Trashwatch

EPISODE 139 – NICK FURY: AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (ft. Lexi Vestey)   “This movie has angles so Dutch it makes Thor look like a Wes Anderson movie.”   This week, Lexi discovers cynicism; Brian has fun with subtitles; Brandon builds a Tears of the Kingdom Helicarrier; Chris gets infested with Mormons; and Ashley cashes pizza checks.   BTW: Kevin Smith’s American Beauty !   Starring: David Hasselhoff,...

EPISODE 138 – SUSIE Q   “We’re all very, very mean to old people in this episode.”   We’re kicking off Small Screen Summer! This week, Ashley “coaches” basketball; Brian gets an ill-timed ad; Brandon gets unlimited breadsticks; and Chris writes some better endings.   BTW: WHAT ARE THE GHOST RULES?!?!?!   Starring: Amy Jo Johnson, Justin Whalin, Shelley Long, Andrea Libman, Garwin Sanford, Chris Wi...

EPISODE 137 – BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER   “I think we have the potential to do to The Flash what we did to Morbius .”   Our Patrons picked a perfect Pride picture! This week, Chris is into Venn Diagrams; Brian demands shorter production logos; and Brandon tries to get Ashley into Pushing Daisies .   BTW: Jebediah Flick, the Liberal Arts Amish!   Starring: Natasha Lyonne, Clea DuVall, Cathy Moriarty, R...

EPISODE 136 – STAR TREK: NEMESIS   “And then he turns and says his famous catchphrase: ‘Sleepytime tea, cold please!’”   This week, Brandon gets sci-fi nonsense; Chris gets a couple good lines in; and Brian gets Brandon boos. (Also Ashley beams in!)   BTW: Picard wants to see Worf’s PHD!   Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Gates Mc...

EPISODE 135 – THE PAGEMASTER   “Guys, we got a sponsorship offer from Wikifeet?”   Another Ashley cameo! This week, Brian has a Culkin realization; Chris makes his worst pitch yet; Brandon finally unveils Sister Act 3 ; and Ashley has camera trouble.   BTW: Squid-ception!   Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Christopher Lloyd, Patrick Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg, Frank Welker, Ed Begley Jr., Mel Harris, Leon...

EPISODE 134 – DETROIT ROCK CITY   “We have a whole new season of I Think You Should Leave references to cram down your throats!”   Surprise—Ashley’s on the call! This week, Brian becomes Dougal; Chris reveals the secret of radio call-ins; Brandon takes a big detour; and Ashley didn’t watch the movie.   BTW: Our KISS identities!   Starring: Edward Furlong, Giuseppe Andrews, James DeBello, Sam Hunti...

EPISODE 133 – LOST IN SPACE (1998)   “Friends don’t let friends watch Lost in Space . So Ashley, I have some bad news…”   One last Ashley pick before her summer hiatus! This week, Brandon’s passion is graphic design; Ashley explains the only two plots of the 90’s; Brian requests a Succession fan edit; and Chris wonders what’s happening on Earth.   BTW: JUST SAY THE TITLE, YOU COWARDS!   Starring:...

EPISODE 132 – BUGSY MALONE   “No one stopped and said, ‘Hmm, is this awful?’”   Musical May ends… oddly. This week, Brian plans the series finale; Ashley awaits unhinged 2020s art; Chris does his Jodie Foster voice; and Brandon nearly burns down the city.   BTW: Theme announcement for June’s Patron Pick!   Starring: Scott Baio, Florence Garland, Jodie Foster, John Cassisi, Martin Lev, Paul Murphy,...

EPISODE 131 – BURLESQUE   “This is No Subtext, but in the bad way!”   Musical May Gets Rough! This week, Brian walks us through film history; Brandon explains Alan Cumming; Ashley tries to figure out the timeline; and Chris ruins a box of cookies.   BTW: This burlesque lounge is hemorrhaging money!   Starring: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Alan Cumming, Eric Dane, Cam Gigandet, Julianne Hough, Peter G...

EPISODE 130 – MUPPETS MOST WANTED   “Brian’s not chill enough to be Rowlf.”   Musical May Goes Muppets! This week, Brian ends the episode immediately; Brandon stands against AI; Chris attacks Brian; and Ashley is Queen Victoria’s Sassy Best Friend.   BTW: The Amber Seals finally unlock Cabin in the Woods !   Starring: Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman, Matt Vog...

EPISODE 129 – THE FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS   “I don’t know why I’m dead inside, I just know I’m dead inside.”   Musical May is back! This week, Ashley reveals how to speak in tongues; Brian takes on The Music Man ; Brandon flexes his Bootyology cred; and Chris curiously spares his wife.   BTW: All-new Jesus liquor!   Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyoncé, Mike Epps, LaTanya Richardson, Eddie LeVert Sr.,...

EPISODE 128 – CONGO   “What is this mirror doing in my face? I do not like the visage on which I gaze!”   This week, Brandon gets custom shirts for collar-tugging; Ashley unbirths Steve Jobs; Brian botches a skit; and Chris relates Congo to The Simpsons .   BTW: Doubt , Now With Lasers!   Starring: Laura Linney, Tim Curry, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson, Grant Heslov, Joe Don Baker, Lola Noh, Mary Elle...

EPISODE 127 – DR. DOLITTLE (1998)   “Let us all join as one podcast and declare that that is so Raven.”   This week, Brian marvels at the exorcism(?); Brandon struggles to make sense of the merger; Ashley reveals her best impression; and Chris has Big Golden Retriever Energy.   BTW: Hop aboard the Pound Truck!   Starring: Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis, Oliver Platt, Peter Boyle, Richard Schiff, Kriste...

EPISODE 126 – PLANET OF THE APES (2001)   “Ah, it is science fiction—Mark Wahlberg is a scientist!”   This week, Brandon personally attacks Clayton; Chris takes a dump at Marky Mark’s house; Ashley supports horny ape women; and Brian returns to the IMDb Parents Guide.   BTW: How to ruin Avatar: The Last Airbender !   Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, P...

EPISODE 125 – AN AMERICAN TAIL: FIEVEL GOES WEST   “Jimmy Stewart saying lewd things is strangely off-putting.”   Animal April Begins! This week, Ashley tries to DeLuise laugh; Brandon has bad news re:Cats in America; Brian narrowly avoids a yellow card; and Chris finds his perfect impression.   BTW: Drunken Jimmy Stewart records his lines in his car!   Starring: Phillip Glasser, James Stewart, Er...

EPISODE 124 – HELLBOY (2004)   “This film opens with a problem caused by the way most problems in life are caused: desperate Nazis.”   We’ve been blessed with this heavenly Patron Pick! This week, Chris gets locked in GDT’s closet; Brandon pitches Joe Pantoliano Rasputin; and Brian praises pancakes.   BTW: The Sexy Misadventures of Rasputin!   Starring: Ron Perlman, John Hurt, Selma Blair, Rupert...

EPISODE 123 – MONKEYBONE   “Please, God, may someone be aroused by my arm flaps!”   Chris and Marrett celebrate their recent marriage with… Monkeybone . This week, Brandon writes Sister Act 3 ; Marrett has a cat-girl theory; Brian delights Ashley’s mom; Chris shocks with his weirdness; and Ashley hates this.   BTW: Henry Selick’s Taliban Fanboys!   Starring: Brendan Fraser, Bridget Fonda, John Tur...

EPISODE 122 – FLUBBER   “How do you vacuum drapes?!” “WITH A VACUUM!”   This week, Chris creates a proton pack; Brian makes some flawless edits; Ashley gives a 0-word review; and Brandon threatens a future episode.   BTW: How Flubber saved Good Will Hunting !   Starring: Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald, Ted Levine, Clancy Brown, Raymond J. Barry, Wil Wheaton, Edie McClurg,...

EPISODE 121 – BLANK CHECK   “We are weird friends. We’re like, ‘Let’s punish my friends. How dare they be friends with me! I’ll teach them!’”   The boys are on their own to talk Blank Check ! This week, Chris has an odd movie mixup; Brandon talks roller coasters; and Brian reads his notes for THAT SCENE.   BTW: The Ferrer-Postlethwaite Animorphs Spectrum!   Starring: Brian Bonsall, Karen Duffy, Ja...

EPISODE 120 – DRAGONHEART   “Where do you buy gloves for dialogue this heavy-handed?”   This week, Brian says AKAB; Brandon has no time for vengeance; Chris ruins the ending; and Ashley reveals her Sean Connery impression.   BTW: Bowen just doesn’t get it!   Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery, Dina Meyer, Pete Postlethwaite, David Thewlis, Jason Isaacs, Brian Thompson, and Julie Christie   Direc...

EPISODE 119 – SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD   “Did Anna Kendrick also date Bill Hader? Is this what you’re saying?” “Yes.” “GIRL, GET IT!”   This week, Ashley is limited to two Succession references; Brandon adds a new Patreon therapy tier; Brian geeks out over his favorite scenes; and Chris looks for the orgasm button.   BTW: The shocking reveal of the next season of Always Sunny !   Starring: Mich...

EPISODE 118 – INTOLERABLE CRUELTY   “God, how many band directors’ daughters are out there named Claire Annette? I feel so bad for them!”   This week, Ashley is proud of her joke; Brian wants the Mrs. Gutman biopic; Chris is barred from giving advice; and Brandon is Sega-sexual.   BTW: A Cricut for Chris!   Starring: George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy Bob Thornton, Geoffrey Rush, Cedric t...

EPISODE 117 – ROMEO + JULIET   “If Baz Luhrmann directed Catcher in the Rye , it would be so powerful it would somehow bring John Lennon back to life.”   We’re getting Baz-pilled, baby! This week, Brian reveals how Paul Rudd changed film history; Brandon is not allowed to be confident; Ashley vents over a line reading; and Chris yells at Orpheus.   BTW: Pitching our Baz literary adaptations!   Sta...

EPISODE 116 – ROMANCING THE STONE   “I have given off every f***ing vibe I can of someone who just wants to be in PJs, chilling with a cat, not doing much.”   This week, Brandon pitches a new Patreon tier; Chris stars in Evening Primrose ; Brian doesn’t want to be a real man; and Ashley catches the adventure bug.   BTW: The Saga of Danny Dorito!   Starring: Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny...

EPISODE 115 – TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE  "When new people try to be my friend, I'm like, 'What's your angle?'" This week, Brandon experiences the horror of Rent ; Chris goes to a radio party; Brian questions dating advice; and Ashley possibly curses next week’s episode.   BTW: M. Emmet Walsh as George Lucas!   Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa...