Zero to Zero

Bleh, bleh! I vant to vatch a good movie for a change! Good thing we're starting our journey through the Blade trilogy! Blade is a movie of vampires, but we do the vampire voice less than you'd think. We're too happy to be watching it to think about that stuff! This is the breath of fresh air this podcast needed, and we're all very excited to watch these fantastic films. (People like all three of...

Have we finished Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance? Yes... hell yes! In this breakneck third act, Moreau kills dozens of politicians while Nadya gets a hundred headshots and the devil does yoga. If that doesn't sound like a movie, well, I don't know what to tell you. This week, Nadya sniped. Next week, someone else Snipes! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

scrape scrape Huh, what's that scraping at the door? Could it be a new episode of Zero to Zero talking about Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance? This week is a week of transformations: an excavator becomes a devil, a man becomes a goblin, and the word vengeance becomes vongeonce. Will the movie transform into a good movie? Maybe if our new goblin can become enough of a bumbling sicko! Find out next...

Blackheart and his band of elemental goons have been defeated, but we're not done with Ghost Rider just yet! This time, we're heading to (checks Wikipedia) Romania for the sequel, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance! It's grittier and grayer than before - but will we like it? Or is this going to be another Elektra situation? And, dear God, please, WHAT ARE OUR FAVORITE SANDWICHES?! Sam | Val | Gigali...

We took a week off to mourn the deaths of Gramble and Alligator or whatever their names were, but we're back to finish Ghost Rider! In the thrilling conclusion, we will finally learn the true identity of Sam Elliott (the previous Ghost Rider?!?!) as well as Mack (a dead guy?!?!) Will Ghost Rider be able to defeat the increasingly pathetic villain? I hope not! We were just starting to like the guy!...

It took a little while, but we're finally at the part of Ghost Rider with Ghost Rider! Yes, Nicolas Cage's skin has flaked off to reveal a cool skull on fire. Will acclaimed director Mark Steven Johnson make the movie become epic when the action starts? We've got three element-themed bad guys to deal with, so I hope we get to see some classic earth stuff! If not, I'm sure we'll at least have a sup...

Yee-haw! It's finally time for the rootinest, tootinest superhero movie around: Ghost Rider! Nicolas Cage has finally graced our podcast with his whole deal, and it's either good or something, depending on who you ask! We may not all have the same jelly bean drinking glass of choice, but there's one thing we can all agree on: Mark Steven Johnson is the director ever. Pull up a horse and enjoy - bu...

What a treat 2011 has for us: it's another third act CGI monster fight! Thank you, Green Lantern! Fortunately, the movie also gives us a fight between two human actors (covered in CGI and throwing CGI at each other!) Will the Green Lantern Corps have anything to do? Sorry, there's no room in the movie for that. We've gotta get one of the worst motivational speeches in movie history from Blake Live...

Do you like LORE?! This is the part of Green Lantern where Hal Jordan gets the Green Lantern Corps' knowledge database put in his head to save time on lore dumps. Naturally, we then get a bunch of lore dumps! Meanwhile, Hector Hammond's head is all weird. He feels great! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

At long last, we have arrived at the movie that was so disappointing, it delayed the official start of the DCEU: Green Lantern! Is it as bad as people say? Can it possibly be any worse than the actual start of the DCEU? Not really, but that's an extremely high low bar to clear! Keep us in your thoughts as we witness one of the least likeable protagonists we've dealt with so far. At least we've got...

Thank god, it's our final viewing of Catwoman! Why was this movie so disgusting? In the third act, we're forced to contend with sloppy sushi slurping, smashing Sharing Stone, and a silly sexy sleuth. Still a better love story than Elektra! Next week, we'll be watching something that's been hanging over our heads for a long time now - hopefully we have the willpower to get through it! Sam | Val | G...

Despite a whole bunch of computer internet problems, we're back to discuss Catwoman once again! This is the classic part of any superhero movie where our protagonist discovers their powers, robs a jewelry store, rips up a precious gift from their best friends, and eats seven cans of tuna. It's truly a film like any other! Lastly, Sharon Stone lives up to her name - a joke I just came up with right...

After one of our classic unintended breaks, we're back with Catwoman! Will this movie be as historically terrible as everyone says? As long as it's not as boring as Elektra, I think we'll have a good time either way! We've got Hooba, we've got questionable basketball, what more could you need? Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Against all odds, we survived Elektra! Truly one of the worst movies we've ever seen, in or out of this podcast. Why are all the supervillains so easy to kill? Why is Elektra so incompetent that they basically have to do it themselves? Why was Mark Miller in the movie? We will never have the real answers to these questions, but we'll do our best to try to come up with our own. Next week, we're bre...

Oh boy, we already didn't like Elektra but it's somehow gone downhill in the second act! The villains get worse and the movie gets more racist! We see three minor supervillains die in this part and Elektra didn't do any of it. Why is she even here? She's literally getting upstaged by a tree. Maybe next week she'll contribute something before the movie's over! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Daredevil set the bar very high as a fun bad movie - can Elektra keep the momentum up? Or will it be a slow, boring, dark, miserable slog? Well, not to spoil things, but the character didn't appear on screen for over a decade after this movie came out! Could there be a reason for that? Let's find out! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

It took us way too long for how short the movie is, but we're finally wrapping up Daredevil! We've had a great time with it so far, but will it stick the landing? Or will Colin Farrell turn into a big CGI monster man? Was 2003 before movies became bad? I can't remember! Also, WILL VAL NOTICE JENNIFER GARNER'S WIG??? Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Remember when movies had a three-act structure? This week, we're reminiscing about simpler times as we watch act 2 of Daredevil! Elektra has arrived, and things are somehow very quaint and also horrifically weird at the same time. Matt loves to sniff! We've also got Wilson Fisk and Bullseye to round out the cast. Did you know Colin Farrell is Irish? Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

The reviews are in! We're one third of the way through 2003's Daredevil, and this movie is officially Bad Ass! It's got Seether, and it's got Nickelback, and it's got some of the worst lawyering you'll ever see outside of Ace Attorney! Movies used to be fun! We're never watching anything post-2010 again! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Sorry, this isn't Daredevil! We sat down to talk about it but we ended up reading and laughing at Screenrant for 20 minutes first. Giga will be out of town next week, so rather than post our first Daredevil episode and then take a week off, we decided to make the Screenrant segment its own mini-episode. Did you think Batman v. Superman was bad? Well, you're wrong! Thanks for correcting us, Screenr...

We are finally done with Watchmen! Well, they didn't do the squid. Do we care? Not really! We're focused on a change far more offensive than that: Themes! Who would have thought we'd have a problem with themes from the guy who wrote the Kents telling Superman to let people die? Oh well! That's another movie down. Next time we'll be taking our first daring step outside of the realm of DC Comics! Sa...

Three quarters of the way through Watchmen! The movie continues to be a combination of gross, boring, and most of all, blue! In this week's viewing, Rorschach is unmasked and Nite Owl is un-underweared. Will we find a way to shoehorn a third conversation about food into this episode? Yes! But more importantly, we read some more ScreenRant! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter

Against all common sense, we're back for more Watchmen! In this week's installment, we go to the Comedian's funeral for about an hour (spoilers: Comedian dies in this movie) and follow Doctor Manhattan to Mars where he reminds us of a great chapter from the comic book series Watchmen. With all the talk of war, sexual assault, nihilism, and nuclear armageddon, things get pretty heavy this week. For...

We return once again to the Snyder Mines to experience the hit film of Watchmen 2009! Rorschach is here, and he's got his iconic mask, and the Comedian is here, and he's got his iconic button. Why isn't this movie iconic? It has all the ingredients! Doctor Manhattan even has his iconic butt and balls and penis! What more do audiences need? Beans, you say? Well, Zack has got you covered there, my f...

On this topsy-turvy episode, we talk about the ending of The Suicide Squad! Sam liked it a lot and Val and Giga didn't! You never know what's going to happen on this silly podcast of ours. Join us for a look back on all the Ha Ha Funny dialogue, dramatically satisfying character arcs, and the useless Groots we met along the way. Also, we're now caught up with all the DCEU movies up to this point!...