If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me

Welcome to Late Night Stormtrooper Pal, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we keep it intense with the "Forever." In this episode, it breaks down like this: Plot and Firsts (2:30) Monkey's Paw (10:00) Initial Thoughts (17:00) Scene-by-Scene: Casket & Meeting (24:00) Scene-by-Scene: Spike (30:00) Scene-by-Scene: Funeral (32:00) Scene-by-Scene: Xander & Anya (34:00) Scene-by-...

Welcome to Draconian Katra, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we try to keep ourselves together as we discuss the masterful sixteenth episode of Season 5: "The Body." In this episode, we meander through: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initial Thoughts and our first time watching this (12:00) Our first attempt through "The Body" — takeaways and negative space(22:00) A more structure...

Welcome to The Seed of Wonder, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, the one before the one, "I Was Made to Love You." In this episode, after our plot and firsts (1:30) and initial thoughts (6:00), we dive in scene-by-scene: Training room (10:00) Joyce/Dawn/Buffy scene (19:00) Transition scene with Anya and Tara (23:00) The party scene (24:30) Babysitting scene (34:45) Back to...

Welcome to The Seal of Danzalthar, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we reunite with the OG Black Beauty, Drusilla, in "Crush." In this episode, we talk: Joss Whedon revelations (2:00) Plot and Firsts (9:30) Angel Update (14:30) Hunchback of Notre Dame (20:00) Episode — including creepy Spike, a soul versus a chip and ask how Spike hadn't been disinvited earlier (37:00) We...

Welcome to I'm Eating This Banana, Lunch Time Be Damned, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we finally get to the bottom of all this Key talk with "Blood Ties." In this episode, we talk: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initial Thoughts (10:00) Dawn and adoption (13:30) Different approaches to Dawn (22:00) Knights(27:00) Clearing up misconceptions of the Monks and Ben/Glory timeline –...

Welcome to Ms. Barton's Performance Review, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we have a very special episode! Because Kelly and Stacia's audio died tragically, Daniel narrates "Checkpoint" as a stop gap. In this episode, we (Daniel as all characters) talk: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Unstructured episode talk — quick cuts, the theme of power, shadowy organizations and if the Cou...

Welcome to Unidentified Telepath Demons, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we hang with Olaf and get to know Anya better in "Triangle." In this episode, we discuss: Initial Thoughts (12:00) Trolls (16:00) Willow vs. Anya - over love of Xander (32:30) Yelling (45:00) Watches (1:07:45) Rankings (1:12:00) / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | I...

Welcome to 5 by 5, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week close out the long Season 4 with "Into the Woods." [This is our first remote episode of a small suite of episodes – to S5E13, "Blood Ties" – that'll feature overdubs or complete recreations. Please, do not be alarmed!] In this episode, we talk: Context (2:00) Initial Thoughts (6:00) Buffy and Riley breakup and the ending...

Welcome to Espresso Pump, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we listen to fear with "Listening to Fear." In this episode, we talk Plot and Firsts (2:00) Tunguska event (6:40) Initial Thoughts, like how this is a Season 2 episode with the emotional weight of 5 years of friendships (15:30) Daniel's Monk Dunk is blocked (26:00) Yelling (45:30) Watches (1:06:30) Rankings (1:08:3...

Welcome to Besieged, Bedeviled, and Beheaded, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week marks our first ever remote episode (which you can tell by Daniel's mic slowly becoming more robotic, but not unlistenable!) but hardly the first "Shadow" on our podcast record! In this episode, we discuss: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initial Thoughts (i.e. why we don’t like this episode) (4:00) Char...

Welcome to Sid the Wily Dairy Gnome, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we go deep with Spike in the classic "Fool for Love" In this episode, we discuss: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initital Thoughts (8:00) Buffy confronting death & the Council (10:00) Beat-by-beat episode (22:00) Spike (30:00) Angel Update (38:00) Boxer Rebellion (41:00) Spike’s monologues (51:00) NYC 1977 (55:...

Welcome to Fire Bad Tree Pretty, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we pour it all out for Tara in this very special episode all about "Family." In this episode, we get into: Plot and Firsts (1:30) Initial Thoughts (7:30) Sappho (15:00) Family (27:00) We close the show with our usual yelling (45:00), watches (1:05:00), and our rankings (1:07:30). / Full show notes at our web...

Welcome to The Electric Kool-Aid Funky Satan Groove, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we learn about keys and dunk on Joyce in "No Place Like Home." In this episode, we discuss: Plot and Firsts (2:00) The Dagon Sphere (5:00) Initial Thoughts (14:30) Dawn and the Monks — including big questions: If you don't care for Dawn after this, will you ever?;  the cause of Joyce's an...

Welcome to Reliable Dog Geyser Person, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we talk Castro, knitting and rock punching with "Out of My Mind." In this episode, we talk: Plot and Firsts (1:30) 638 Ways to Kill Castro (10:30) Initial Thoughts (24:00) Spike Knits? Other hobbies? (29:00) Initiative still exists (35:00) If Spike got chip removed, would he have killed Buffy and would...

Welcome to Yam Sham, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we get double the Xander with "The Replacement." In this episode, we talk: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Twins (9:00) Initial Thoughts (21:30) Episode Talk (28:00) — including: Xander becoming foreman? Can you heat up Spaghetti-O's on a dryer? Would Toth have succeeded in killing Buffy if he hit her instead of Xander? And woul...

Welcome to Maple Court, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we get to hang out with our regular, recurring, series-long favorite character, Buffy's sister, Dawn! It's wild that she's feel no one knows the "real" her, she's been here the whole time! In this episode, we discuss: Context (2:00) The Game of Life (7:00) Initial Thoughts (12:30) The world through Dawn’s eyes (21:00...

Welcome to The Many Faces of Jeff Kober, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week WE BEGIN SEASON 5 OF BUFFY with the iconic "Buffy vs. Dracula." In this episode, we discuss: Context (2:00) Dracula (12:00) Initial Thoughts (29:00) Dawn (34:00) Our friends and Dracula (40:00) Yelling (55:30) Real Podcast and Watches (1:06:00) Rankings (1:10:30) / Full show notes at our website / @b...

Welcome to If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me, also known as the world's second favorite Buffy podcast.  This podcast follows Buffy the Vampire Slayer in real-time, 20 years after the series' original airing.  In each episode, we contextualize, talk, teach, yell, watch and rank each episode.  Season 5 begins on September 26 but there's time to start from the beginning. Well, maybe not from the begin...

Welcome to Spordilla, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we listen to the divisive classic, and Season 4 finale, "Restless" In this episode, we talk: Plot and Firsts (2:00) Dreams (7:00) Initial Thoughts (21:30) Pre-Dream (23:00) Willow's Dream (28:00) + an aside on Joss Whedon Xander's Dream (43:00) + other TV dream sequences Giles Dream (1:04:00) Buffy's Dream (1:11:00) I...

Welcome to Daphne Blake, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we close our penultimate finale with Buffy's penultimate finale, "Primeval." In this episode, we talk Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initial Thoughts (8:00) + Vampire Diaries aside Finale talk (14:00) What if we took the Initiative out? (25:30) Yelling (38:00) Watches (57:00) Rankings (1:03:00) / Full show notes at our web...

Welcome to The Box of Gavrok, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we watch our Slayerettes dissolve before our eyes in "The Yoko Factor." In this episode, we talk Plot and Firsts + reboot news and Dolly Parton (1:30) Initial Thoughts (6:00) Spike's Manipulations (10:30)Giles (11:00)Willow/Tara (16:00)Xander (24:30) Legendary Angel Update (33:00)Angel/Buffy/Riley (41:00) Yell...

Welcome to Jeff Orkin, Rest in Peace, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we see what happens when Oz returns in "New Moon Rising." In this episode, we talk Plot and Firsts (2:00) The importance of this episode, in general (5:00) Gay TV (10:00) Back to Buffy (41:30) We close, as usual, with some  yells (46:00) watching (1:04:00) and  ranking (1:06:00), where we talk relations...

Welcome to The Sofa in Hell, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we brave the orgasm wall to bring you Season 4's eighteenth episode, the close of the Tracey Forbes trilogy, "Where the Wild Things Are." In this episode, we talk Plot and Firsts (2:00) Initial Thoughts (6:30) Georgia Tann and early 20th century adoption (12:30) Buffy/Riley/Orgasm Wall (24:00) Xander/Anya (26:0...

Welcome to Chapter 11, Assassination and Infiltration, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we spend a day with the world's most interesting man, star of The Matrix , living legend, Jonathan!  In this episode, we talk: Our first week of quarantine (1:00) Plot and Firsts (2:30) Is Jonathan.com a real website; is Space Jam ? (11:00) Initial Thoughts in a COVID world (17:00) The...

Welcome to The Fruit Roll Ups of Love, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we conclude our cliffhanger with Season 4's sixteenth episode, "Who Are You." In this (long) episode, we talk: Plot and Firsts (3:30) Body Swaps (6:30) Initial Thoughts (20:00) SMG as Faith (23:00) Joyce (27:30) Scooby Meeting (31:00) Jumping to end with Faith pretending to be good — Faith on Angel —...