Below Freezing

Would you rather have sex or boost cars? Well, when you enter the world of the Nicolas Cage film “Gone in 60 Seconds”, you may get to do both! Join the St. Johns as they discuss the multiple Academy Award winning actors in this film, car crushing, and whether or not the driving scenes are good. Can you finish this podcast in 60 seconds? I mean, I hope not…but you never know… You can find us at the...

What happens when you combine a “monkey’s paw” story with a sexy/sax dad who dumpster dives, Ohio rich families, and Jerry O’Connell? Well…of course what you get is the 2017 horror gem “Wish Upon”. Join the St. Johns as they welcome Grant (NOT Joey) who brought along this film with him – they leave no stone unturned: personal stories about garbage disposals, smegma, throwing wantons at people’s fa...

THAT’S IT – IT’S OVER – WE’RE LEAVING FORKS, WA AND THE CULLENS IN THE DUST!!! We can finally part ways from Bella and leave the Team Jacob or Team Edward feud behind us because we have concluded the saga with “Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2”. Join the St. Johns as they discuss crazy short timelines, the bulls**t ending of this film, and MY OH MY MICHAEL SHEEN’S LAUGH! We also decide to rank the...

Pull out your cosmic key and say goodbye to Eternia because this week the St. Johns pick up Joey R (from every movie podcast ever!) to discuss the seminal 1987 cartoon-to-live action phenomenon “Masters of the Universe”. Join us as we talk about bad swordplay, good journeys, Cannon films, and everything wrong with Gwildor. We have the power…but do you??? You can find us at the following: Email: be...

We’re back for more vampire/werewolf action as we begin the slow descent of the Twilight Saga with “Breaking Dawn, Part 1”. Join the St. Johns as they play “Twice Removed Kevin Bacon”, talk about post-high school nuptials, and unsexual chess. Also, non-glistening vampires, talking wolves, and embarrassing first names – is there anything this movie doesn’t have? You can find us at the following: Em...

Racecar beds, dead cats, and Dance Dance Revolution – what do all of these things have in common? Well light up that joint and we’ll tell you: all three of these feature in the 2006 Adam Sandler-adjacent stoner comedy “Grandma’s Boy”. Join St. Johns and guest Andrew Corns of The Revisionist Almanac as they breakdown the highlights from this movie: from karaoke parties to robot voices to Nick Sward...

Our tugboat crew from “Ghost Ship” dropped the St. Johns off back in Forks to continue our journey with Bella and the Cullens (what a sick band name, by the way) as we dive into the third film of our saga – Twilight: Eclipse. Join us as we the discuss the ever-evolving love triangle, pointless side tangents, and is it possible to be “Team Dad” in this movie? You can find us at the following: Email...

You ever see a mass ship decapitation? Well…if you haven’t and are curious, then you GOTTA check out the horror flick from 2002 – “Ghost Ship”. Join the St. Johns as they welcome Britt (co-host of 1001 by 1) as they discuss ghost tackles, ghost f***ing, the wrestling match that is Mudvayne vs. The Arctic Warrior, and just what it means to be tugboat strong. Also, are there any rules to this movie?...

We transport away from Bedrock back to Forks, WA and the Twilight Saga continues with “New Moon”. Join the St. Johns as they discuss unanswered emails, intense papercuts, “Face Punch”, and Mel’s love of Jacob (and all animals???). Also, Elle Fanning relevancy and Owl City’s one hit wonder? YES – this is ALL discussed. You can find us at the following: Email: belowfreezingpodcast@gmail.com Twitter:...

YABBA-DABBA-DO! This week, the St. Johns use their feet to slam on the brakes and pick up Liz on their way to Bedrock to discuss the 1994 family classic “The Flintstones”. Join in as we discuss all of the puns, the overqualified action writer attached to the film, and our youth. Also, do YOU think Barney was a sweet lover to Betty? Tune in to hear our thoughts! You can find us at the following: Em...

We are back with a new season, new format, and new franchise! That’s right – Mel won this battle (let’s be real, she always does) and this year the St. Johns are tackling another vampiric franchise, but this it is set in there old stomping grounds of Washington as they cover the Twilight saga. Join in as they cover how one shines bright like a diamond, minor league baseball, and if fangs are essen...

We stayed in 2004 but amped up the insanity for this Christmas gem. The St. Johns are joined by Kieran B. from Best Picture Cast and Myke from CineMusts to discuss the Chazz Palminteri directed “Noel”. Come along this journey in Montreal (I mean…New York) as we discuss the uber jealousy of Paul Walker, the super sadness of Susan Sarandon, and ALAN ARKIN JUST GOING FOR IT!!! All of this and the str...

We’re celebrating the holidays this year, but we can’t just do it with one Christmas. Nope – this year we got to do it right, so the St. Johns are delving into the world of Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn with the quad-fun hit “Four Christmases”. Join us as we discuss divorced holiday festivities, on-set tensions, and just what a fun romp this flick is! You can find us at the following: Email:...

WE DID IT!!! 100 EPISODES!!! To celebrate(?) we discuss the Tim Burton directed/Mark Wahlberg led remake of “Planet of the Apes”. Join the St. Johns and they discuss their obvious favorite Tim Burton classics, who was almost in this film, and the big question: is Mark Wahlberg our best bad actor??? PLUS – we end by going through all our seasons and talking about the best of the best and the worst...

Goddammit…we did not want to do this to you. Trust us, this is not about YOU – this is about US. As promised (for some stupid reason), we bring you the exciting (maybe), gratuitous (ABSOLUTELY) conclusion to Rob Zombie’s version of the Michael Myers saga – “Halloween II”. Join the St. Johns as they discuss Oscar winners who use their names in the film, the dirtiest house in the world, and “Uncle M...

John Carpenter has made some of the most iconic& horrific films of all time – so it wouldn’t be an episode of Below Freezing if we did discuss his last (and quite possibly least successful) film: “Ghosts of Mars”. Join the St. Johns as they discuss the matriarchy, viscous red wines, and really bad visual effects. Also, did we drop the name “Big Daddy Mars”? You bet your Martian ass we did! You...

If we say “Michael Myers”, is the first thing you think of “Rob Zombie”? “No!” you say? Well, then you are probably in the right spot because we are talking about the 2007 remake “Halloween”. Join the St. Johns as we discuss stereotypical “white trash” families, future podcasts ripping on hypothetical future films we make, and just how much better the OG is. Also, there are some supporting actors...

We are starting our spooky season off with a…not-spooky movie. Is it a drama? Is it a comedy? IS IT GOOD? We are of course talking about the Sandra Bullock-Nicole Kidman led “Practical Magic”. Boy howdy, join the St. Johns as they discuss Faith Hill, love potions, awesome aunts, and bad magic. Also, the funniest death ever in a movie??? All this and more as MELISSA leads this episode and brings Jo...

YOU ARE READING THIS CORRECTLY – WE ARE COVERING THE PAUL VERHOEVEN MASTERPIECE “SHOWGIRLS”. Join the St. Johns as they take opposite points of view on Elizabeth Berkley’s performance, discuss the specificity of big budget Las Vegas shows, and ask the big question: is this movie sexy? We also talk about the physical skill on display throughout the film and who gets the worst treatment in the film....

The St. Johns are back and they are back with a rage that cannot be contained! That’s right – we are talking about the 2020 version of “The Grudge”. Join Adam and Melissa as they discuss all things personal and professional: Where the f**k has Adam been? Where is Sarah Michelle Gellar? What is 1st base? These are the important questions you have been missing out on – so tune in to learn a lot abou...

What happens when a good script is directed by the wrong person? What happens when a story about a tragic event surrounding a woman is exclusively told by men? Welp…in this case you get the 1999 military thriller “The General’s Daughter” starring John Travolta and Madeline Stowe. Trigger warning ahead of listening as we will be discussing rape and sexual violence. And while the St. Johns do have a...

Notes to self, poorly-aged comedy, and some great comedy legends: all this and more as the St. Johns break down the Bob Saget directed “Dirty Work”. Join Adam and Melissa as they give you a list of great films you should check out, find out who Melissa is attracted to, and Adam gets roundly mocked. Melissa had never seen this before, but we hope you check it out and give it a listen. You can find...

Quite possibly the most known and beloved film we’ve covered to date, this week the St. Johns (and we do mean ALL the St. Johns) “bangarang” and think happy thoughts as they discuss the Spielberg family gem “Hook”. Adam and Melissa talk all the important things: why parents hate their children, bad plane protocols, and the wonderful back-and-forth between Dustin Hoffman & Bob Hoskins. Also, th...

The St. Johns celebrate(?) the end of the Sharknado franchise by jumping into…a franchise of a different sort (and by that, we mean video game franchise). This time around we break down the Michael Fassbender, action-adventure flick “Assassin’s Creed”. Not the usual watch for us, we talk about Fassbender’s career, whether or not we like the visual effects vs. the practical stunt work, and the awkw...

WE DID IT – WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THE SHARKNADO FRANCHISE!!! The St. Johns bring on previous host Kieran B. (host of the Best Picture Cast) to discuss “The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time”. Join the crew as they run through all of the cameos, Fin’s hypocrisy towards Nova, and the terrible future that is “Planet of the Aprils”. This journey is over, but the Below Freezing journey has just begun…...