Sorry, but you probably aren’t who (or how) you think you are. In this episode, I explore the inconvenient truth about identity - that there’s often a gap between who you take yourself to be and how other people experience us. Drawing from my embodiment coaching training, I share stories about receiving confronting feedback (and unexpected compliments), and how these moments can fundamentally shak...

Join me in a driftwood hut on the Humber estuary, where we explore what I believe to be your most precious asset - your attention and presence, where your consciousness, focus and attention goes (and your body along with it). I call this ‘aliveness’ for short. We’ll explore why aliveness isn’t necessarily something ‘out there’ to chase, but life that’s already within you (like desire, wants, attra...

Join me in my gently swinging hammock for a soothing, real and insightful exploration of grief and loss as a full-body experience. This episode tackles some big themes like pain, dignity, and humility: what happens when something meaningful just stops, and how to meet abrupt endings without hardening or collapsing. I talk about the dance between anger and sadness, posture and collapse, and what it...

In this episode, let’s dive into a pattern I see in myself and many other perfectionists: when anger and sadness happen simultaneously and get stuck in the body. I talk about that moment of feeling wronged or unseen - the surge of “I want to act” colliding with shame, grief and the impulse to shrink. It’s like driving with one foot on the accelerator and one on the brake: so much energy, but no mo...

Under a giant ash tree in my local cemetery, I unpack a juicy invitation a friend offered me: what if I simply enjoyed my biological instincts - without judging them or needing to act on them? If you’re a regular listener you’ll know I’m a recovering perfectionist. So I notice how quickly I police urges (from cream buns to sexual desire), labelling them “right/wrong” and shutting down aliveness. H...

It’s a juicy question, and one I tried to answer in the closing moments of my ‘Think Less, Play More’ workshop at Happy Startup School’s Summercamp. What emerged was good enough, yet could have been clearer - so here’s my attempt to explore and answer aloud. I share why playfulness isn’t about learning to “do” play, but about subtracting the noise and distractions that cover up our natural capacit...

Join me unpacking a recent experience of improvising at a festival - in a room that wasn’t quite ready to play. What started as a search for lightness turned into a fascinating, often excruciating exploration of what happens when improv meets uncertainty, nervous systems, and a whole lot of silence. This is part analysis, part rant, and part love letter to the art of play. I share what I learned a...

Perhaps perfectionism’s just a quirk in your life, you’re not even sure what it is, or what it has to do with you - then this episode is for you. I make the case for why it’s worth getting curious about perfectionism—not just as a personality trait or habit, but as a powerful, often hidden force shaping how you feel, work, relate, and live. You don’t have to call yourself a perfectionist to benefi...

In this episode, I explore something you could call your play love language - the idea that each of us has a particular way we enjoy playing, even if we think we’re “not a playful person.” I often meet people who say they don’t know how to play or forgot, or that they’ve never really felt playful. So I wanted to take a closer look: What is play, really? How do we find our way into it without press...

In this episode, I talk about why letting go can feel almost impossible - especially for perfectionists. Not because we don’t want to relax, but because our whole system has been trained to hold on, grip tighter, and stay in control. I explore how this contraction shows up in the smallest places: in how we walk, speak, think, write, and relate. It’s not just a behaviour - it’s a survival strategy....

If there’s one thing humans resist, it’s not knowing - stepping into a void of uncertainty (a.k.a being alive). In this episode, I explore our very human relationship with the unknown. I reflect on how your mind instinctively scrambles to make meaning when we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory - and how that effort to “work it out” can sometimes get in the way of effectively navigating what un...

In this episode, I explore a condition I call Seriousness Fatigue™ - a surprisingly common but under-diagnosed affliction affecting grown-ups everywhere. Symptoms include: chronic joylessness, relentless productivity, and a general heaviness that makes life feel like a spreadsheet. It’s a playful diagnosis, but a real experience. I look at how fun deficit disorder (FDD) links to perfectionism, men...

If you’re a regular listener, you’ll know Laurie (my dog) was a robust presence in my life, and our relationship was both loving and incredibly challenging. It wasn’t simple. It stretched me, frustrated me, entertained me, taught me. Living with him, and later rehoming him, pushed me to my limits - but that was only the beginning of the journey. I had no idea what would happen next… This is me sha...

Ever questioned your trust in yourself or doubted your capacity to do brave things? Ever felt weak or ashamed because of that? In this episode I share reflections from periods of my life when I’ve felt raw, alone and unsupported - when I had to rebuild trust with myself as a matter of self-preservation. And what I’ve discovered is that self-trust doesn’t come from pushing through, ‘man-ing-up’, or...

Modern life really isn’t set up for being slow and still. It can feel uncomfortable, even pointless. Yet beyond the resistance, I’ve been discovering something tender, alive and a source of great relief. This episode is me sharing that process with you. In this episode, I talk about something very simple - but not always easy: sitting still and being with myself. No fixing, no doing, just being wi...

Here I’m exploring the terrain of desire - not the surface-level kind, but the deep, bodily knowing of what you truly want and need. Speaking from a clearing in the woods, I reflect on the difference between external striving and inner attunement, and how perfectionism can cut us off from our own instincts. This is a meditation on listening, gently, to the signals in your body, the ache of unmet n...

Join me for walk in the Austrian Alps, reflecting on a question few of us ever dare to ask, let alone answer: “How do you want to spend your time on Earth?” From the beauty of retreat to the discomfort of liminal space, I explore the tension between desire and guilt, perfectionism and possibility. Expect honest musings, playful techniques (like divergent thinking and ‘sensing’ into your response),...

What does wild swimming in an alpine lake have to do with improvisation? Everything, it turns out. In this episode, I tell the story of standing on the edge of a glacial lake in Austria, feeling the pull of aliveness and the grip of fear, all at once. I notice how familiar the pattern is: the hesitation, the mental noise, the search for the “right” way in. Just like improv. This is honest reflecti...

Some Perfectionists think they’re pretty easy-going. They don’t make a fuss. They go with the flow. Or do they? In this episode, I explore the subtle difference between genuinely flowing with life and quietly complying with it. If you’ve ever mistaken your ability to ‘just get on with things’ as calmness, this one’s for you. I unpack the hidden self-abandonment that can sit under so-called flexibi...

Ever wondered why you’re so hard on yourself? In this episode, I share the story of how I became a Perfectionist - from the early signs I didn’t have a name for, to the moment it all clicked, and the ways it’s shaped every part of my life. Career, creativity, relationships, rest… nothing has escaped its grip. I talk about what I’ve learned along the way, how my understanding of Perfectionism has d...