Make Your Damn Bed

This is a re-release. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make You...

This episode is a re-release. "This is the economy now. Not a distribution of opportunity. A redistribution of friction. But friction isn’t the enemy!!!! It’s information. It tells us where things are straining and where care is needed and where attention should go. And it's not all bad news. Because friction is also where new systems can emerge . Every broken interface, every overloaded professor...

In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it.  centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective  Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Aba...

Similarly to the Pixar movie, INSIDE OUT, where her emotions are portrayed as totally different characters that experience different experiences and roles and access different memories. In IFS therapy, they refer to these characters as parts. A majority of your parts will take on protective roles, he uses the example of managers and firefighters, but other parts carry pain or trauma from past expe...

 the challenge of the unknown > the disappoint of the familiar  you have to change some variables if you're trying a new experiment Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle.  Leverage your effort into lon...

If you look for the beauty in the world, you will see it in everything. The light, the sounds, the smells, the feelings. If you look for the horrors, you’ll see it in everything, too. Focus on the light so you can create and become more of it.  Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, y...

Travel reminds you that this ISN'T the only possibility. There are other lives available to you. You CAN do things differently. The world is NOT cold, just because the corrupt politicians are. SOURCE: https://college.taylors.edu.my/en/student-life/news/2025/the-neuroscience-of-travel-how-exploring-new-places-rewires-your-brain. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get...

Lasting motivation requires three conditions: A sense of competence A sense of relatedness A sense of autonomy or the felt experience that your actions are genuinely your own But there is a difference between consultative decision-making and approval-dependent motivation. In the first, you gather input and then decide, with the locus of commitment sitting inside you. In the second, the decision it...

Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there.  Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time.  Set FIRM boundaries.  Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms.  Clear + reset your space.  Reflect for future you.  Reflect on underlying needs that your choices are compensating for. Show yourself the care + empathy yo...

Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time. Set FIRM boundaries. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Clear + reset your space. Reflect for future you. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email...

We're trees, not billboards. Understand what YOUR seasons look and feel like, so you can recognize what season you're in and not try to push yourself to a different one, too early. Deante Kyle's Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@deante.kyle/video/7664265185548324126 Richard Siken 's quote. Psychology Today Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish-and-thrive/202602/how-can-patience-he...

It is really fucking hard to change your habits and your actions while believing everything you currently believe about yourself. It’s more effective in the long run to shift your ideas about your identity first, and allow the actions that align with that identity to support this identity shift. To live “like” the person you want to be, you first have to recognize your capability to do so. If I wa...

It takes time to get comfortable in unfamiliar frequencies, but once you do, you may find yourself more comfortable than you imagined you could be. Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams. Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding. Core questions to ask yourself: What's going on? What are you trying to address? is there...

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams. Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding. How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want: Identify your goal. (ideally experience based) Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions. Identify actions that w...

How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want PREVIEW: Identify your goal. (ideally experience based) Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions. Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards. Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with fricti...

If it’s not a matter of my physical location, or my circumstances, it comes down to it being a matter of direction.  “Simply beginning” is a great sentiment, and an effective practice when possible, but in my case, it’s often better in theory. Most days I don’t know where to begin, let alone how. So, when that happens I try to follow my curiosity. I let tiny cravings speak more loudly if they...

Because that’s the thing for me: the idea of almost everything scares me but the practice often leaves me room to surprise myself.  Anthony Bourdain said something like, “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park, enjoy the ride.” And I fuck with that heavy.  Like most people, I do better when I have something to look forward to, outside of my daily chores and needs and expectati...

I've been trying not to let myself identify with the pain but it's easier said than done. it's easier when you fill your time with so much good that there is less space for the painful patterns to persist. "if you're trying to love yourself, you already do. where do you think the trying comes from?" Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over o...

Our emotions are houseguests not permanent residents. I am the ocean. The Hannah Ro Writes Quote Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund an...

(re-release) If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling.  Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships? Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships? Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’v...

(rerelease) People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties.  I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into th...

Rejection feels brutal because society taught us our value is in being chosen. What if we deconstruct that premise, together? It's about relief, not romance. It's about validation, not love. "If no one is going to arrive and pick you, you make yourself impossible not to keep. You become useful." - Meredith THE SOURCE: https://aftertheclouds.substack.com/p/the-fantasy-of-being-chosen-and-how Read J...

Do you know what you'd want to eat next if there was nobody else involved in the decision making process? What would you do if you didn't have to please or consider anyone else? Olivia is Growing's Post: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliviaisgrowing/photo/7639965256235633934 Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional person...

Do you struggle to answer the question: "what do I want?" Do you tend to put other people's needs above your own? Do you think the only way to be loved is through being helpful? Constantly making choices that put other people's needs before your own that force us to abandon our own well-being can slowly erode our ability to understand what we want. It doesn't feel like self-abandonment. It feels l...

a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations. Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/ life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/ Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/ empathy without boundaries is dangerous and a form of self abandonment. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Suppo...