Make Your Damn Bed

My family has never been one to talk about death, we pretend it doesn't exist until it blindsides us and ruins our lives. But building this wall around the inevitable has created a feeling of deep fear around the entire subject. So, as I get older, and I am forced to face this reality more and more, I am beginning to realize that it's never been about my fear of "mortality" in and of itself, but m...

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” James Baldwin "Whatever goes up must come down." And here we are, at the center of the arc, trapped in the gaudiest, most valuable, and most improbable water wheel the world has ever seen. Everything now, we must assume, is in our hands; we have...

You cannot imagine what it would be like to be dead, because death is an absence of existence. There is, literally, nothing to imagine – because nothingness itself cannot be imagined. There is no perspective, no view from nothingness, nothing to which it can be approximated. So that is the first recommendation: realise that being dead isn’t an experience. Death itself isn’t really a  thing &n...

Read this today's original source, here . "When you’re overwhelmed with information, you don’t think deeply about it; you have to process it very quickly. So, you tend to process it through existing biases, and that encourages people to form groups in tension with other groups." - Superbloom: How Technologies of Connection Tear Us Apart  Nicholas Carr Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Bl...

If the internet is an AYCE buffet of unlimited, endless options, there’s bound to be items you find disgusting, that will make you physically ill. There’s also bound to be items you find delicious AND nourishing and can’t get enough of. But a majority of that buffet will be… fine.  It will be mediocre filler foods that you don’t remember eating at all. You may even fill yourself up on the “ju...

I accidentally ritualized something that is typically mundane, and that, in itself, is a magical and empowering act. Now, as much as I want to push society towards more “analog” and “slow” options because I genuinely think it would be good for us all to get off of these algorithms for good, it’s not the only way to opt into more conscious consumption. “Consciously consuming” as a ritual, instead o...

"It feels good to look down on people until you realize that being above society is also being apart from it. It pulls you deeper into your own home, your own phone." - quoted from Lily Alexandre's Youtube Video . Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog . SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!) DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund GET AN OCCASIONAL PE...

How do we feel like we’re not being watched, when we are being watched? Studies show that citizens tolerate being surveilled, and eventually stop thinking about it. But we tend to act more docile + reliable after we forget. The camera makes you more docile. It makes you a better employee. But the camera has taken something from you. Your complex and unstable kinetic energy. Everyday it reanimates...

Cameras "take" and "capture" reality, but even when we know it's manufactured, we tend to trust what we can see. Today, we talk about the historical and psychological implications of photography. Watch Lily Alexandre's Youtube Video . Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog . SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!) DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund GET AN OCCASIO...

I have tried to be conscious of any of the personally imposed surveillance that I take part in. It’s futile, I’m sure, but:  I opt out of everything I can possibly opt out of online.  I talk shit to and about every Ring doorbell to anyone who will listen. I opt out of the biometric data collection at the TSA, despite some of the officers reminding me they have my data already.  The...

 I realized trying to balance things by pushing back and forcing a reset, rather than allowing the swing of humanity, with the full spectrum of human emotions, and restore my faith that just existing is enough.  I know that when I am my most inspired I can get inspired by a moth flying at a light, a mom smiling at her baby, and I am known to get emotional when an older person b...

If the “experience” is the goal, failure ceases to exist. “you will figure it out.” You should trust that. If you don’t believe it, maybe its time to give yourself a chance to prove yourself wrong.  In what ways have you been your own biggest bully? In what ways have you become your own opps? Some of you* have been playing really small and trying to fit in boxes that were never built for you...

Sometimes, when the facades are crumbling, you may start to recognize the need for a controlled demolition. Not to destroy anything of value, but to strategically dismantle some of the more daunting aspects of your current human experience. Any routines, beliefs, relationships, that are no longer helpful, we must be willing to strip back to the foundation, so we can actually assess the underlying...

We write narratives about ourselves that we show up and reflect back. Address the narrative, and recognize you can show up around your "shame" and it doesn't have to be something you identify with. You can allow shame to point, not guide. It's a tool, not a boss. SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!) DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAI...

2025 brought in some studies that left me with some hope about the future, and I wanted to share that with you. You can read the ones I missed here at Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine Website . SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!) DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOU...

Today is the finale of our series on street epistemology, and we're digging into what NOT to do. Wonder : The big question. Hypothesis : The interlocutor's proposed answer to the question. Elenchus : Question and answer to discover what other reasonable propositions are likely to be true that refute the hypothesis. Proceed by mutual agreement at every step - elenchus is not a debate. Accept or Rev...

Some people think their faith is "enough". Today I share ways to get them to reflect on the flaws in that thinking, and how to deal with people who refuse to budge. Wonder : The big question. Hypothesis : The interlocutor's proposed answer to the question. Elenchus : Question and answer to discover what other reasonable propositions are likely to be true that refute the hypothesis. Proceed by mutu...

Wonder : The big question. Hypothesis : The interlocutor's proposed answer to the question. Elenchus : Question and answer to discover what other reasonable propositions are likely to be true that refute the hypothesis. Proceed by mutual agreement at every step - elenchus is not a debate. Accept or Revise : Refine or revise the hypothesis - either without vulnerability to that elenchus, with reduc...

You can't change minds when people are defensive. Practice using neutral language and reframing techniques to minimize defensiveness. These are difficult conversations, but they shouldn't feel like confrontations. Today we talk about some ways to do that. Read Perth Skeptics collection of street epistemology resources . Read Berkeley's "Bridging Differences Playbook" Visit the Street Epistemology...

You can affirm a person without affirming their ideas. Treat people with respect, leave space for silent reflections, and allow yourself humility in how you approach these dialogues. Read Perth Skeptics collection of street epistemology resources . Read Berkeley's "Bridging Differences Playbook" Visit the Street Epistemology Website . Read the Wikipedia on Street Epistemology . SUPPORT JULIE (and...

We are fallible. We can't "know that we know" everything. Street epistemology is based on reliabilism. It's not dogmatic, but it does help us recognize fallacies when people are claiming extraordinary events are true. Read Perth Skeptics collection of street epistemology resources . Read Berkeley's "Bridging Differences Playbook" Visit the Street Epistemology Website . Read the Wikipedia on Street...

Challenge your biases + stereotypes. Focus on first-hand experiences. Focus on individual humanity, not their group membership. Assume good intentions. Be intentional with expanding your interactions with other cultures. Learn to engage with context not the connotation. Read Perth Skeptics collection of street epistemology resources . Read Berkeley's "Bridging Differences Playbook" Visit the Stree...

It's not about changing someone's mind, it's about finding common ideas so you can expose the vulnerabilities + biases, but there are risks involved. You may start to identify your own faulty beliefs. This work isn't for everyone, all the time. It's not your responsibility to have productive conversations about everything, all the time. If you have the capacity, though, some of these strategies an...

Lately I've been avoiding arguments by asking people about their "mode of justification" rather than the justification, itself. It's helped me in my genuine curiosity, which allows me to be more respectful when dealing with people whose beliefs seem ridiculous. There's no formula or script, but asking "what evidence would change your confidence in the truth of this claim?" has changed my relations...

When you deep clean your kitchen cabinets, your guests won't know what a MESS it used to be. It's invisible labor. They won't see the chaos that you had to go through to get everything to an organized place, but that doesn't take away the value of an organized cabinet. Finding a way to engage with the world productively, has been a chaotic mess of a project - but it's been worth it. I'm highly sen...