Untoxicated Podcast

Our latest essay from our  Untoxicated blog: “Jen, part one” Mindfuckery. That’s how she described the cognitive dissonance of sitting in the waiting room while her son’s wisdom teeth were being extracted–doing one of the most motherly things a mother can do–while her husband sat it jail… If you are ready to focus on what matters, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our b...

Dual Diagnosis is a medical term for when someone experiences a substance use disorder and a co-occurring mental health concern. Sheri and Matt expand the definition to include behavioral addictions, talk about the impact of stigma and pathologizing, discuss Matt’s specific diagnoses, and share stories from the cases with which they have experience. Dual Diagnosis likely impacts the majority...

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “It Won’t Matter” I wish I could deliver a message to my younger self. Many messages, really, to many earlier versions of me. Like that the penis my college friends drew on my forehead with permanent marker when I passed out would not, in fact, impact the rest of my life. Or that leaving my sales-manager job in a steel company that was for sale upg...

Are you an alcoholic, or are you a gray-area drinker? Are you avoiding confrontation, or do you have topics that you might find benefits from addressing? Are you an emotional abuser, or are you too reactive? Word choice matters, and Matt has a habit of choosing the most stigmatized, direct, and toxic words. Sheri helps Matt consider nuance. Matt needs a lot of help. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey...

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “The Family Scar” Before they served us our farewell dinner, our neighbors of twenty years, while enjoying the evening sun of newly saved daylight on their back deck, asked our youngest two boys what their fondest memories were of the house we are leaving behind. I froze in a mini-panic. “The time Drunk Dad got so mad that he punched a framed...

Sheri and Matt explain the relief that the partners of drinkers experience in different scenarios as relationship status and possibly drinking status change. Recovery isn’t about rekindled romance or a revived fairytale. For the partners, the ultimate goal is relief from chaos and trauma. And most drinkers don’t understand how important that nervous system relief truly is. Please go to...

Our latest essay from the Evolution Series from our Untoxicated blog: Consequences of Confrontation Confrontation has long been hard for me, and I have worked tirelessly to avoid it. My conflict avoidance is also probably one of the reasons that my marriage has survived. While I acknowledge that past, I am moving into a new version of the future… If you are ready to pursue your own personal...

This is one of the most extreme cases of an incredibly normal experience. What started for Jen as social drinking with a new boyfriend eventually built to emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, and narcissistic behavior years into marriage. Jen had to pull herself and her kids from danger, and start over personally and professionally. This is a relatable story on overdrive. Please go to...

Our latest essay from our  Untoxicated blog: Enough Is having enough about getting more or needing less? I was at a casual lunch meeting with six people and two eight-slice pizzas. I ate one slice of pepperoni and one slice of margherita. I was still hungry, and the pizza was really delicious, but you could not have force-fed me a third slice… If you are ready to pursue your own personal ans...

In this quarterly session with licensed clinical social worker and mental health therapist, Lara Hammock, Sheri and Matt ask Lara listener questions about trauma and triggers, reconnection after detachment, the recovery timeline, and moderation after alcoholism. Lara also gives feedback on relationship confrontation and Matt’s insecurities. The episode ends with a vulnerable conversation abo...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Shameful Awakening” We hope you will engage. Please read and leave a comment about where you are in your process on our Sober and Unashamed website and blog here .

Trigger warning: Epstein and power addiction (to skip graphic discussion, please go to 17:45). Do you recognize this cycle: Conflict, huffiness, a period of no contact,  maybe a half-assed apology, an attitude of “water under the bridge” / never speak of this again, and lingering resentments that haunts? If so, this episode is for you, whether you are from the Midwest or not. Please go...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Catastrophism” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Catastrophism” Take the survey  about alcoholism and emotional safety. To read this an...

Dan Purcell is an intimacy coach and the host of the  Get Your Marriage On! podcast. Sheri and Matt ask Dan about taboo subjects around sexuality, safety, enthusiastic consent, desire discrepancy, reactive arousal, stress, and shame. For all of Dan’s resources, go to GetYourMarriageOn.com . Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Soft Pillows” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Soft Pillows” Take the survey about alcoholism and emotional safety. To read this and m...

Sheri talks about breaking free from an instinctual and conditioned compulsion to prioritize Matt’s needs over hers. Her transformation has not only had a positive personal effect, but it has made her more effective at home, at work, and in the community. Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Cold Hands” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Cold Hands” To read this and much more, check out our  Sober and Unashamed  blog.

Sara Kaufman-Bradstreet got sober, along with her husband, six years ago, and she talks with Sheri and Matt about triggers, parenting, the alcoholic label, stuffing emotions, sex and intimacy, going public, and self-confidence. Please check out Sara @NoMoreWastedDays on Instagram , TikTok, and facebook , and listen to the No More Wasted Days podcast . Please go to  UntoxicatedSurvey.org  to better...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous” To read...

In her 25 years as a couples therapist, Amy Lombardi, LPC, has worked with thousands of people, and can think of zero clients for whom alcohol has enhanced their life or relationship. In fact, alcohol is quite often a stated or underlying reason for partnership dysfunction. Amy talks with Sheri and Matt about imposter syndrome, resentment processing, trauma, defensiveness, blame shifting, detachme...

Kelly, Melanie, and Tess make a return visit to the podcast, this time to share their hard-earned wisdom about their pitfalls and successes in navigating the world of dating after alcoholic marriages. Insights and laughter are plentiful. If you are consider reentry into the dating scene, this is 90 minutes that will save you months of frustration. For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SH...

New from  Sober and Unashamed : “Million-Dollar Endorsement” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Million-Dollar Endorsement” To read this and much more, check out o...

Emotional abuse doesn’t leave visible bruises. Emotional abuse is always one weak apology away from being brushed under the rug. But trust and physical intimacy are impossible without emotional safety, and anything that disrupts emotional safety is abuse. Sheri and Matt talk through 10 forms of emotional abuse, from the obvious to the subtle. For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or S...

New from Sober and Unashamed : “The Cruelty of Addiction” We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “The Cruelty of Addiction” To read this and much more, check out our  Sober a...

In this second episode of a two-part series, Sheri and Matt talk about how anxiety, depression, and nervous system activation continued into the first several holiday seasons of Matt’s permanent sobriety. If you are going through the holidays without alcohol, don’t let perfection be the enemy of peacefulness. If the alcohol consumption of your partner created chaos, trauma, or nervous-...