Faithwalking English

In this episode, Ken wraps up his series on polarization and the question of how we manage our anxiety so as not to be polarizers. He points out that Jesus was regularly invited to polarize and consistently resisted. "When we make enemies of fellow human beings," Ken states, "we are out of alignment with Jesus's way." He invites his listeners to reflect on the story of the Good Samaritan — and in...

In this episode Ken reminds his listeners of the importance of learning to be patient with ourselves as we go through the process of growing in emotional maturity. It's in the practice — slowly but surely — that we grow in emotional maturity day by day. We have to keep pushing forward with that practice. Ken then shares a personal story of a situation in which he recognized his own anxiety and...

In this episode, Ken continues unpacking the six characteristics of a "safe person" and how we can become a safer presence for others. This week he focuses on the competency of curiosity. To be a safe person, we must stay curious. Developing curiosity about other people means approaching every conversation with a genuine desire to learn rather than to judge or to perform. Curiosity is a...

In this episode, Ken continues the conversation about becoming a safe person by discussing how to avoid relational triangles — or manage our anxiety when we find ourselves in one. Once again the tremendously insightful work of Ronald Richardson (this time in Couples in Conflict ) helps frame the discussion. Ken unpacks for listeners what a triangle is, how to recognize when we are triangling or fi...

Last week Ken told the group that to be a safe person we have to become less anxious. So in this episode Ken asks the group to share practices that help them become less anxious. Then he builds on these by providing practical guidance of his own — practices he has learned really help someone grow in their ability to be a less anxious presence. He divides these recommendations into three categories...

In this episode, Ken shares more wisdom from Ronald Richardson in "Polarization and the Healthier Church," this time on how to become a safe person in the midst of so much polarization. "To become a safe person," Ken states as he paraphrases Richardson, "you have to increasingly become less anxious." This is the first of six really helpful, really practical pointers K...

In this episode, Ken speaks with Renee' Jelsma, a pastor andlongtime Faithwalking leader, about her Faithwalking journey. Renee' lives in Holland, MI and is a Faithwalking adjunct facilitator, coach, and former Circle leader. In fact, she will be launching a FWF Module 1 next month! Renee' shares with Ken how Faithwalking has transformed her relationships—especially her marriage, her r...

In this episode, Ken continues his series on polarization. The best way not to polarize, he says, is to grow in our self-differentiation. And self-differentation is a direction we are moving in, not a destination we attain. In Ronald Richardson's book "Polarization and the Healthier Church," Richardson states, "Differentiation is primarily about your actions, not your words.&quo...

In this episode, Lou returns to last week's theme of living both in reality and hope as followers of Christ. Jesus gives us the ability to live in the world as it is, not the world as we wish it would be. Lou takes the group to the story of Jesus' temptation in the wilderness in John 14:25-31 and to words of Christ that offer perspective for living in this world. What we see in the world i...

In this episode, Lou shares a Substack post with the group by Pastor Benjamin Cremer called "Life in the Weeds," which is about learning to live in both reality and hope. It reflects on the parable of the weeds in Matthew 13 and helps us widen our lens and see the world with the perspective that Jesus offers to us. "Notice that the farmer does not deny the existence of weeds" C...

In this episode, Ken continues to unpack the wisdom of Edwin Friedman in his book "A Failure of Nerve." This week he shared Friedman's list of ten characteristics of less-mature and troublesome people – who, Ken notes, always expect others to adapt to them rather than the other way around. Just to share a couple here, one of these characteristics is that these people "tend to id...

In this episode Ken shares wisdom about the consequences of a lack of self-regulation from Edwin Friedman and his book "A Failure of Nerve." Friedman writes about the impact not only on individual relationships but also on organizations, stating that organizations lacking self-regulation will be "perpetually invading the space of their neighbors." He says that organisms like th...

In this episode Ken provides a framework of the components of emotional maturity, starting by elucidating what we mean by "self" to help the group and listeners better understand the concept of self-differentiation. As we grow in our emotional maturity, the self we "own" will become more and more differentiated while also staying connected to other "selves." Ken empha...

In this episode, Lou Huesmann challenges us to consider who we are becoming and identify where we are in the unfolding narrative of our lives. He reflects on how we know where we are and asks what framework we are using to answer this question -- one we have thoughtfully considered and chosen, or one we have received from our society, our culture, our family, our friends, or our church? Lou shares...

In this episode Ken Shuman continues his series on polarization. He shares a quote from Ronald Richardson ( Polarization and the Healthier Church ) that "a differentiated person is one who can maintain his or her emotional objectivity while others are polarizing." Feelings don't run these people's lives; they don't let emotions dictate their judgment or actions. Ken shares a...

In this episode Ken continues the conversation on polarization. Intense polarization is the result of low levels of emotional maturity, he says, and according to Ronald Richardson, progress in society depends on people achieving a higher level of self-differentiation [another way of saying "emotional maturity"]." "If we want to change the world," he states, "we have t...

In this episode Ken talks about Henry Cloud's book "Necessary Endings" and specifically Dr. Cloud's assertion that there are three kinds of people - wise, foolish, and evil. Ken shares the characteristics of each type of person according to Dr. Cloud, then transitions to discussing where Dr. Cloud's three kinds of people would be on the scale of emotional maturity. He leaves...

In this episode of Faithwalking Stories, Ken speaks with Marcos Leon, Faithwalking's Spanish Program Team Leader, about his Faithwalking journey both personally and as a member of our staff. A native of Ecuador, Marcos has been living in the US for more than 20 years and has been a part of Faithwalking in a variety of roles since the very beginning. In addition to his Faithwalking work, Marcos...

In this episode, Lou Huesmann unpacks a Substack post by Richard Beck about the impact of mattering in mental well-being. He talks about two types of mattering - relational and existential, or cosmic . Lou shares from the post that existential mattering is "the more robust predictor of mental health....We need our value to be grounded in something more durable and consistent than the current...

In the latest episode in our series on polarization, Ken returns to the topic of triangling. "So when people get anxious," he says, "they move towards someone else...in hopes that the other person will be their advocate and will join their team and will think what they think, believe what they believe, and be against whatever they're against." This is how triangulationunfol...

In this episode, Ken talked about the role of triangling in the polarization process. He explained the concept of triangles in the context of relationships and how we can get sucked into them, becoming part of the polarization problem. Ken shared examples of triangling in scripture and showed how Jesus refused to be sucked into triangles. Ken then explained how to respond when others attempt to pu...

In this episode, Ken begins by recapping some of what heshared last week and the assignment he gave the group. He said that success is not determined by how others respond to us, but by whether we show up as the person we want to be, based on our best thinking. Emotional maturity is the growing capacity to consistently live in alignment with who we want to be. Rather than reacting out of anxiety t...

In this episode, Ken continues the conversation aboutpolarization, beginning by stating that we don't have a knowledge problem; we have a reactivity problem. He explains that anxiety is contagious within groups, and that even one person who can regulate their anxiety can positivelyinfluence the entire system. By becoming less reactive, we help bring greater calm to anxious situations in which...

In this episode, Ken returns to the topic of polarization. He suggests that differences between people are not the core issue; rather, it is the level of anxiety surrounding those differences that fuels polarization. He emphasizes theimportance of recognizing our own reactivity and growing in self-regulation. This begins with asking, How can I be less threatened by differences and less reactive to...

In this episode, Ken speaks with Danae Labocki about her journey with Faithwalking. Danae is the president of Immix, the marketing firm Faithwalking partners with, and is a Faithwalker herself. She lives in Akron, Ohio, where Immix is based, with her family. Danae shares how profoundly Faithwalking has shaped her life—impacting her marriage, her relationships with her young adult children, and the...