Great Night Audio Feed

Brian and Justin unpack Kelly Clarkson’s Art of Play saga: a $15,000 mechanical bird, a secret magic theater, and a PR response that sets off Brian’s “smuggy sense.” They react to Pablo Torre’s coverage, imagine a floppy-disk repair shop with a very different business model, and debate how internet arguments spiral. Plus, Texas campaign rumor chaos, Brian’s new scale, and a bonus detour into the k...

Brian and Justin become the Chemicals, Brother, remember Dennis Haskins and Mr. Belding’s college-tour karaoke magic, and turn Patreon’s monthly billing into a Genesis story. Brian’s family bonds over hating Forgotten Island before Resident Evil wins him over, while Justin discovers that elaborate AI roasts may be a terrible way to make friends. Plus: secret audio-track messages, the worst possibl...

Brian and Justin pitch a museum for ancient viral videos, unpack the reaction to their Flock camera experiment, and imagine a future where your robot keeps up with your friends. Brian calls Penny with a horrifying Battlestar Galactica robot-dog revelation, Australian cartwheel bans inspire a defense of dodgeball, and a trip to the mall ends with unlicensed dogs.

Scott Sigler returns with Beasts Beyond the River, and Brian and Justin immediately try to saddle him with Kentucky Vikings, a cursed Joker movie, and a Blazing Saddles remake. Scott recounts his Les Grossman turn at DragonCon, the boys debate where your less-than-five-star reviews should go, and a discussion of football jet lag gives way to supposedly fictional traffic stops involving David Blain...

Justin returns from DragonCon with a child who thinks Minnie Mouse’s catchphrase is screaming, a stranger who thinks he’s cosplaying as himself, and an $80 plate of shitty eggs. Brian discovers he can instinctively hold a baby, everyone gets reacquainted with the Marriott carpet lore, and the boys fall deeply and sincerely in love with Bethy Love Light and “Hemp Holy Hemp.” Plus: the slowest bar i...

Hunter Biden says he’s 48% gay, so Brian and Justin build the only scale precise enough to define the Hunter Zone, cross the Rubicock, and calculate dongs over the denominator. A real plane-broker sponsorship sends the boys reaching for God’s flaps, Ryan fails the Cryptkeeper test, and his complete lack of Terminator knowledge gives us a killer robot from Planet Terminator who loves lava. Plus: Bu...

Brian pitches the only time-loop movie Hollywood is too cowardly to make: a man trapped inside a Weimaraner who has to stop 9/11. Justin goes AI psychotic over music nobody else knows, Brian accidentally shaves off his face and gets his magic show back into fighting shape, and the boys announce their return to DragonCon before revisiting the Pope rap, Dolly Parton’s perfect game, Josie’s first wee...

Brian and Justin realize they met in Bush’s America and they’re approaching the point where they’ve spent more of their lives doing this show than not. Kyle Chandler appreciation, getting accidentally lost on a seven-mile run, Josie’s mythical freshman apartment, baby-giraffe mania, The Pitt’s scam apocalypse, Jar Jar optimism, and way too much information about LBJ. Get an extra episode every wee...

Justin's daughter has no time for Goofy, Winnie the Pooh shows the boys a deeply unfortunate angle, and Brian and Justin return from Vegas blessed by the favor of the Yeti. Plus: skyline urinals, the free money store, an AI begging Brian not to violate the style guide, Penny's war for the M dash, and the law of Zeus. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian and Justin review The Odyssey, call Josie for the spiciest possible take, uncover Brian Brushwood’s forgotten 1998 CD-ROM masterpiece: Pro Asshole Blackjack, and learn that every beach fucking blows. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian gets his 51-year-old baby tooth shaved down and immediately fixes the show. Justin and Brian debate the literally overheated way to see The Odyssey, give the Doomsday trailer a “needs improvement,” and plant a flag for a town-to-town Ben Grimm procedural. Plus: forced scam operations, a deeply inadvisable dictator T-shirt, Austin’s NGO audit, Laura Bush crushing on C-SPAN, evil Krusty the Cl...

Brian is back from a two-week road trip, and unfortunately he’s a golf guy now. After driving 14 hours straight into the studio, Brian and Justin clear the abandoned Bones Q&A, then unpack American Pride in Mobile, an empty zoo-water-park-roller-coaster, father-daughter freestyle battles, a surprise family-reunion magic show, and a robot-built guide for getting Brian’s daughters to tolerate ro...

Brian is banned from doing content, so OhDoctah steps in to debate Sydney Sweeney, roast Supergirl, explain Black Gritty, and watch World Cup tourists discover free refills, Texas Roadhouse, and America. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian has kept his mouth shut for three days, which can only mean one thing: it is finally time to discuss Toy Story 5 and the shockingly loaded mechanics of a potty-training device named Smarty Pants. Justin and Brian also get into Supergirl, Captain Marvel amnesia, DragonCon uncertainty, Brian’s Defcon/social-engineering gauntlet, Madison Square Garden getting hacked, and the dawning realization...

This week, Brian and Justin recap CSICon, Bill Nye proximity, Buffalo wing science, and the Left Bank ravioli that somehow became an Indiana Jones unit of measurement. Plus: Mel Brooks on a plane, Niagara Falls propaganda, a Canadian boat with a mean streak, sports week nonsense, and Temu ads that may or may not be pornography. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatn...

Brian may be haunted, dusty, gassy, or simply cursed by three beeps. Gmail becomes a virus-spewing kaiju, Codex may or may not be powered by an enchanted stone, and Justin waits to see if Apple AI is finally good enough to make him eat his pants. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian and Justin bravely decide the show is good now. Brian gambled with illegal coolant and somehow walked away with a new AC unit, Justin nearly accuses a daycare of building a case against his family, and 60 Minutes being the accidental dessert after America gets drunk on football. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian’s studio is cool again, possibly through maritime crime. After getting pitched a $35,000 AC replacement, he consults ChatGPT, invokes his coolant rights, and discovers the wonderful world of “illegal” refrigerant. Also: aerial floods, Comcast surrendering to piracy, a possible Great Night landline hotline, Tom Merritt’s BTS business trip, asshole blackjack theology, video iPods, Zunes, the f...

  Brian survives a graduation weekend with one bar a service, a failed notary quiz, and speedrunning the Bush Center. Plus, Erick Dickerson brings everyone to Football Land. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian and Justin break in the new wall of monitors. Then Penny does the math on not studying for Japanese. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

The guys get mindful, immediately weaponize it, and then call Brian's daughters for live fact-checking. Penny fights the academic final boss over one freshman-year grade. Bella discovers bagels. Plus: beaver edits. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

A White House Correspondents’ Dinner party turns into journalist-on-journalist violence, Jim Acosta plays sanctimonious Ron Burgundy, and Justin accidentally becomes Saul Goodman for Michael Tracy. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian and Justin try to figure out what happens when The Onion buys InfoWars and why it's like building media company in a haunted house. Arnold Schwarzenegger keeps missing the exit, Brian’s colon becomes a Patreon pitch, and Justin gets ready for DC nerd prom. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

Brian gets robbed of productivity by trying to enhance productivity, survives YouTube’s “No, boy, no”, relitigates Dana Carvey’s H.W. Bush “yeah,” and ends with reverse Mr. Beast. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!

It’s Monday Night Great Night: Brian gets Judas’d over IHOP on Spy Wednesday, Jesus runs Seal Team Six into hell, Texas threatens to split into four states, and the guys end up whispering Great Night ASMR until a tab goes Don Knotts. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!