Your Internet Boyfriends

Denis orders Pizza Hut at 2am and gets scammed, and Mark explains what a U-Haul lesbian is. After the break, Denis and Mark get into Andrew Scott's spitting scene in It Gets Worse, the "right in front of my salad" meme, and Denis's doomsday kit (three days of water and a wind-up radio). Also this week: sun lamps and porridge, tipping in the rain, the sexy Halloween cats and the pantomime stars who...

The new UK porn law lands in two weeks, and Denis and Mark need answers: what happens to stepbro, and is "daddy" still allowed? Meanwhile, Mark got his Botox topped up and has been banned from blow dries (and riding), and Denis finally watches Sex and the City for the first time. We also chat: Tim Tams and Nigella's new Bake Off gig Which biscuits are gay (a Wagon Wheel is a lesbian) Dorothy's, th...

Denis leaves Lisa at the back of a Ryanair flight, shares his foolproof trick for the seat lottery and finds out what lives under the seats on the dirtiest plane in Ireland. Meanwhile, Mark heads to Dublin for a big national media moment that may or may not survive the edit. We also chat: Why voice notes should be a jailable offence A complaint from Anthony No Nut November and the NoFap superpower...

Traitors, thongs and TV licence inspectors. Fresh from the live show, the boys thank the fans who flew in from Cork, and Denis tries to retire his automatic handshake. Meanwhile, Mark has joined society and finally got a TV licence, just in time for his first ever episode of Celebrity Traitors. Plus, Tom Ford is sending men down the runway in thongs, and Mark tries to talk Denis into giving one a...

It's spooky season in the studio, pumpkins, candles and a burnt tangerine blouse. Mark spends a break from his tours eating IKEA meatballs, stumbles into a Tom Holland lookalike competition in Soho Square, and brings news of an East London celebrity barber who now cuts hair with no clothes on. Meanwhile, Denis's hairdresser flat out refuses to cut his hair, and he reads Mark Dolly Alderton's reaso...

Denis discovers Troye Sivan, the boys return from their big day out with the London beavers and Mark receives possibly the most important celebrity follow of his career. We also chat: Our big beaver adventure The surprisingly complicated sex lives of bats Mark nearly causing a cycling accident Bosco Gay dating advice First-date escape plans Get in touch by whatsapp on Your Internet Boyfriend Hotli...

Denis returns from Turkey with tales of extortionate airport prices and a boat trip where one particularly confident woman made it very difficult for him to concentrate on the scenery. Meanwhile, Mark is back from Japan with presents for Denis and reveals that he accidentally caused the downfall of a lovely couple in the health spa. We also chat: * Gay names * Turkey’s £23 Big Mac * Instagram nose...

A few weeks ago, Denis told Mark three completely unbelievable stories and was accused of making the whole thing up. This week, he returns with photographic evidence and unfortunately for Mark, the stag do story was very, very real. Meanwhile, Mark discusses why some of the gays just can’t bring themselves to be happy for Tom Daley. We also chat: Meeting listeners in the wild Straight people at th...

Denis has had enough of London’s questionable summer hygiene and thinks it’s time we all started showering properly. Meanwhile, Mark sets up a nice couple with two big American bears. We also chat: Hugging your colleagues Mark leaving his big boy job Holiday couples making friends Turkish party buses Speed-dating success stories Gay World War II tours Irish history tours of London Get in touch by...

Denis has a theory that Mark chooses his men seasonally - suave international guests and lighter pieces for summer, before returning to something a little sturdier and cuddlier for winter. Meanwhile, after more than a year immersed in the community, Denis has some notes for the gays. We also chat: Mark’s trip to Japan BIG beaver update Watching the eclipse with the gays The horrors of British gard...

Mark suffers a nosebleed while am relaxing with a friend in his bed. Denis meanwhile meets one of the most famous celebrities on planet earth before nearly getting himself cancelled talking about Furries. We also chat: Luscious locks Chicken pumpers Buses keeling over Hotel shenanigans 24 Hours in A&E To access bonus content, ad-free listening, behind-the-scenes content, and much more, become a me...

Due to a recent surge in straight women fancying Mark, he starts wondering if bisexuality might finally be on the cards. Meanwhile, Denis is openly advertising for a wealthy sugar daddy willing to bankroll the podcast after sharing three absolutely unbelievable stories that leave Mark convinced he’s making the whole thing up. We also chat: Apple crumble Beavers in London Going to Japan Stag dos Ri...

Mark and Denis spill the beans on their sell out gay speed dating night which ended in romances, sleepovers and shenanigans under a table. Actually lots of shenanigans under lots of tables. Denis contemplates everything. We also chat: Booths Mark's shuttle bus service A big one in the toilets Straight man jealousy A licence to operate big machinery Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone...

Denis and Mark talk about the local Irish characters that once ruled their towns. Oh and Mark has a new handbag and he's absolutely thrilled about it. We also chat: Barbs' retirement Michael Tierney The Bumblebee Mark’s ghost tour days Nosebleeds and geese Instagram Feeds Burning rubbish Cutting turf To access bonus content, ad-free listening, behind-the-scenes content, and much more, become a mem...

Was the World Cup halftime show a mass hallucianation? Unfortunately not, and this week the boys pick it apart while Mark puts up a stalwart defence of his queen, her highness, Madonna. Also Denis nearly died. We also chat: Traffic reports Dormer houses Cleaning windowsills Drinking diesel Limescale remover The quarter zip To access bonus content, ad-free listening, behind-the-scenes content, and...

Mark and Denis talk about the outbreak of explosive diarrhea running through the community in London. What is it? What causes it? And how did Denis come up with his drag name from it? The boys also court controversy discussing when is it time for a goth to hang up their big black boots. We also talk about: Ring tattoos and the long jump Fisting classes Daz washing powder Coco Shells before bed Mex...

Denis opens this week's episode with a chilling story about ice cubes and a straight man. Mark meanwhile tries to evade all questions about his Pride escapades and men sliding around the floor. They also discuss: Scarves around things Gimme More gay awakening Wheelie Twinks A lot of people from Spain screaming Is Denis AI? The gusher Mark off the drink Homosexualist Starkly different weekends: How...

This week, the podcast is literally heating up so Denis asks Mark what temperature do two grown men simply become too hot for a bed? All before Denis forces Mark to reveal a shocking secret. In this episode: Spitting on croissants Choosing bananas Denis' assets blocking the wind Sitting in a chair doing absolutely nothing Wrapping yourselves in dressing gowns while eating grapes and cheese Learn m...

The second part of Your Internet Boyfriends Go Deep… On Tip Toe sees Denis and Mark share personal experiences and address the part social media plays in dividing communities. They also tackle Tip Toe’s horrifying final episode examining how it’s not as “unrealistic” as some might think. Switchboard: 0800 0119100 and hello@switchboard.lgbt Samaritans: 116 123 Mermaids: 0808 801 0400 and text SHOUT...

In this first episode Denis and Mark share their reactions to the series, the context the show is set against, as well as their favourite moments. They also introduce their special guest, friend and journalist Alastair James, and touch on the negative responses to Tip Toe. Switchboard: 0800 0119100 and hello@switchboard.lgbt Samaritans: 116 123 Mermaids: 0808 801 0400 and text SHOUT to 85258 Galop...

Mark reveals how a tattoo in a very intimate location was briefly mistaken for something incredibly offensive, while Denis completely loses it when Mark admits the one name he’d most like to call out passionately in the middle of the night. As if that wasn’t enough, the boys also realise they’ve somehow forgotten to record 25 minutes of the podcast and attempt a frantic reconstruction of what was...

This week Mark takes on heterosexual interior design, while Denis accidentally overhears a private conversation between Mark and producer Dec about “flipping” that raises more questions than answers. The boys also chat about: Chemsex panel discussions Taking drugs and dancing An unexpectedly romantic afternoon The best yet Shopping at Next Sticks coming out of cups of water Pussy willow Lo-fi beat...

To celebrate Pride, Mark and Denis organise a speed-kissing event and create a parade float lined with straight men for Denis. Naturally, the conversation then takes an unexpected turn towards clubs with some very unusual rules. We also chat about: Arsenal winning the league Men being starved for complements Listeners confusing who is the straight one Handsome priests in Malta Sign up for bonus ep...

Mark reveals he actually made his tv debut on Domestic Divas - where they forced him to mess up his house then clean it again. Denis forgets to put on his shoes, eats three whole mackerel and is craving the juice from a tin of pears. He might be pregnant. They also chat about: Denis' odd socks Watching a man sleep, up and down Trans masc climbing rocks A dentist giving Mark thrush Hair turning int...

This week on Your Internet Boyfriends, the boys ask the question nobody was prepared for: what would Denis do if he woke up in Mark’s body for 24 hours… and what exactly would Mark do if he was inside Denis for a day? The boys also chat about: Percy Pigs The number 69 Eating pizza in bed Tracking loved ones Weird relationship habits Trust, paranoia and phone locations Learn more about your ad choi...