Untoxicated Podcast

More than anything else, recovering a relationship from alcoholism is a huge communication problem. And it isn’t just a problem with the words we choose, it is the modes of communication that keep us stuck...

For alcoholics, there is a direct relationship between the shame from past behaviors, and a tangible liquid called alcohol. For the loved ones of alcoholics, spouses in particular, the source of shame is far less...

Do you remember a correction, disciplinary action or criticism from years or decades ago that still hurts? We bet the person who delivered those words doesn’t remember. Have you ever delivered a message that someone...

There is an enormous relief that comes with shining a light into the dark corners and letting the truth be heard. And it is more than emotional and mental relief – it is vitally important...

Active alcohol addiction is not always loud and chaotic. Sometimes, the silence of the person suffering the pain of addiction causes a different kind of trauma. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Kate to...

Experiencing the addiction and early sobriety of a loved one can feel painful, lonely, chaotic, traumatic, isolating and terrorizing for the spouses of alcoholics. On this episode, Matt asks Sheri to recall the emotions she...

The healing that comes for some in the recovery from alcoholism is the result of hard work. We have to want sobriety for ourselves, and not to appease someone else. We also have to want...

Trust and alcoholism can’t coexist. Intimacy is impossible without trust and vulnerability. So, alcoholism and intimacy are mutually exclusive. If you are in an alcoholic relationship, something important is missing (but you already know that)....

Our family and our friends mean well when they give us advice about our alcoholic marriages. The problem with well-meaning advice from people who have never walked in our shoes is that it often misses...

As an active alcoholic, Matt put a lot of the blame for their dysfunctional marriage on Sheri. In early sobriety, he blamed himself for the overwhelming shame he felt. The whole time, Sheri was convinced...

“I look at the face that looks back at me from the mirror, and it’s jarring. I look like I’ve aged ten years in just this last one. But it’s more than superficial. The heartbreak...

The week after Christmas offers lots of threats to sobriety and mental health. Family tension, financial strain, an overbooked calendar, and festive expectations all lead to stress and pressure that is not relieved when the...

Sometimes, like in Matt’s case, high-functioning alcoholics are also control-freak assholes. Other times, people who abuse alcohol withdraw leaving all the decisions to the spouse or other loved ones. In both cases, there are serious...

“You sure did have a good time at the Christmas party, Matt.” When he was actively drinking, Matt heard statements like that more than a few times. But they carried no shame, because our society...

Just over a year after her husband took his own life while firmly in the grasp of alcohol addiction, Dusti Shay is ready to tell her story for the benefit of others fighting to survive...

Christina Veselak is a mental health nutritionist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a licensed psychotherapist who founded the Academy for Addiction and Mental Health Nutrition, and she agrees with Sheri and Matt that...

Alcohol plays such a prominent role in the Thanksgiving celebrations in our society that the holiday deserves a conversation all its own. On this episode, Sheri and Matt relive their Thanksgivings during his active alcoholism...

Sheri and Matt welcome Dr. Robert Weiss, the author of Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, to the Untoxicated Podcast. Dr. Rob has his PhD (he did his dissertation on codependency) and a masters in social work,...

How do we expect positive outcomes in recovery when all of the language we use has a negative orientation? Stop drinking. Fix your spiritual deficiency. Don’t be codependent. Focusing on positive outcomes is more than...

Halloween specifically, and autumn in general, is a season with high rates of relapse and drunken trauma. We are intentionally releasing this episode about haunting memories of Halloweens in early November because we know so...

There is no doubt that the loved ones of alcoholics are victims, and that they require healing from the disease as the second-hand drinkers. But the label, “codependent,” is often misused to make the loved...

The first year of his permanent sobriety, Matt felt like shit. It wasn’t for lack of recovery effort. His pleasure neurotransmitters that had been hijacked by alcohol just took a year or so to adjust...

When Sheri and Matt were seeking expert advise on restoring intimacy and growing closer together in their post-alcoholic marriage, they turned to the Emily’s: Dr. Emily Morse of the Sex with Emily podcast, and Dr. Emily...

Have you, or has someone you love, ever been absolutely determined to be done with alcohol in the morning, only to be drinking that very same evening? One of the major contributing factors to that...

The popular misperception of an alcoholic marriage is that it always comes down to a frustrated wife trying to decide if she will divorce her alcoholic husband. As is the case with most things related...