Why Will No One Date These Guys?

Given all the horrible relationship advice we've discussed on this pod, we were concerned professionals might be reticent to come on, but therapist Lindsay Luv was up for the challenge. Lindsay appears on this episode to talk about her work with marginalized individuals, dating and relationship trends she sees in her patients, her frank advice for young men seeking a partner, and her relation...

We have a very special guest in this episode... the wealthy patron who helps finance our podcast... HALEY DOWNING. We talk about dating, living in San Francisco, and a give a sneak peek of our elusive brother. This episode includes a typical Joel game show as well as plenty of juicy gossip. Who knows, maybe Haley will spill secrets on how to become a prime milf hunter?  One fun note - we decided t...

Mustachio McGraw returns again to blah blah blah. To offset our desire to not discuss the book we bide time by sampling the worst soda we've ever tasted and reveal our new power mantra for the year, 2023: 20-Rigatoni (It makes more sense in context).  There's some sexist statements about how men communicate, some poorly explained filler about male archetypes and how women can use knowled...

Dr Phil is back to give out more advice, some of it weirdly helpful, some of it horribly sexist. We do our best to differentiate the man and our opinions on him from Steve Harvey, but given the similarities between their content and facial hair we do mess up a few times. Our apologies to Mr McGraw.  In these sections Philip tells readers how to work past their trauma from prior relationships, desc...

We spent most of 2022 bagging on Steve Harvey so we figured we'd find a new daytime talkshow host enemy for 2023. Enter Dr Phil, America's favorite substitute for proper mental health education and treatment. After making a splash with his advice show in 2002 he dropped this 2005 gem, a comprehensive guide for women to find their happily ever after. Or at least that was the goal. In Part...

Oh boy, a new year beckons, which means it's time for all you singles to get your resolutions in order and plot your dating strategy for the next 365 days. We've pulled some predictions about new dating trends from Bumble, OK Cupid, Match, and Women's Health, spend a bit too much time digging once more into Match's Singles in America survey, and Joel gives a few predictions of...

Sup, 2023?  If you're like us you're probably still recovering from excessive mulled wine and eggnog consumption but it's time to get cracking on goals for the year. This time Joel and Naomi have some new advice for how to not just set goals but to create the processes necessary to achieve them. Joel brings in "Atomic Habits," a guide that explains how to create the proces...

Happy Holidays to all who celebrate! Patrons got this present early, back in October; subscribe now to access incredible work like this far in advance of the regular audience. It's here, it's finally here. The end of an unending saga, the final piece of the polyptych that forms the life work of one Broderick Stephen Harvey.  It's okay, we guess. Unlike Marry Me it's at least wa...

Joel and Lauren are back in the studio to discuss the phone apps that their entire relationship relies on. No seriously, we are wholly dependent on these and if the internet ever went down our relationship would collapse like a deck of cards.  Keep it up, Al Gore.  We discuss the finance and money apps that keep things equitable, the cleaning app Sweepy that keeps our house in order, the relations...

Naomi and Len sit down in a new series called Coffee Talks and update everyone on what's been going on with them. They touch on intimacy in the bedroom, questions that have come up since Naomi started watching Sex and the City, and so on. This series will include relationship updates as well as advice for individuals in relationships wanting to expand communication in and outside the bedroom....

Lauren, everyone's favorite unpaid cohost, is back to render judgement with Joel once more on the thorniest, and weirdest, relationship dilemmas.  We start with a few life updates, including the saga of Joel's cat's butt's problems, then discuss abandoning your SO in the hospital, the ethics of firing your pregnant fiancée, mothers who reject your wife's baking, wives who...

Naomi and Joel get together one last time to wrap up our discussion of dating in the 20th century, digging into how Freud and Darwin  (amongst others) helped created an idea of "learned" gender and the impact this had on how people were expected to act in the dating world. We also chat about how one can apply the lessons of this book to dating trends these days  and what one might expect...

Joel and Naomi return for a third time to discuss the book we love (ohmigod, something getting equivalent airtime to a Steve Harvey book). We start by discussing what's been keeping us sane this year, before we wrap up the women as commodities section, talk about fake boobs, and finally get into the forbidden topic, S.E.X., talking about who was having it during the early 20th century, what a...

woo. Midterms.  Stuff happened related to abortion, trans rights, and the future of the country. We discuss.  We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get...

Welcome back to part two of maybe four(?) parts of a book exploring date culture in the US in the early twentieth century. Joel and Naomi discuss how WW2 impacted the age people were expected to marry, how authority figures encouraged teens and children to date en-masse to get them married younger,  how "going steady" rose in prominence, and how women and men's value in the date eco...

Just in time for the spoopiest holiday of the year, Joel and Naomi have something truly horrifying to share with the world...a book they really like.  Oh, sure, it lacks the riffability of a Steve Harvey self-help guide or a prolife progressive zine, but it makes up for that with a shockingly well-researched deep dive into the development of American dating culture from the 19th to 20th century. I...

As continued proof that Steve Harvey leaves rent-free in our minds, we return once more to his work with Think Like a Man , possibly the only movie ever based on a romantic advice bestseller (unless John Carter of Mars was loosely based on Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus).  Unlike other media we've reviewed, this one is at least watchable, but Joel takes the opportunity to rant to Nao...

A new dating app for conservatives ("The Right Stuff") recently launched semi-disastrously so we decided to dig into what makes it bad, whether the concept of specialty dating apps even works, and why Peter Thiel is so interested in investing money into a concept that's already been done a dozen+ times in the last decade. We dig up some weird stuff.  If anyone has access to the app...

Well our last official catchup episode was back in October of 2021, so we felt we could fill some time and let our listeners know what we've been up to. The ego on some people, right? We discuss what's new in our lives/relationships, some takeaways from recent travel, what's keeping us sane in these dark times, and some information on both the recently proposed 15 week abortion ban...

This week, Naomi is joined by her boyfriend, Len Zuro, to explore their new favorite reality TV show, F-boy Island. F-boy Island season 1 is a 10-episode season jam-packed with manipulation and a grand prize of 100 thousand dollars. Will the three girls choose the right guys or will they be devastated as the guy they fall in love with is actually an f-boy? Find out here as we review and make fun o...

Naomi went out of town again so Joel and Lauren were left to "Risky Business" up the podcast, fun dance scenes, horrible meal choices, and all. This week we're back once more to discuss partners who get mad at their SOs for not making enough food, loveable pranksters who pretend to throw their girlfriend off the Grand Canyon, mean old boyfriends who don't prioritize ER visits f...

This week we explore The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder . This episode talks about dating taboos, how to impress, and what the traditional "appealing" wear of the time was. During this episode, we talk about the end of WW1 to now. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you...

This week we explore The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder . This episode talks about dating taboos, how to impress, and what the traditional "appealing" wear of the time was. During this episode, we talk about the 1700s to the beginning of WW1. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through...

And we're back with part 2 of John Grey's guide to gender essentialism, a horribly substantiated and poorly-reasoned guide to communicating with and loving your partner better.  Sure, we make fun of it, but we also realize it's had and will continue to have more of an impact on the world than anything we'll ever produce, so maybe we're just jealous? In this part we discuss...

This bad boy was formerly sealed away in the vault, just for Patrons, but enough time has passed that we think the public deserves to see the final part of the Steve Harvey epic saga.  Thrill and chill as Steve Harvey explains to women how to act to convince men they're worthy of value, using the tortured metaphor of sports fish versus keepers. Don't go anywhere though, as he follows tha...