The Luke and Pete Show

On another sweltering day in the UK, Luke and Pete’s weather and air conditioning chat prompts a wider discussion about two-tier systems for the have and have-nots in society more generally, plus some tales of burglary.  Elsewhere, we return to the subject of war to learn about the most bonkers soldier ever and American Civil War pensions. Finally, it’s listener correspondence time once again...

After a quick Mick Jagger impression, Pete struggles to remember the name of 2026’s 'it girl' and Luke is forced to come to terms with the fact that cultural life is passing him by. He hasn’t even heard of the meme featured on Pete’s new T-shirt. Also on today’s show: lookalikes, the case for tribute acts and a big promise made to the Flat Earthers. Send us your latest stories, questions and comme...

Pete finds himself outnumbered in his fight against the accusation that he’s a point-scorer and Luke takes the opportunity to explain his lateness to the second Football Ramble World Cup Watch Party. Conversation then turns (inevitably) to smelly capsule hotels and submarine warfare. Finally, it’s time for a battery offering, an email about advanced tyre technology and news of an Australian mouse...

Luke recently enlisted Anthropic’s Claude to draw him a picture and the result was truly awful. He freely admits he’s a man out of time and doesn’t know how to use this stuff. Remaining on a similar path, it’s time for a chat about the miserable phenomenon of AI-generated music and “art” more generally. Plus, which so-called stand-up comedian has got Pete’s dander up this fine Monday? Send us your...

Luke’s advising Pete to proceed with caution vis à vis chlorinating his own paddling pool, but Mr Donaldson insists it’s all under control. It’s the rubble and cement-based tasks you have to worry about. In other news, Luke’s attempt to support the local produce market left him sorely disappointed and Pete may well have fallen victim to a Del Boy style scam over some posh honey. Plus, we hear all...

Pete’s been working on a number for a musical about the life and times of Richard Keys, probably not coming to a theatre near you any time soon. But don’t be disheartened, because today’s episode provides some big questions to entertain and delight. Why don’t little boys wear barrels anymore? Can clogs actually be comfortable? Is being 45 minutes late better than being 5 minutes late? Finally, we’...

At the onsen, it is customary to walk around with your old lad out. Pete, on his recent trip to Japan, followed said custom.  On an entirely different note, we return to the subject of bad podcasting, which naturally leads to a chat about Chekhov’s gun and Occam’s razor. Finally, we learn more about Luke and Pete's respective experiences with road rage, plus some listener correspondence. Send...

Pete’s come down with a wicked case of World Cup Fever, exacerbated by the rediscovery of his ceremonial Kevin Keegan rug that will surely have a part to play in this year’s tournament. Just keep it away from electronics.  Luke, meanwhile, has been to see Boyzone deliver two hours of consummate professionalism at the Emirates. Also present was Brian McFadden who, as Pete knows first-hand, is...

Normal people are being price-gouged for paddling pools while conspiracy theorists insist that sun cream is population control. Summer is well and truly here. Meanwhile, the White House is tweeting about the anniversary of a gorilla’s untimely death and appears to be attaching itself to obscure Scottish electronic music. It begs the question: do right-wingers understand art? After that debate, it’...

Ok you sonuvab***h, it’s time for half an hour of nonsense. Pete’s bringing tripe, Panera Bread and salty butter to the table. And, in exciting news, Luke’s been in Pete’s neck of the woods to play some golf with a certain Big Man. The course’s proximity to Southend airport prompts some aviation chat. Shoutout to British Airways and their exemplary safety record. Send us your latest stories, quest...

The Football Ramble World Cup Watch Parties rapidly approach and there’s a lot to be excited about, not least access to toilets and cold pints of My Fizzy Aunt. Elsewhere on today’s episode, discussion of the World’s Most Sensitive Man-Baby and the attempts on his life, more Donaldson lookalikes, and the effects of fentanyl. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpe...

Luke’s been to a conference and has discovered that there are companies producing thousands of 100% AI-generated podcast episodes each and every week. It’s the Wild West out there. But not here. The robots can never replace Mr Moore and Mr Donaldson. Also on the agenda this fine Monday morning: tales from the tip and the Facebook algorithm’s love for a certain British gangster film. Send us your l...

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete get into the weeds of the British far-right and discuss the bizarrely disparate causes being represented at Tommy Robinson’s marches and the appalling standard of music on offer for his followers. There’s also a couple of items of listener correspondence to attend to. First trains, then haunted dolls. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello...

Luke’s been on the health supplements and Pete’s feeling gassy on account of his mānuka honey and apple cider vinegar consumption. Maybe that’s why he reckons his stink would save him from nineteenth-century naval press-ganging. Elsewhere, conversation turns to Luke’s new house and the adjustments needed, but not before Pete shares a truly horrendous nugget of information (?) about the bums of ter...

Last episode’s discussion about performative art consumption continues. Now it’s time to analyse blokes in their 20s walking around with a Penguin classic under their wing. They’ve got ulterior motives, Luke reckons. Also on the table today: clothing and confidence, the brilliance of Danny Kelly and some illuminating listener correspondence about drones. Send us your latest stories, questions and...

Luke and Pete check in on the state of the nation to find Starmer being deeply unserious while the King’s having to suck up to Trump. On a cheerier note, Luke’s been to a musical about Céline Dion followed by afternoon tea at the Ritz. Get your jackets on. Plus, math rock and performative music enjoyment are under the microscope. And if you’re a harpist, be sure to get in touch. Send us your lates...

Sometimes wrestlers hang out with Welsh nans and sometimes (quite often) American rockstars become really right-wing. In other news, Sabastian Sawe recently became the first person to run a sub-two hour marathon in race conditions and even Pete is impressed. Luke’s on hand to explain exactly how fast that is. Plus, both Mr Moore and Mr Donaldson have some family stories to tell, and that’s before...

GB News continues to evade toothless regulatory bodies and Pete’s dad continues to tune in. It turns out Luke’s met plenty of the presenters, many of whom are, unsurprisingly, “characters”. Elsewhere, a dinghy-based story from Luke gives way to a discussion about desert islands, both real and imagined. Pete’s got it all worked out for a life of isolation. Send us your latest stories, questions and...

Pete’s DIY mission continues and it’s all getting a bit treacherous. He’s discovered some mould and keeps getting electric shocks off his drill. And, to add insult to injury, he’s discovered his old school reports. Luke’s reports, on the other hand, tended not to make it to their destination. Plus, we’ve got plenty of listener correspondence and a story about Mr Bruce Springsteen. Send us your lat...

Luke’s off to the BFI (Boxing Face Institute) and Pete might have recently participated in the worst conversation to have ever happened. At least Sammy the dog is no longer rubbing his balls on Pete’s head. Count your blessings. Plus, a look back at Radio 6 Music and pompous DJs, parking machines in the middle of nowhere and, lo and behold, the transparency of Russell Brand’s grift has reached new...

The Imperial War Museum’s got a WWI-era puppet and it’s brought up some terrifying memories for Luke. Maybe ARC Raiders would take his mind off it if it hadn’t gone to pot recently. Today, a trip down memory lane is in order as Luke and Pete reminisce about the incredibly hard video games of the past and the ways in which you used to be able to just get away with stuff. Luke had a few tricks up hi...

It’s nearly Sir David Attenborough’s 100th birthday but Pete isn’t especially looking forward to the celebrations. He is, however, excited for a certain upcoming brewery-based World Cup event. As is Luke. Elsewhere on today’s show we’ve got discussion concerning antihistamines and tattoos, some fascinating listener correspondence re: kidney transplants and a return to the wonderful world of what3w...

Pete went to Las Vegas for WrestleMania and disgraced himself by not drinking or gambling enough. He got a hat, though. Swings and roundabouts. Meanwhile, the balustrade saga continues. Pete reckons he’s at least earned the right to have a go at this project and we promise to keep you posted on his progress. Plus, Luke’s got beef with certain musical solos and overlong albums. Looking at you, Tupa...

New Lime bikes are being rolled out! Big news for a man (Luke) who’s racked up an incredible number of kilometres on the current ones. There’s also some information coming out of Major League Baseball which brings to mind Pete’s famous “infant chip bowl helmet” idea. For newer listeners, those words will be explained. Finally, Luke reads aloud a letter written by a young Peter to his parents. What...

Mr Donaldson's about to turn 45 and frankly Luke is shocked he made it this far. Before the big day, though, he’s off to WrestleMania in Vegas. Fingers crossed he runs into Kash Patel. Today’s show is an animal-heavy one, as Luke and Pete exchange stories about well-endowed donkeys and investigate recent happenings surrounding the world’s oldest land animal, Jonathan the Tortoise. The late, great...