Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen

"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it." Episode 49 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1985 time travelling, flux capaciting, 1.21 gigawatting classic Back To The Future. Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen's tumour, Nelson's hair and how hot your younger Mum would have to be before you pumped her.  Please get in touch and let us k...

"I like these calm little moments before the storm." Episode 48 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 family slaying, contract killing, inappropriate sleepovering classic Leon The Professional. Mark and Ryan talk about how easy it would be to kill a pensioner, drinking milk in a car and why this film is just Luc Besson living out his weird fantasy life.  Please g...

"Lawrence of my labia" Episode 47 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 camel riding, gay weddinging, hot nanny obsessing, desert storm of shit Sex And The City 2.  Mark and Ryan talk about rainy music festivals, selling a house and how this film manages to be simultaneously racist, sexist, classist, homophobic and truly awful.  Please get in touch and let us kno...

"I always was a sucker for a redhead." Episode 46 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 Porsche jacking, Ferrari boosting, low-riding classic, Gone In 60 Seconds. Mark and Ryan talk about what they would do for £27 million, lawnmowers and why no one in this film is good at their job. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd...

"I put a bird on my head." Episode 45 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 altar jilting, closet building, Vivienne Westwooding, binfire Sex And The City. Mark and Ryan talk about Eurovision, why not one character in this horrific film is likeable at all and Cullen reads Nelson some of James Joyce's love letters.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy...

"Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?" Episode 44 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984, leg weeping, body bag getting, wax on/wax offing classic The Karate Kid.  Mark and Ryan talk about the bald men meeting up, Nelson becoming an ice bath guy and Cullen's theory on how Miyagi made his money.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, w...

"You're an inanimate f**cking object" Episode 43 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008, sight-seeing, Canadian punching, alcove dwelling classic In Bruges.  Mark and Ryan talk about the Irish, Belgium and how to survive a tsunami.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a fi...

"GET OFF MY PLANE" Episode 42 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997, plane hijacking, Harrison Fording, shite CGI-ing classic Air Force One.  Mark and Ryan talk about balaclavas, Cullen trying to organise a game of 5's and what cool things Air Force One actually has? Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in...

"Not at the table Carlos" Episode 41 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2009, teeth pulling, tiger stealing, hooker marrying classic The Hangover.  Mark and Ryan talk about Lady Gaga, treating a cut thumb and of course, VEGAS BABY. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film...

"Sometime I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." Episode 40 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, world saving, portal opening, 6ft rabbiting classic Donnie Darko. Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen getting a cat, teenage angst and why you are a bellend if you have an expensive bike.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests yo...

"Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds." Episode 39 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989, caped crusading, rhubarb rubbing, pale moonlight dancing classic Batman.  Mark and Ryan talk about horny Joker, the Bat Cock and take smelling salts during the record.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future epi...

"People look at me and see my brother." Episode 38 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, kerb stomping, flag waving, shower assaulting classic American History X. Mark and Ryan talk about the Oscars, Edward Furlong and how many books Hitler wrote.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes a...

"Those damn Gideons" Episode 37 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996, mask wearing, disavowing, NOC list stealing classic Mission Impossible.  Mark and Ryan talk about peanuts, old email addresses and the worst thing you could steal from the CIA. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and...

"I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit" Episode 36 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007, frisbee throwing, breast showing, penguin's ass eating shitshow Good Luck Chuck.  Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being in Australia, red pandas and they struggle to convey how truly truly awful this film is.  Please get in touch and let us know if you...

"Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met" Episode 35 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998, oil drilling, astronaut training, don't wanna miss a thinging classic Armageddon, Mark and Ryan talk about accidental racism, animal crackers in pubic hair and how mental a bastard Michael Bay is.  Please get in touch and le...

"Wilsonnnnnnnnn" Episode 34 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000, parcel delivering, fire starting, raft building classic Castaway, Mark and Ryan talk about buying a gun, cursed hats and how long it would take us to shag a volleyball.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest...

"If you're a bird then I'm a bird" Episode 33 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004, emotionally manipulating, care home dying, too many birding film The Notebook. Mark and Ryan talk about Tenerife, Skegness and whether Henry Cavill is better looking than Ryan Gosling.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on...

"Either we heal as a team, or we’re going to crumble, inch by inch, play by play, til we’re finished." Episode 32 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, quarterbacking, tight ending', inch by inching classic Any Given Sunday.  Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being hit by cars, dodgy NFL team names and Willie, Willie Beaman.  Please get in touch and let us know if...

"I have been offered a lot for my work but never everything" Episode 31 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1960, gunslingin', bandit chasin', village savin' The Magnificent Seven. Mark and Ryan talk Nelson's latest injury, cowboy names and Cullen's taxes\. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episo...

"You're my boy Blue" Episode 30 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, going streaking, tranquiliser darting, earmuffing classic Old School. Mark and Ryan talk fraternities, rider demands and argue a lot about Saltburn. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film. Email : ...

"Can you fly Bobby?" Episode 29 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987, gun twirling, toxic wasting, dollar buying classic Robocop. Mark and Ryan talk about the Epstein List, what they got up to over Christmas, and why Murphy dying is all his partner's fault.  Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future...

"I love that word, 'relationship.' Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?" Episode 28 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, spouse betraying, sex obsessed, fat shaming, Christmas classic Love Actually.  Mark and Ryan talk about every single thing that is wrong with this absolute bin fire of a film. (Mark actually quite likes it). Please get in touch and let us k...

"Attaboy Clarence" Episode 27 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1946, moon lassoing, wings achieving, Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life.  Mark and Ryan talk about Christmas gigs, competitive drinking and why life would be better if Ryan had never been born. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in fut...

“Let the kids know that from now on, it's El Padre” Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017, Bono singing, telephone pole cutting, Christmas classic, Daddy's Home 2.  Mark and Ryan talk about auditions, whether you should say "I love You" to your family, and why John Cena does so much charity work. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the pod...

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990, child abandoning, burglar torturing, Christmas classic Home Alone.  Mark and Ryan talk about jumpers, Ryan's first job, and Mark offers up some wild theories about the McAllister family. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see...