Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

Can you leave for a hookup while your partner is at home? If you find yourself open in theory but not so much in practice, than this episode is for you. I’ve identified three reasons why that could be. In this episode, I’ll share them all along with a fix for each. If you see yourself in any of these 3 scenarios, DM or email me and let me know which ones! I always love hearing from friends and lis...

What do you do when you start to develop feelings for new connections in an open relationship? A listener wrote in: “I've found sex with other people most enjoyable when there's an emotional connection or intense sexual chemistry. And I've had that with maybe with 3 people so far. It's not love. It's just a connection. And sometimes a yearning to see these people again. To know them better. How do...

No matter how much you read, watch, and practice communicating well with your boyfriend, sometimes you're going to mess up. In this episode, I share my relationship communication mistakes so that you can learn from me and hopefully not make the same mistakes yourself. Fighting with your boyfriend, feeling misunderstood by your partner, getting angry or frustrated at your husband are all common in...

Is there a magic spell that you can say to have a thriving relationship? No, unfortunately not, but there are formulas that you can follow to ensure that you are set up for success. This episode will help you answer the questions "Is my relationship healthy?" or "Is my partner a good fit for me?" or "Is our relationship on the right track?" If you want to work on and improve your relationship to m...

Enrollment for Relationshift is sold out and now closed. Want early access when enrollment opens again later this summer? Add your name to the waitlist at thisisbgm.com/group If you are reading this, I have 2 private coaching spots opening up this summer. Learn more about how coaching can support you in building a fuller, more honest, more alive erotic life and relationship and apply for a spot at...

In this episode we're covering: How to spot when you're using "hints" to try to get what you want or make a change in your relationship The (understanable) reasons we use hints The hidden cost of hints and then, of course, what to do instead! Enrollment for Relationshift is sold out and now closed. Want early access when enrollment opens again later this summer? Add your name to the waitlist at th...

You cannot make your partner change. You can’t make him want to have sex more often. Or make him be more comfortable with non-monogamy. Or talk about his feelings more openly. That’s a good thing, actually. It means you don’t have to wait for things to change because you do have control over yourself and how you show up in the relationship.  In this casual conversation of an episode, I share...

Are you in a long-term relationship and finding yourself longing for more intimacy? You're not alone! In this episode, I dive into the common struggles many couples face when it comes to their sex lives. I share experiences from working with couples in my relationship coaching practice, shedding light on the challenges they've encountered and how to navigate through them. Whether you're the partne...

Tired of feeling frustrated with your partner? Craving more sex? An easier time being open? The ability to freely kiss friends and strangers on the dance floor? If you've been "working on it" for awhile now, that doesn't mean you're stuck, it might mean you haven't tried the RIGHT things... which is a good thing, actually. It means the changes you want to see are yours for the taking, if you know...

Maybe you're looking forward to a hook-up-filled gay getaway or hoping a vacation will finally reignite a stalled sex life. If you're feeling feral and ready to mingle this summer, let's make sure the thing you're most looking forward to this summer doesn't turn into the thing that frustrates and disappoints you. To get your open relationship summer ready, in this episode I’m going to share a new...

If you think you might want an open relationship—or to change how you structure your open relationship—you’re probably trying to figure out exactly when and how to talk to your partner about that.  I get it. That was me 16 years ago. And I was terrified. But if I hadn’t gathered the courage to have that first conversation, none of the past 16 years would be possible.  In this episod...

When John first brought up opening their relationship, Keller's response was fear. He didn't feel like enough. He didn't have a framework. And after 8 years together, the whole idea felt like it could unravel everything they'd built. Four years later, he and John are married and navigating non-monogamy with more confidence and intention than Keller ever thought possible. In this conversation, you'...

Y'all are thirsty—and I say that with full love and zero judgment. I've gotten a lot of questions lately about whether it's OK to send sexy pics when you're getting to know someone, and honestly, my default answer is always "you do you, boo." But there's more to it than that, so in this episode I'm diving into the when, why, and how of Snapchat, sexting, and sending nudes—whether you're single, da...

Is fighting a sign of a failing relationship? Not necessarily! Conflict is a natural and normal part of every relationship, what matters is how you approach conflict and how you feel during it. If you find yourself battling with your partner--you know the feeling: butting heads, making arguments, poking holes, getting defensive, or if you find yourself making "compromises" that feel more like surr...

Do you have rules for your open relationship or are you looking to set some? If so, you probably want open relationship rules to protect your relationship, keep yourselves safe, and to avoid any uncomfortable feelings like jealousy or insecurity. Makes sense! A lot of couples in open relationships reach for a rulebook — no sleepovers, no feelings, always get permission first. And there's a reason:...

"Boundaries" pack a lot of promise: from personal protection to being the key to a successful relationship. Personal boundaries are important in a relationship. But sometimes saying that is either than setting them. Or maybe you've had the language of boundaries weaponized against you when trying to advocate for yourself or your own needs. In this episode, Brian breaks down what a boundary actuall...

In this episode, Brian G. Murphy explores the importance of embracing uncomfortable feelings in open and polyamorous relationships. If you're in an open or polyamorous relationship and you feel overwhelmed, jealous, frustrated, or insecure, there's nothing wrong with you. And you aren't "bad" for feeling that way. So where do you go from there? Push down those feelings and try to make them go away...

If you try hard to communicate well in your relationship, and you care deeply about your partner, and so you try really hard to fix any problems in your relationship right when they come up... ... that's understandable. It's even a loving and helpful impulse. BUT you might be skipping one important step and making a mistake that actually makes your conflict harder than it needs to be. In this epis...

In between "monogamy" and an "open relationship," there’s a grey area… you’re technically monogamous anymore but “open” isn’t really accurate either. This ish space can be fun and fulfilling or it can be stressful and unsatisfying. It depends on which ish you’re in. In this episode you'll learn the difference between monogamish (a term coined by Dan Savage) and open-ish — a term Brian uses to desc...

Whether you're considering opening up your relationship, already in an open relationship and wondering "maybe this is just how its supposed to be?," or new dating match say he's polyamorous... you may or may not have some ideas about what it means to be open or polyamorous and they may or may not be accurate. In this episode, Brian G Murphy busts many of the common nonmonogamy myths and shares wit...

Is watching porn cheating? What about dancing with a stranger? or sexting with a friend? Whatever your answer is, I know that there is someone out there equally confident that the opposite is true. In my work as a relationship coach, nearly every person I talk to has a different idea about what would "count" as cheating—and sometimes partners even have different definitions! In this episode, I wan...

If you're thinking about opening up your relationship—or have opened it partway already—you may think that if you just go slow enough, everything will work out. While it's important to go at a slow and steady pace, there are 3 major pitfalls I see when partners are starting to open their relationship. In this episode, Brian shares what those are so you can avoid unnecessary stress, conflict, fear,...

What if your sex life wasn't a distraction from everything going on in the world right now but actually one of your most powerful responses to it? In this episode, Brian shares how your sex life is political. He breaks down how sex shame has been used as a tool of control, why it's important to feed your own sexual pleasure as a way to tend to your relationship (even when doing so feels scary), an...

In this episode, Brian G. Murphy talks with Jonah Wheeler (@ShowOffJonah) about finding community and meaning in group sex. Tune in if you're curious to give group sex try or wanting to feel more comfortable, less nervous, more confident, and less ashamed about the sex you're already having. This is one part how-to and best practices and another part about how to see group experiences not as somet...

There are lots of reasons you may consider an open relationship—or consider opening up more than you already are. I’ve been there myself and I’ve helped a ton of people answer that question for themselves. Whatever your reasons for asking yourself that question, I’m gonna help you figure it out.  Enrollment for Relationshift is sold out and now closed. Want early access when enrollment opens...