Stuck Not Broken

In this episode, Justin Sunseri sits down with Erick Cloward, host of the Stoic Coffee Break podcast, for a deep dive into the Stoic practice of Amor Fati, or "loving your fate." Learn how to connect ancient Stoic wisdom with modern nervous system science. Erick and Justin discuss how to use principles from Stoicism and Polyvagal Theory to practice self-regulation, manage anxiety, and build emotio...

The Polyvagal Theory has transformed how we understand the nervous system—but somewhere along the way, it became a wellness industry bandwagon. In this episode, I'm breaking down how a legitimate scientific framework got diluted into oversimplified soundbites, and why that matters for your actual healing. 🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free communit...

When your partner is in shutdown, you're not just watching it happen—you're in it too. This episode is for the partners who feel like they're losing their person, who don't understand what's happening, and who wonder if they're making it worse. In this episode, I break down: What shutdown actually looks like (and why it's not a choice) What you CAN'T control (and why that matters) 4 concrete ways...

EMDR is everywhere — but do you know what's actually helpful? Or if it is at all? EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become one of the most talked-about trauma treatments around. But most people — and, honestly, many therapists — reduce it to one image: a finger waving in someone's face. That shorthand is costing people clarity about what's actually working. In this episode,...

A paper co-authored by 39 scientists called the Polyvagal Theory "untenable" — and now psychology influencers are announcing the Theory is "dead." But is it? I'm Justin Sunseri, therapist and member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board. That means I review work for Polyvagal Theory accuracy. So let me actually look at the claims. In this episode, I break down Paul Grossman's paper "Why the...

Is your self-help routine actually making things worse? The self-help industry has one answer for everything: do more. More habits, more discipline, more effort. But for a nervous system that's already overwhelmed — stuck in sympathetic flight/fight, freeze overdrive, or dorsal shutdown — more doing can mean more frustration, more overwhelm, and more defeat. In this episode, I break down 5 common...

Stop forcing yourself to relive the most painful moments of your life before your body is ready to handle them. Traditional therapy often skips the most critical step — building the physiological capacity to actually process what comes up. Justin Sunseri breaks down why flooding your system with past trauma makes things worse, and what to do instead. 🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recogn...

Justin Sunseri dives deep into the paradox of meditation and anxiety. If you've ever felt that meditation or breathing exercises make you more anxious, you're not alone—and you're definitely not broken. Justin explains how your nervous system might be signaling for a different approach, especially for those who experience freeze dominance. 🌸 What You'll Learn: Why freeze types often need movement...

Does a mental health diagnosis explain why you are suffering, or does it just give your suffering a name? In this episode, I challenge the traditional way we look at mental health labels. While a diagnosis (like depression, anxiety, or ADHD) can be a helpful shorthand for professionals, it often becomes a trap for the person receiving it—convincing them they are "broken" rather than adapting to th...

What if I told you that your ability to practice Stoicism isn't just about willpower or mindset—but about the actual physiological state of your nervous system? In this episode, I dive deep into a profound quote from Epictetus that perfectly illustrates how our autonomic nervous system affects our capacity to respond wisely to life's challenges. Using the metaphor of water, light, and appearances,...

There's more to me than Polyvagal Theory—I'm also a dad. And sometimes the best lessons come from the most unexpected places... like watching my son walk barefoot in sandals through a cold, rainy parking lot. In this reflective episode, I share a simple family moment that reminded me: mindfulness looks different for everyone. When my son told me he loves feeling "the air flowing between his toes,"...

"That was a long time ago. I don't think it affects me anymore." Have you ever said this about something from your past? In this deeply personal episode, Justin shares his own recent experience of discovering how past trauma still lives in the body—even when we're not thinking about it. After a major spinal surgery in 1997, Justin thought he'd moved on. But when new back issues required x-rays nea...

A balloon floated down from the hotel ceiling. My son said, "Hit it back." I was sitting on a bench, quietly processing—reflecting on a loud, joyful Italian family reunion the night before, thinking about my upbringing, the conversations with my brothers, how my wife and I are raising our own kids. I wanted to stay in that quiet space. But then a wave of irritation hit me. And in that fraction of...

When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it? In this episode, I break down: ✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe ✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying) ✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works...

Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should . In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good....

Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching? In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those...

Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others. Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving,...

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity. In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that...

Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactic...

Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance. ⏰ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction and Question...

A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing. 🔑 Key Topics Covered: • Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire • The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states • Why safet...

Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack." 🎯 What You'll Learn: • Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation • How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool • The differe...

Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? I share three practical strategies to reduce overwhelm and finally get things done. Learn how to find safety, soften your defensive state, and take small, almost effortless steps forward. This episode is a replay of a free webinar from the Unstucking Academy. Discover actionable tips to improve your daily life and reach your goals without feeling stressed. T...

Learn how the Polyvagal Theory helps explain healthy boundaries through a combination of safety and sympathetic activation. Episode Introduction and Context — 0:00 Understanding Ventral Vagal Safety State — 0:34 Balancing Safety and Sympathetic Activation — 1:16 Proactive Practice for Boundary Setting — 3:29 Compassionate Boundary Enforcement — 5:16 Realistic Expectations and Self-Connection — 7:2...

Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body c...