A Day at a Time Reflections

We are told that no situation is hopeless. At first, of course, we find this hard to believe. The opposites - hope and despair are human emotional attitudes. It is we who are hopeless, not the condition of our lives. When we give up hope and become depressed, it's because we're unable, for now, to believe in the possibility of a change for the better. Can I accept this: "Not everything that is fac...

"If you're not all right the way you are," it's been said, "it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realize you're all right the way you are, and you'll get better naturally." Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation so difficult that it seems insoluble. The more we think about it, the more we get on our own backs for our imagined inadequacy to overcome the situation and we sink into depression....

As practicing compulsive gamblers, we were all too familiar with depression, that pile-up of dark feelings that seemed to close over our heads at regular intervals. Even now, when I am not making progress at the rate I expect I should be, when I expect a total turnaround in my spiritual self overnight, those familiar feelings of gloom can come calling on me again, if I hold the door open for them....

We're often told that compulsive gamblers are perfectionists, impatient about any shortcomings - especially our own. We tend to set impossible goals for ourselves, struggling fiercely to reach our unattainable ideals. Then of course - since no person could possibly meet the extremely high standards we demand of ourselves we find ourselves falling short. Discouragement and depression set in; we ang...

Though I have prayed at various times in my life, I realized after several months in Gamblers Anonymous that I'd never really prayed properly. I'd always tried to make deals with God, much like a foxhole atheist; I'd always pleaded, "Grant me my wishes," instead of "Thy will - not mine - be done." The result was that I remained self-deceived and was thus incapable of receiving enough grace to rest...

Sometimes, even when friends in and outside of the Gamblers Anonymous Program tell us how well we're doing, we know deep down that we're really not doing well enough. We still have trouble handling life and facing reality on reality's terms. We suspect, at those times, that there must be a serious flaw in our spiritual practice and development. Chances are strong that our trouble lies in either th...

When I wake up. I'll think quietly about the twenty-four hours ahead, I'll ask God to direct my thinking especially asking that it be free from self-pity and from dishonest or self seeking motives. If I have to determine which of several courses to take, I'll ask God for inspiration, for an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then I'll relax and take it easy, confident that all will be well. Can I b...

The Gamblers Anonymous Red Book, in explaining Step Eleven, says "A conscious contact seems to start with daily prayer. What is prayer? To some it is a personal chat with their Higher Power. So each of us can pray as we see fit." If at first prayer seems difficult, you can "fake it until you make it." "In time you will grow to eagerly accept prayer and know the rewards it will give you... Prayer e...

From time to time, I begin to think I know what God's will is for other people. I say to myself, "This person ought to be cured of his illness," or "That one ought to be freed from the abuse she's going through," and I begin to pray for those specific things. My heart is in the right place when I pray in such fashion, but those prayers are based on the supposition that I know God's will for the pe...

I'll begin today with prayer - prayer in my heart, prayer in my mind, and words of prayer on my lips. Through prayer, I'll stay tuned to God today, reaching forward to become that to which I aspire. Prayer will redirect my mind, helping me rise in consciousness to the point where I realize that there's no separation between God and me. As I let the power of God flow through me, all limitations wil...

Prayer can have many rewards. One of the greatest rewards is the sense of belonging it brings to me. No longer do I live as a stranger in a strange land, alien in a completely hostile world. No longer am I lost, frightened, and purposeless. I belong. We find, in Gamblers Anonymous, that the moment we catch a glimpse of God's will-the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and...

"Prayer does not change God," wrote Soren Kierkegaard, "but it changes him who prays." Those of us in the Gamblers Anonymous Program who've learned to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we'd turn down sunshine, fresh air, or food-and for the same reason. Just as the body can wither and fail for lack of nourishment, so can the soul. We all need the light of God's reality, t...

Taking a long hard look at those defects I'm unwilling or reluctant to give up, I ought to rub out the rigid lines I've drawn. Perhaps, in some cases, I'll then be able to say, "Well, this one I can't give up yet…" The one thing I shouldn't say: "This one I'll never give up." The minute we say, "No, never,'' our minds close against the grace of God. Such rebelliousness, as we have seen in the expe...

What causes compulsive gambling? Did we gamble because of some inner flaw or shortcoming or life situation? Gamblers Anonymous: A New Beginning says: "We don't know and... we cannot afford to care. Those who come to us need help immediately... The benefits of introspection and speculation are paltry when compared to the rewards of helping others regain their lives." Although we all want to be rid...

Without freedom from compulsive gambling, we have nothing. Yet we can't be free of our obsession to gamble until we become willing to deal with the character defects that brought us to our knees. If we refuse to work on our glaring defects, we'll almost certainly return to our addiction. If we stay clean with a minimum of self-improvement, perhaps we'll settle into a comfortable but dangerous sort...

Some of us, after we've taken the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and then the Seventh Step, sit back and simply wait for our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. The Gamblers Anonymous Program reminds us of the story of St. Francis working in a beautiful garden. A passerby said, "You must have prayed very hard to get such beautiful plants to grow." The good saint answered, "Yes, I did. But every time I...

I heard someone in the Gamblers Anonymous Program once read, "Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well, regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." That is what Step Seven means to me that I'm going to clean house and will have all the help I need. Do I realize by taking the Seventh Step that I'm not really giving a thing, but in...

So often, in the past, we prayed for things, a windfall, or a streak of luck. I've learned in Gamblers Anonymous that real prayer begins-not ends-in asking God to change me. In fact, that's exactly what the Seventh Step suggests: humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. We ask God for help through His grace, and the amazing thing is that such a prayer is answered if we t...

After we take an inventory, determining and admitting the exact nature of our wrongs, we become "entirely ready," as the Sixth Step suggests, "to have these defects of character removed." Sure, it's easy to feel like that and be "entirely ready" on a morning-after a gambling fiasco, but we know in such desperate moments that our motive may be colored by a misery of the moment. The further we get a...

All of the Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural inclinations and desires; they puncture, squeeze, and finally deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than the Fifth, which suggests that we "admit to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Few Steps are harder to take, yes, but scarcely any other Step is as necessary...

"How does the Gamblers Anonymous Program work?" newcomers sometimes ask. The two answers I most often hear are "very well" and "slowly." I'm appreciative of both answers, facetious as they may first sound, because my self analyzing tends to be faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; at still other times...

As compulsive gamblers, self-delusion was intricately woven through almost all of what we thought and did. We became experts at convincing ourselves, when necessary, that black was white, that wrong was right, or even that day was night. Now that we're in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, our need for self delusion is fading. If I'm fooling myself these days, my sponsor can spot it quickly. And, as...

The Fourth Step suggests we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory-not an immoral inventory of ourselves. The Steps are guidelines to recovery, not whipping posts for self-flagellation. Taking my inventory doesn't mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. By the same token, recognizing the good need not be an act of pride or conceit. If I re...

Inventory-taking isn't always done in red ink. It's a rare day when we haven't done something right. As I uncover and face my shortcomings, my many good qualities will be revealed to me also, reminding me that they have the same reality as my faults. Even when we've tried hard and failed, for instance, we can chalk that up as one of the greatest credits of all. I'll try to appreciate my good quali...

It's often said that you can't tell a book by its cover. For many of us, our "covers" or surface records haven't looked all that bad; it seemed at first, that making an inventory would be "a breeze." As we proceeded, we were dismayed to discover that our "covers" were relatively blemish-free only because we'd deeply buried our defects beneath layers of self-deception. For that reason, self-searchi...