Beautifully Complex

The parenting long game is all about putting the right mindset and strategies in play so that kids can succeed and thrive. As parents, we often spend a lot of time in the “yuk,” overwhelmed by what’s hard and negative. And we’re wired to focus on the negative as a means of protection.  However, to parent with the long game, Rachel Bailey tells us that we have to shift from judgment to understandin...

It can be hard for our neurodivergent kids to find their path into adulthood. They often don’t yet know what they’re interested in pursuing long term, even after graduating from high school. The key is to support kids, teens, and young adults in exploring their interests, as actor and puppeteer David Bizarro illustrates as he shares his story with us. You’ll gain insights on the ADHD brain and tha...

Low demand parenting doesn’t mean that we dismiss all expectations of a child and let them do whatever they want. Instead, low demand parenting means dropping demands and reducing expectations in order to meet kids with radical acceptance. AS Amanda Diekman explains in this episode, the purpose of the low demand life is to find ease and joy. But how exactly do you shift from the high demand parent...

The challenge of raising a child with differences in a mostly intolerant world is very real. There’s both joy and heartache, as Kaylor Taylor illustrates in her book, “Canaries Among Us.” At stake in this quest to honor our kids’ individuality, is the mental and emotional health of an ever-growing population of neurodivergent children.  In this episode, Kayla and I discuss the injurious nature of...

“A brain that feels safe will not get stuck.” That’s how Britt Frank, author of “The Science of Stuck,” explains the connection between a sense of psychological safety and being stuck. In this episode, she not only shares that understanding of why we get stuck, but she outlines her step-by-step process to move through stuckness, something we’re all too often trying to help our neurodivergent kids...

We’re addressing a listener question about letting kids fail in this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast. When parents say, “Let kids fail,” they usually mean revoking all of the help and support they were providing and letting the kid handle it on their own, even if that means letting them fail (often knowing it means that a neurodivergent kid will fail).  Sarah Wayland, Ph. D. and I don’t...

The transition into college and then out in the “real world” are challenging enough, but can be even more daunting and complex when you have ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety. Parents want to help their kids succeed and thrive but are no longer able to step in to help in the ways they had while their child was under age 18.  In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Alex Gilbert, who h...

Did you know that only about 10 percent of U.S. high school students get 9-10 hours of sleep a night, the amount required for healthy sleep at that age? Teens who aren’t sleeping enough don’t just walk around groggy. A lack of healthy sleep negatively impacts mental health, cognitive function, reactivity, emotional regulation, immune function, and relationships.  Clearly, adequate sleep is importa...

In celebration of the 200th episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I have my son Luke back on the show. It’s been 14 years since his first diagnosis of ADHD, and we’ve both learned a lot of lessons along the way. In this episode, Luke and I each share our top 5 lessons learned — my lessons in parenting a neruodivergent child and his lessons in being a neurodivergent individual. The episode st...

There’s a cultural misconception that self-care is treating yourself to something, like a spa day or a weekend away with friends. While that is a type of self-care, it doesn’t sustain you through the day-to-day like internal self-care does, managing our stress, our mindset, and our thoughts and emotions.  Don’t discount internal self-care as “fluff” — I can personally attest that it’s life-changin...

It can be difficult to secure accommodations and services for your child at school. It requires that many people agree on a shared vision and how to make that student’s vision for their education a reality through necessary support. Getting everyone on the same page is key, along with focusing on a few priorities in the here and now.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Beth Li...

Did you know that we are reactive by nature? That’s right! Our brains are wired to respond in kind for protection. But responding in kind — like yelling at your child after they yelled at you — is rarely needed in today’s modern world. And it’s never helpful, which is why we need to reduce our reactivity with our kids and parent from a place of calm intention.  My guest on this episode of the Beau...

Recent data shows us that anxiety and depression have spiked tremendously in kids since the pandemic. Kids are struggling more than ever and they need our help (adults too, by the way). But what does that help look like?   In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, psychologist and author of several books on anxiety and depression, Dr. Gregory Jantz explains the signs of anxiety and depre...

The difference between supporting a child and enabling a child is often a very fine line when you’re talking about neurodivergent kids, who need extra support. Plus, busy, overwhelmed parents often default to enabling because it’s just easier to do it yourself a lot of the time and you’re on auto-pilot in survival mode yourself. So how do you parent more intentionally and as a supporter?   In this...

I truly believe that we all have greatness within us. Each and every one of us. My guest for this episode, Cathay Domoney, believes this wholeheartedly as well, and it’s one of the core tenets of her work with children and families. Listen in as Cathy shares her process to help kids discover their own individual greatness. We talk about the mindset and “pure filter of love and curiosity” required...

Parenting is hard. Parenting kids in this generation is even harder. Our kids today have a lot more potential pitfalls — and risks — to navigate with the internet and social media. And we parents have that whole additional world of risk to help our kids navigate. It’s vast, it’s tricky, and it’s scary. In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m talking with Titania Jordan with Bark Te...

Are you pressuring your child? You may not realize when you’re adding pressure, but you are very likely doing it often and not recognizing it. Neurodivergent kids don’t do well under pressure. It’s dysregulating and actually makes them less capable of actually doing the thing you’re pressuring them to do.  In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I outline how we pressure our kids, what...

When you don’t have ADHD yourself, it’s really how to know how your child with ADHD thinks and feels. Even if you do have ADHD too, the experience is different for each individual with ADHD, meaning it’s different for your child than it was and is for you. Yet, it’s important for parents to know what life is like for your kids so we can help them thrive. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podca...

If there’s one tool we all need for life in this world — kids and parents — it’s calming techniques. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast I explain the role of the vagus nerve and our autonomic nervous system in getting us activated and feeling unsafe, and then list more than 20 tools and techniques to use for calming yourself or your child, by stimulating the vagus nerve to calm the nerv...

Seeing that ADHD and autism can be genetic, it stands to reason that there are many neurodivergent parents raising neurodivergent kids. Terry Matlen is one of them, but she’s also an expert on ADHD, especially in women. In this episode, Terry shares the feelings of guilt and inadequacy she felt raising her kids, because she struggled with many of the daily tasks due to her ADHD. She also offers so...

One in five children has a learning disability or attention issue that causes school struggles. In the U.S. alone, that’s approximately 56.6 million students (Educationdata.org). And yet, we continue with an educational system that is solely focused on conformity and compliance. It is built for your average student with little consideration for those that can’t succeed in that system, even though...

Most of our systems that involve children are designed on the compliance model — that’s true in parenting and educating. We’ve leaned on compliance in our educational system since the 1800s, and it’s been part of our parenting culture for centuries. And yet, neuroscience has now taught us that there’s a monumentally better way. Through research we know that our neurobiology is a driving force in b...

Most parents look forward to the start of a new school year. Their kids no longer need to be entertained all day every day and they get a bit of a break. However, if you the parent of a neurodivergent kid who struggles in school, you probably dread the start of a new school year — I know I did.    In this episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I’m talking with educational therapists, Stephani...

The way we talk to our child matters. Not only does it become the little voice inside their heads and influence how they feel about themselves, but it can foster connection, build communication skills, and inspire confidence and resilience.  In this episode, Rebecca Rolland, Ed. D. shares her formula for Rich Talk and other strategies from her book, “The Art of Talking with Children: The Simple Ke...

Parents are human beings, nowhere near perfect. Often that means that we bring baggage from our childhood, our experiences, our own parents and let it color our parenting. We end up stuck on auto-pilot and often feel shame and blame when reflecting on tough parenting moments. Conscious parenting is about healing your own self so you can show up and be the parent you want to be for your kids. In th...