Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

Let’s get you an easier open relationship / more sex / on the same page about the future / [insert what you want more of in your relationship] without the emotional equivalent of DOMS 🤣 The “work” of shifting and strengthening your relationship can be the good, easy, productive type of hard when you learn new skills and have a coach guiding you. I got you! Schedule a free next steps call where I'...

Even if you've been out and proud for decades, been in an open relationship for years, been sex-positive for just as long... STILL sometimes parts of your sexuality and sex life can start to feel secretive, maybe even shameful. You might feel like pursuing your desires is selfish in some way or worry they'll be your undoing. If any of that sounds like, then you've got to listen to this episode. In...

f you want to be in a relationship that doesn't quite fit the monogamy mold, you've probably come across both the ideas of both "open relationship" and "polyamory" ... what's the difference between them and which one is right for you? Polyamory and open relationship are two BIG umbrella terms in the ways folks structure their not-monogamous relationship lives. I explain the basics of each, how the...

A short and sweet one from my phone to yours today with a message that maybe you need to hear. Are you approaching your open relationship like an edge... always almost but hardly ever going all the way? If so, it's up to you to decide: do you actually want to get off? No wrong answer, just choose on purpose. And if you do want that's more comfortable to actually act on, what are you going to do ab...

When John first brought up opening their relationship, Keller's response was fear. He didn't feel like enough. He didn't have a framework. And after 8 years together, the whole idea felt like it could unravel everything they'd built. Four years later, he and John are married and navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. In this conversation, you'...

You know how new relationships come with a honeymoon period? The first few months to first few years after opening up have their own honeymoon period too. If you hit a bumpy patch a year or two after opening up, you are not alone. There are a few common reasons and once you know what they are, you can know what to do about them. In this episode, I'm going to talk you through through the most commo...

If you'd like to watch along with the video and slides, you can see the video replay at https://thisisbgm.com/workshop/replay/ 🔎 Want to shift something in your relationship? From communication, conflict, sex, desire, relationship structure, future planning and more, I coach clients to build right-fit relationships. Apply for a (free) next steps call: https://thisisbgm.com/private-coaching/ Relat...

As someone who talks about non-monogamy every week on this show, Brian has something to say in this episode that might surprise you: sometimes opening your relationship is a terrible idea. Or at least it won't do what you're hoping it will do. In this episode, Brian breaks down the four reasons people sometimes have for opening up that are actually red flags — and what to do instead if you recogni...

I hear the words "fair" and "even" tossed around constantly when it comes to relationships — open, poly, or monogamous. But here's my main thesis: fair and even are not the same thing. In this episode, I break down all the sneaky ways I see clients and friends try to enforce "evenness" in their relationships, from matching hookup frequency, to keeping outside connections the same "type," splitting...

In this episode, Brian shares his extensive 15-year experience in an open relationships, looking especially at how non-monogamy has enriched his life and partnership. Whether you're curious about opening up your relationship, looking for positive examples of non-monogamy, or seeking advice on how to "do" an open relationship well, you'll learn from Brian's personal story and professional insights....

If one of you wanted an open relationship and the other was hesitant so you compromised by being partway open—some things are allowed, some aren’t and it’s not quite as open as one of you would like while being frustrating or scary for the other… I got you. In this episode, we’ll look at the (very understandable) reasons couples open up partway as well as the SPECIFIC challenges that come along wi...

We’re facing some common open relationship/polyamory fears head-on: what if he finds someone “better?” What if it’s all fun now, but our open relationship becomes a problem later? We’ll confront worries about commitment, jealousy, and whether opening a relationship could get in the way of a deeper future together. You’ll learn the unexpected REAL issue that most often comes up. As well as some key...

Here’s a dynamic I see all too often: wanting an open relationship but not being sure how to do it well, maybe worried it’ll mess up your relationship. Or in an open relationship but tolerating and not thrilled about it. What if the open part of your open relationship could actually be a that brings you closer together and is a source of joy not tension or frustration? Whether that sounds like a d...

Can you leave for a hookup while your partner is at home? If you find yourself open in theory but not so much in practice, than this episode is for you. I’ve identified three reasons why that could be. In this episode, I’ll share them all along with a fix for each. If you see yourself in any of these 3 scenarios, DM or email me and let me know which ones! I always love hearing from friends and lis...

What do you do when you start to develop feelings for new connections in an open relationship? A listener wrote in: “I've found sex with other people most enjoyable when there's an emotional connection or intense sexual chemistry. And I've had that with maybe with 3 people so far. It's not love. It's just a connection. And sometimes a yearning to see these people again. To know them better. How do...

No matter how much you read, watch, and practice communicating well with your boyfriend, sometimes you're going to mess up. In this episode, I share my relationship communication mistakes so that you can learn from me and hopefully not make the same mistakes yourself. Fighting with your boyfriend, feeling misunderstood by your partner, getting angry or frustrated at your husband are all common in...

Is there a magic spell that you can say to have a thriving relationship? No, unfortunately not, but there are formulas that you can follow to ensure that you are set up for success. This episode will help you answer the questions "Is my relationship healthy?" or "Is my partner a good fit for me?" or "Is our relationship on the right track?" If you want to work on and improve your relationship to m...

Enrollment for Relationshift is sold out and now closed. Want early access when enrollment opens again later this summer? Add your name to the waitlist at thisisbgm.com/group If you are reading this, I have 2 private coaching spots opening up this summer. Learn more about how coaching can support you in building a fuller, more honest, more alive erotic life and relationship and apply for a spot at...

In this episode we're covering: How to spot when you're using "hints" to try to get what you want or make a change in your relationship The (understanable) reasons we use hints The hidden cost of hints and then, of course, what to do instead! Enrollment for Relationshift is sold out and now closed. Want early access when enrollment opens again later this summer? Add your name to the waitlist at th...

You cannot make your partner change. You can’t make him want to have sex more often. Or make him be more comfortable with non-monogamy. Or talk about his feelings more openly. That’s a good thing, actually. It means you don’t have to wait for things to change because you do have control over yourself and how you show up in the relationship.  In this casual conversation of an episode, I share...

Are you in a long-term relationship and finding yourself longing for more intimacy? You're not alone! In this episode, I dive into the common struggles many couples face when it comes to their sex lives. I share experiences from working with couples in my relationship coaching practice, shedding light on the challenges they've encountered and how to navigate through them. Whether you're the partne...

Tired of feeling frustrated with your partner? Craving more sex? An easier time being open? The ability to freely kiss friends and strangers on the dance floor? If you've been "working on it" for awhile now, that doesn't mean you're stuck, it might mean you haven't tried the RIGHT things... which is a good thing, actually. It means the changes you want to see are yours for the taking, if you know...

Maybe you're looking forward to a hook-up-filled gay getaway or hoping a vacation will finally reignite a stalled sex life. If you're feeling feral and ready to mingle this summer, let's make sure the thing you're most looking forward to this summer doesn't turn into the thing that frustrates and disappoints you. To get your open relationship summer ready, in this episode I’m going to share a new...

If you think you might want an open relationship—or to change how you structure your open relationship—you’re probably trying to figure out exactly when and how to talk to your partner about that.  I get it. That was me 16 years ago. And I was terrified. But if I hadn’t gathered the courage to have that first conversation, none of the past 16 years would be possible.  In this episod...

When John first brought up opening their relationship, Keller's response was fear. He didn't feel like enough. He didn't have a framework. And after 8 years together, the whole idea felt like it could unravel everything they'd built. Four years later, he and John are married and navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. In this conversation, you'...