Basic Snitches

Chapter 24: Occlumency - sadly, Adam is not here this episode, but Dan brings the no pants energy! Editing Adam does make an appearance and Arthur Weasley is promoted to Qwen (Keng?) status 😁

Chapter 23: Christmas on the Closed Ward - Y'all, it's in the title 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 22: St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries - somehow, despite not being present in this chapter, we managed to get in several digs at everyone's least favorite pink hoe... We focus a lot more on the Weasleys in this chapter and continue to lament that the movie leaves out entirely too much. Lastly, we play an epic round of Oh, Ship and Jeff makes Basic Snitches history.

Chapter 21: The Eye of the Snake - We are loud. Hagrid is back from his sex holiday with Qwen Maxime. Giants need dentists too... Check out our new tiers on Patreon!!

Chapter 20: Hagrid's Tale - Giants are honestly just really big dumb angry babies. Hagrid and Maxime spent the last several months fucking and trying to win favor with the giant babies. Pink bitch continues to be the worst and we are over that K-word

Chapter 19: The Lion and the Serpent - Malfoy sucks... But also, Fred and George are bad brothers and terrible team players. Hermione and Luna are amazing and the pink bitch must die.

Dear reviewers: Stop being pretentious assholes! Signed, People who like romance novels and fantasy stories. This week we are joined by Tara's other co-hosts, AJ and Jen from Podcast in Death. We bring a PID favorite to Basic Snitches as we review the reviews (good AND bad) for the HP series.

Chapter 18: Dumbledore's Army - Important question.. why is it only one year olds that get smash cakes for their birthday? We are all Winky. We drink and we get sad... well at least Tara does... We all need a Room of Requirement...get on that, magical community!

Chapter 17: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four - Tara and Adam discuss their theories on Professor Binns then share their own strengths as students. Snape > Umbridge Also, apparently the gargoyles can talk.. and they are rude bitches. And Grubbly-Plank has officially reached Qwen status!!

Chapter 16: In the Hog's Head - ZACH SMIIIIIIIIITH!!!!! Also, please stop vanishing animals, thanks.

Chapter 15: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor  Tara comes up with more perfect names to call Pink bitch. Adam's computer screen is very bright. Surprise, Tara rants about how terrible Snape is. McG is the greatest. So, are you a  Tarot  bitch, or a  Tara  bitch?  A lot of love for Grubbly-Plank in this episode ❤

HAPPY SNITCHMAS, BITCHES! or whatever you celebrate or just for being you Enjoy!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Chapter 14: Percy and Padfoot- Cho is great. Hedwig is great. Ron is really great. Percy sucks... ...but not as much as Umbridge...

Chapter 13: Detention With Dolores - So basically this chapter is all about torture, bad teachers and how great Ron is in this book. We cheer hard for Grubbly-Plank, even though we miss Hagrid, and we cheer even more for Ron for making the Quidditch team. We play Never Have I Ever and, to no one's surprise, Adam has never received detention in his life... 🙄

In this special episode we discuss all the ways Hogwarts would fail an OSHA inspection... If you've never thought about it before, we provide you with a lengthy list of proof that Hogwarts is trying to kill you.

Chapter 12: Professor Umbridge - Chinese food is on its way and we're adding liquor to our alcohol... This podcast was almost called "Have a Biscuit, Potter" after McG's amazing line in this chapter. We complain about Harry's least favorite teachers (who are coincidentally Tara and Adam's least favorite teachers...), Bentley attempts to steal Tara's car and Adam teaches us about Moonstone. Oh..and...

Chapter 11: The Sorting Hat's New Song - We made it to the start of term feast!!! The Sorting Hat has upped its game this year. We complain about Pink Bitch, praise Neville, Ron and Hermione for being awesome, and gush over the perfection that is Imelda Staunton. Oh, Ship! We play a new game and Adam shares more witchey knowledge while comparing the 4 houses to the elements.

Chapter 10: Luna Lovegood - IT IS TIME ❤️ We finally get to meet Qwen Luna and we are so happy! We play the worst game ever and Brian ana Tara eat breakfast while Bentley tries to steal Brian's shirt.

Chapter 9: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley - Just so everyone is aware, Chapter 8 is very important to Tara... Shout-out to Ashley... basically because we love her. Percy sucks. Fudge sucks. Kreacher is rude.

Chapter 8: The Hearing - Pink Bitch sighting!!! We got the egg rolls and Dumble's got the flourish. Madam Bones is Qwen and Fudgepacker is still the worst.

Chapter 7: The Ministry of Magic- Adam's life is filled with entirely too many meetings. Zoom recordings are not ideal. Being a mom is not for either of us. Perkins and Madame Bones are heroes. Our game this episode fails hard but we give the movie a pass.

Welcome to our first special episode of the season! Joining us are Stephanie and Peggy, who are two of our favorite people, even though they've never read our favorite book series... anyway, we discuss the first two movies of the series and drink margarita wine...

Chapter 6: The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black - They clean the house. 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 5: The Order of the Phoenix - Adam knows French. Tara knows French...kinda. Anyway, it's dinner time and Fred and George are immature (but fun) and Mundungus just sucks... (we really hate this guy) we love Tonks....then Harry asks the million dollar question - "So, how's my guy Voldy doin'? Anyone know what he's up to these days?" Things get intense between Molly and Sirius and all the chi...

Chapter 4: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - Angsty Harry is here! But also, Ron and Hermione are AMAZING friends and they let Harry take out his frustration on them. So Grimmauld Place is dark AF, and a bit creepy, so naturally, Adam wants to live there. Except for the part where Mrs. Black just hangs behind a curtain waiting to be racist... Anyway, we're excited to spend more time with Ginny in t...