Sideways

This week Martin & I record an entire episode without pressing the record button and have to do the whole thing all over again. I imagine you find us quite inspiring. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for listening, we really appreciate it.

This week, we're talking about what we expect from ourselves and others, and how that can sometimes make life much harder and more disappointing than we'd like it to be. We discuss the importance of recognising that not everyone sees the world the way that we do and that few people in our lives are mind-readers. We also cover the topic of taking down Christmas decorations too early, Star...

This week we're talking about how we make judgements about people long before we have enough information to form an accurate opinion. Martin comes clean about misleading me in the last episode, we identify Hollywood A-lister Julia Roberts as someone familiar with wild and unsubstantiated evaluation, and conclude that it's always best to steer clear of a leopard, especially if it's b...

This week we're talking about the things that cause most of us stress at Christmas but might pose particular problems for anyone in recovery. Martin struggles to get into the festive spirit and reveals some startling gaps in his knowledge when it comes to Christmas movies, although he does find some seasonal mirth in a gift once given to me by my great uncle. His gratitude for a particular fe...

This week we're talking about messing things up and the way we respond when we inevitably do it. There's a lot of talk about seasonal fruit, the appearance of the Messiah in a satsuma, goalkeeping trouble caused by an orange segment, and my own DIY disaster involving a bathroom carpet. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grah...

This week we’re talking about the genius ways in which addicts can source their drugs of choice, hide them up from prying eyes, and generally give the impression that everything is fine when it patently isn’t. We also discuss how, if put to positive use, this imagination, tenacity, and creativity can turn lives around in the most remarkable ways. Martin discovers a kindred spirit in a much loved C...

This week we're talking about the dangers of attending the work Christmas party, especially for those in recovery. We consider some of the strategies you might want to adopt if refusing to attend isn't an option. We also have a disagreement over the gratitude lists and discuss a remarkable brush with celebrity. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You...

This week we're talking about the tyranny of perfectionism, how some people wear it proudly like a badge of honour, and how it is really nothing of the sort. There are a few helpful tips if you're interested in getting your perfectionism under control. We also cover haircuts, disappointing holiday hotels,  and the strange things people force themselves to enjoy when they'd really ra...

This week we're discussing the reasons why we often find it hard to ask for help even when we desperately need it. We talk about how we're not the only one's who lose out when we suffer in silence too. In an unusually serious episode we still find time to cover a collection of chips,  the quality of tea in hotels, farmers markets, and middle class apples. https://www.grahamlandiwell...

This week we're talking about "the green-eyed monster" itself. We discuss the difference between jealousy and envy, which I still get confused about. We look at the different types of jealousy and the ways in which they might indicate either a deeper emotional disturbance or what they say about you rather than the person towards whom you feel jealous. If that weren't enough we...

This week we're talking about what we need to do in order to rebuild others' trust in us when we have done something that has hurt or disappointed them. We talk about a guy who took ignoring calls from an unrecognised number to a new level, debate what we’d put into room 101, and wonder whether a celebrity tribute act can be the cause of alcoholism. Mispronunciation, getting caught short...

This week we're talking about humility. What is it, how do we get it, and why does it matter. It's also our 100th episode so, as you can imagine, we were partying like you wouldn't believe. So much so in fact that we strayed into the area of hernias, our three favourite pigs, and a lot of other nonsense that we know you've come to expect. Thank you to all of you who listen. We...

This week we're talking about why funerals present such a lot of potential triggers for anyone in recovery. We also discuss experiences of being close enough to touch the Queen without actually doing so, ridiculously extravagant restaurants, the importance of making a death plan, and funeral music. Martin tells me what he definitely doesn't want on his funeral playlist, and I tell him ab...

This week, in response to a question we got from a listener, we're debating the difference between abstinence and recovery. Martin finds it difficult to show any sympathy for my particularly nasty head cold, I remember a time my ex-girlfriend confused Uri Geller with a famous cosmonaut, and Martin inadvertently comes up with a great band name for an REM tribute act. https://www.grahamlandiwel...

This week we're talking about whether it's possible to live a life without regret and, if not, can we make use of what seems to be such a destructive emotion? We also cover favourite sandwiches, selling off your football medals, Frank Sinatra, and we both go all multi-lingual, momentarily. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@...

This week we're talking about what causes boredom and the terribly destructive things we sometimes have a tendency to do when we feel bored. In the course of the conversation, we touched on a range of topics including "The Young Ones",  queues at petrol stations, ramraiding bakeries, and wetting yourself. Don't miss it. It's not boring. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co....

This week we're talking about the way we use the word ego and what it takes to keep it under control. I urge Martin not to look into its Freudian roots and instead we discuss indoor shoes, reasons for getting caned at school, and scrap metal. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for listening...

This week we're talking about the things that make us cringe and why avoiding awkward situations might have negative consequences. Martin finds it hard to let go of my past mistakes and displays a distinct aversion to the sound of silence. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for listening, w...

This week we're talking about the difference it can make to overcoming mental health difficulties when you believe that you can. While trusting the process of change won't be enough on its own for most of us a belief that we are unchangeable will definitely block progress. I have a new box of pencils, and Martin celebrates the completion of a project. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co....

This week we're talking about why empathy is far more valuable than sympathy, and how the former creates connection while the latter tends to break it. Martin has another obituary for us, I wax lyrical about driving over a bridge, there's some fascinating talk about moccasins and foot spa's, and a predictable but appropriate addition to the Spotify playlist. https://www.grahamlandiw...

This week we're talking about the debilitating issue of sleeplessness. We discuss what causes the problem, how we have a tendency to perpetuate it in ourselves, and what we can do to address it. Martin has a new mic, we reminisce about a re-write of a classic children's storybook, and touch on the purpose of cheap lager. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substac...

This week we're talking about trauma. Where it comes from, what it looks like, and how we might go about treating it. We also have a conversation about dead birds, an unfathomably large breakfast, and smoking weed in an immersive art exhibition. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/ You can email us at info@grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk Thanks again for listen...

This week we're talking about assumptions. We discuss why we're obsessed with making up things we don't really know and why it tends to have a really destructive impact on our lives. In addition, we cover a whole range of other topics including the price of bedding, corporate speak, Agatha Christie and her thoughts on assumption, religious cults, and John Denver. We also ponder the...

This week we're talking about why rejection hurts so much, what makes us take everything so personally, and why it's often better to let go at the times when we most want to hold on. We also discuss leather trousers, the usefulness of swearing, and how Martin reacted to being left out of the squad for a cup final. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ https://grahamlandi.substack.com/...

This week we're talking about why we find it hard to make decisions, why we say yes when we mean no, and how we can relieve our stress and anxiety by confronting the issues that make us stressed and anxious. In addition, we mourn the demise of early closing and black football boots, Martin gets some feedback, and we disagree about Yorkshire Pudding. https://www.grahamlandiwellbeing.co.uk/ htt...