Says Who?

Hey Sayswhovia! It is hot and it is bad and Maureen and Dan are here to help (???) you through it.  And hey, as bad as things are, at least you're not Dan, whose teeth keep falling out.    Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Welcome back to regular Says Who service as Dan’s schedule starts to regulate.  And good things are happening! Maureen is sewing and making froyo. Dan and Son of Dan made a video game controller out of garbage! That’s great!  And there’s a bill! A big, monster of a bill, slouching toward the House. Trump and Elon are fighting again, and we finally made our first concentration camp. USA! So let’s t...

It sure is hot out there, SaysWhovia.  Especially in NYC, where Maureen has been out voting. Dan has thoughts on this, because he always has thoughts on New York and the mayor situation. This all turns out to be about sandwiches. Also, war! Maureen makes dog food! Wear sunscreen, SaysWhovia. Conditions are warming up. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon...

Dan had a genuinely rough week, SaysWhovia. We’re going to have a relaxing episode with some pudding and a nice parade. A big parade. Huge. And maybe an old friend will come and sing us a song. Let’s take care of each other, SaysWhovia, and let’s have some pudding. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Everything is going great SaysWhovia. Maureen's brain is shorting out as her deadline grows near, the recording connection keeps freezing up, and Elon's popping 20 pills a day. Oh also, he has a black eye. And is definitely not high. It's fine. Everything's fine. Wolfy's!   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s been a messy start to today, SayWhovia. Literally. But we’re going to get through it together.  Because this week, we have a delicious meal to serve up, straight from the best kitchens of the Trump golf courses. Or, from a kitchen of a Trump golf course. Come learn about the new grift! And if you feel like you’re in too deep, Dan and Maureen will send one of the new Eric Adams lifeguard drone...

SaysWhovia! Maureen is off to become a lobbiest (no really) and Dan is back in Chicago—home of The Pope, did you hear—and Bruce Springsteen is on tour out of the country where apparently he might want to stay because Donald Trump is Super Big Mad about things he said, which is a normal thing that happens. In fact, lots of normal things are happening, like RFK Junior swimming in sewage, Donald Trum...

Dan was in New York over the weekend and Maureen wanted to give him a window into authentic NYC living by taking him to The Friends Experience. Yes, the TV show that Dan has never seen. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen is in Philadelphia, enjoying the greenery and the ticks. Dan is in Chicago, enjoying his basement. And tariffs. Yes, it’s Tariff Talking Time! How do you put a tariff on a movie? We’re about to find out maybe! Also, If you’ve been planning on getting into hacking, now is a great time. The US is operating on tutorial level. Now you too can read state secrets! Everything is generally smart a...

Dan and Maureen think you need a break. They want to talk to you about some good television and games. Give your mind a rest. Renew yourself. Also, Trump and Elon are taking a break, so there’s the tie in! Also, Maureen wants to take Dan to the Friends Experience and explain to him what “we were on a break!” is about! He has no idea! Also, tariffs! Canada! And beans! So much about beans. Sit down,...

You guys.  You guys.  You guys.  You guys.  He killed the Pope.   Preorder The Creeping Hand Murder here: https://www.mysteriousbookshop.com/products/maureen-johnson-jay-cooper-you-are-the-detective-the-creeping-hand-murder-preorder-signed?_pos=2&_sid=266ae0085&_ss=r Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, Dan and Maureen are joined by Akilah Hughes to talk about…something.  Akilah and Dan definitely want to talk about something, but they’re being so cagey about it. VOTE REBEL SPIRIT here : https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2025/podcasts/limited-series-specials/diversity-equity-inclusion-belonging And preorder The Creeping Hand Murder here: https://www.mysteriousbookshop.com/prod...

It's Tariff Time over in SaysWhovia! Let's all celebrate the return of American manufacturing, which is absolutely going to happen. Also, please help Dan. He is not okay. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We don’t know what the Day of Liberation holds for the economy, but obviously it’s going to be great.  Right now, Cory Booker is still talking, health services are shutting down, and it’s maybe too much to take in in one bite. Small bites, SaysWhovia. Share the load. Work in shifts. Take a walk. Come to Maureen’s for dinner. She can stretch a lentil. Grab a spoon, SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat! Say...

Check your phone, SaysWhovia. You're in the groupchat.   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SaysWhovia, you have no idea how deep this one goes. Hang on. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Whoooo, there is a lot going on. It’s not great! Maureen got distracted and put her phone in the wash. She is maybe not okay. Also, she has fallen in love with a puppet. Dan swings in with the news, which isn’t all bad. There are a lot of Teslas on fire! But also, there is a lot of bad. But don’t worry. Something truly magical happens near the end that Dan really, really loves. Let your horse get...

This week, Teslas are burning, no one is sleeping right, everything is falling apart, and Dan is…weirdly optimistic? Well, he’s invented something new, anyway.  Also, Maureen loves Guy’s Grocery Games. Hop in, SaysWhovia! It’s only sort of on fire! Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s a new week in these new times, and you know what that means: MORE BULLSHIT!  But in the middle of the chaos, there is a light! People are striking back! It’s time for some delicious sabotage. Everyone is welcome to participate! Or perhaps you, dear SaysWhovian, would like to run DOGE? Opportunities abound. Yes, it is bad, but people are doing the work. Take heart. Play bingo. Break their stuf...

Somehow, SaysWhovia, we are still in the first month of this thing. Everything happens so much all the time now.  But hark!  Does Dan here clown goings-on in New York City? He does. Which means that it’s time to talk to Maureen about her home, the Greatest City In The World, the one with the clown crime mayor, the magic rocks, the rats, the endless construction, and the newest invention—the trash...

Have you ever made a list, SaysWhovia? Stuff you need from the store. Ingredients for dinner. Things you need to do. Things to pack. Ways to undo all American institutions by basically letting a bunch of fascist raccoons into the attic? Well, Dan has made a list of all the things that happened this week. No. He made a list of SOME of them, because no one has the whole list. And he has decided to r...

OK, so yeah, things could be better.  Elon's little fash dipshits are running around, and it sure does seem like America is coming to an end, but Maureen has a new boyfriend!   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Apparently it’s been a week?   Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Sayswhovians! Yes, Trump was inaugurated again this week. Yes, Elon Musk threw up a nazi salute. Yes, everything has gone to full shitshow very quickly. And yes, Maureen is sick. But, she's hopped up on just enough of the good drugs to record an impromptu episode with Dan this afternoon after they had to cancel their regularly schedule one due to illness. So, hello, it is a new era. It sucks. We a...

There’s a lot going on, SaysWhovia. While Dan and Maureen will get into some of it (with appropriate content markers around one subject so you can listen safety!)—they spend a lot of time in the land of dissociation, where the main subjects are radio jingles, cigarettes, and weird birds. On this ground, we will build our city. We got this, SaysWhovia. We’ll stick together. Don’t get frannick. Says...