Talking With Dr Toy

July has been designated as BIPOC Mental Health Awareness month. The pervasiveness of racism and many other "isms" adversely affect the mental health of this group. Research shows that intergenerational and historical trauma, racial oppression leads to specific mental health needs. However, due to barriers such as health inequities, socio-economic disparities, stigma, and lack of cultural competen...

The causes of stagnation are pervasive and the consequences may last for a long period of time. Stagnation has such consequences as cognitive and physical decline, discontent, and a lack of quality interpersonal relationships. The cost of stagnation may far outweigh the discomfort induced by change and trying something new. There are also some strategies to may assist in decreasing stagnation. www...

Stagnation has been defined as the "state of not flowing or moving, lack of activity, growth, and development as well as a situation in which something stays the same." Generativity vs. Stagnation is one of the stages in Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This particular stage is connected to finding meaning and purpose in life which may cultivate contentment and gratitude or dissatisfa...

"Those things we do not deal with will deal with us" is a statement I repeat to individuals engaging in avoidance strategies. Avoidance strategies may bring temporary relief but they also hinder many from learning effective coping strategies. Gradual exposure is one strategy used to confront fearful situations by allowing individuals to start at the least anxiety provoking situation towards the go...

Avoidance is a short-term coping strategy that induces a cycle of increasing anxiety symptoms rather than reducing them. It is normal to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and sensations, but there is a cost. As someone stated, "Short-term gain, but long-term loss." There are certain strategies that inform the avoidance trap such as distraction, denial, projection, and safety behaviors such a...

Happy Father's day to all those dads that are investing in the lives of their children and families. Today may be a day of joy and celebration for some as well as a day of sadness, anger, and grief for others.  The God within Christianity is often referred to as Father and even Daddy "abba", however, this reference may also trigger a variety of emotions. Some may contrast and compare God with thei...

Avoidance may be considered a main ingredient many individuals use when navigating some of life's difficult, uncomfortable, and painful moments. "It's normal to avoid or push away whatever feels intense or uncomfortable" (TherapistAid).  Avoidance does offer some relief which is why many use it as a coping strategy. However, the relief is temporary and it often induces a string of events that may...

A growth mindset has been defined as a belief that gifts, abilities, talents, and skills can be developed with work, practice, and perseverance. Individuals with a growth mindset view failures as  opportunities instead of obstacles which can help them create and achieve goals as well as fulfillment. Psychologist, Carol Dweck, coined the term and determined that individuals with a growth mindset te...

The psychological meaning of a deficit mindset is a type of thinking that focuses on negative self talk. persistent comparison to external standards and a sense of inadequacy. Deficit thinking can also lead to a fixed mindset that cultivates an attitude and belief system of limitations, impossibilities, and that nothing will change no matter the amount of effort. The deficit mindset may inform how...

The past few series regarding imposter syndrome have addressed the what, the why, and the how.  It is now time to begin the process of effectively managing imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the first step entails honesty which can be a major hurdle to overcome. Honesty is vulnerable but necessary because ignorance and avoidance will not move individuals toward a process of effectively addressing...

There are many facets involved in seeking to understand the origins of imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the makings of imposter syndrome may entail family origins and dynamics, personality traits such as neuroticism, low-self efficacy, perfectionism, transitions and new beginnings, and social anxiety. These aspects may inform some core beliefs and values individuals may hold about themselves wh...

According to Young, imposter syndrome may manifest in several ways such as agonizing over the smallest mistakes, self-doubt, constant self-criticism of one's own performance, and the constant fear of not living up to others or even one's own expectations. The weight and heaviness of this burden may induce symptoms of hypervigilance and a psychological toll on one's quality of life where life is re...

Imposter syndrome has been defined as the "psychological experience of feeling like a fake or phony" where individuals doubt their abilities, skill set, intellect, or creativity to achieve a certain level of success. "Approximately 70 percent of Americans experience these invasive and negative thoughts" which can induce symptoms of anxiety and even depression. Dr. Valerie Young identifies 5 types...

Showing up authentically in places can be a daunting task especially while living in a culture that promotes comparisons, competition, and imitation. There's a message in the noise that conveys being oneself if not in alignment with society's, community's, and other's expectations; is unacceptable, a deficit, even a liability. Individuals may be encouraged to believe if they can't be everything to...

Resurrection Day is one of the most significant observances within Christianity. One of the most profound anchors is the belief of a Risen Savior. A passage of scripture proclaims that the same resurrection power resides in believers, however at times, seasons of stagnation may seem like a drought.  The droughts may last so long that eventually visions fade and dreams die. May this day be a remind...

March is designated as Women's history month and it is with great gratitude and appreciation that I honor the women who have imparted so many treasures in my life.  I believe many individuals have encountered the power and presence of women's contributions within their lives. Centering the voices and stories of women can be life giving and sustaining. As a society, it is essential to create safe s...

Even in 2024 with so much progress of discussing, explaining, and addressing mental health issues, stigma and lack of understanding remain especially among ethically and diverse populations. It is unfortunate that some populations more than others have the latitude and empathy to discuss and address mental health symptoms. Mental health diagnoses do not define individuals' identities but so many p...

Matters of the heart most certainly include relationships. Community care is an important aspect of self-care and according to relational cultural theory--humans are wired for connection. Socially supportive relationships are good for the heart and overall physical health. However, challenges persist in individuals' capacity and ability to cultivate and nurture healthy relationships due to a numbe...

February is Heart Health Awareness Month. Matters of the heart entail the important task of taking care of your heart. The prevalence and disproportionate rates of cardiovascular disease among people of color, particular African Americans presents a tale of health disparities and social determinants of health. Social factors such as money, resources, living environment, and social networks are hug...

Black History Month represents an acknowledgement and celebration of culture and ethnic pride. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, colorism threatens and fragments aspects of identity, self-esteem, personality, and personhood especially for children. Mamie and Kenneth Clark's Black and White doll study provides evidence of internalized racism, shame, and self degradation at the tender...

I received some unfortunate news regarding the recent death of a dear friend. It was unexpected and in my limited perspective, way too soon. Such deaths may bring one closer to their own mortality and existential questions loom regarding what is the meaning of life, does my life count or matter, and how am I showing up to others especially those whom I call friends? Although this is a new year, de...

Masking emotions such as sadness and hurt, the constant need to stay busy, the appearance of having it all together and being outwardly strong while inwardly struggling to hold it together may indicate some signs of high functioning depression. The subtleties of these symptoms only serve to intensify the motivation for Sistahs to suffer in silence and perpetuate a never ending stream of strength t...

I was speaking with a Black woman regarding depression and she stated that she felt weak because she was depressed. She stated that she often buries, avoids the feelings, or tells herself that "you don't have time for this and you should be able to get through this and keep it moving without feeling depressed." My questions, what are the origins of this internal dialogue and how in the world do wo...

Happy New Year! A clean slate, a redo, a reset, and a new beginning are associated with a new year. Many were glad to be done with 2023 and are considering the unknowns of this new year. Although there may be little influence with the unknowns; opportunities await with making life giving and life sustaining choices. Self-care, community care, and self-awareness are concepts worth exploring and inv...

Love and belonging are needs listed in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Love and a sense of belonginess provide a sense of anchoring and connectedness that humanity desperately desires but simultaneously fears. Opening up to love and admitting a desire to belong is vulnerable and scary due to past hurts. Some may deny the need to belong or try to avoid experiencing love but it doesn't mean the need go...