The SelfWork Podcast

Today we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists themselves online affected the social media culture, while unlicensed influencers are offering mental health advice? We'll focus on five major concerns of the online presence (and often persistenc...

(Note: We are focusing on sexual assault in this episode of SelfWork. If you have a history of sexual assault, please listen with care.) Today we're going to introduce you to the concept of restorative justice . Our guest today is Marlee Liss. You may not have heard of her, unless you closely follow what's happening in the justice system concerning sexual assault. But her voice is a strong...

Grit. What is it? How do you develop it? And how is it important for battling mental illness? And what role does it play in both outer success and inner victory? These are the questions we're going to answer today on SelfWork. Here's leading author Angela Duckworth 's definition of grit, described in her Ted talk . "Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is...

In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Dr. Tara Cousineau about perfectionism and "befriending your inner critic." My guest today, Dr. Tara Cousineau, is an expert on perfectionism's treatment. She's a clinical psychologist, as well as a yogi and mom. And she's a staff psychologist at Harvard's Counseling and Mental Health Services. There are certainly a lot of perfection...

Today we're focusing on finding emotional stability and calm through self-love. Not narcissism – not grandiosity or some kind of over-the-top shouting to the world how great you are. But what exactly self-love is and what it can lead to is our focus. That's self-agency - the ability to act and to feel empowered to do so. Even though we live in a world that repeatedly suggests you can’t be...

In this episode, Dr. Margaret gives her best advice about enmeshment, Anne Burrell’s suicide, and perfectly hidden depression to those that have reached out to her in the past few months. This episode is kind of a grab bag; one comment from a woman who loved Anne Burrell (as a response to a piece I wrote about her), another from a young man in an arranged marriage whose mother is harsh and who he...

Friendships are vital for your sense of well-being. When you know that you have people that you can count on to be there for you when you need them, who you feel solidly connected to. that knowledge can offer a kind of grounding that's unshakeable. Dr. Margaret invites Marisa Franco to SelfWork to discuss how she discovered this for herself, how friendships have provided her with steady caring...

Choosing a career is one thing. However, knowing if it's the right choice for you or if you need to consider other alternatives? That can be more difficult. In this enlightening episode, Dr. Margaret speaks with Ashley Stahl, the author of the best-selling book, You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career  . They delve deep into the complexities of career choices a...

Note: In this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Penny Gray, who lost her husband to suicide. Please read/listen carefully. Here are international numbers of suicide hotlines . Suicide is hard for all, and horrific for others. Why? Because someone they loved died by suicide, and they were absolutely shocked. Not that suicide isn't always extremely hard on those that loved the person who took the...

Bipolar disorder can be very difficult to diagnose. But that pales in comparison to what it can be like to live with and manage. This week, Dr. Margaret Rutherford is republishing her interview with Terri Cheney who writes about her own battle with bipolar disorder. Sometimes she's won that battle. But not every time. And she talks about mixed episodes, which are harder to understand and certa...

Autism is a diagnosis that's feared by parents whose beloved child's development seems off. Dr. Theresa Lyons, a scientist and autism parent and expert, has lived this life. She and Dr. Margaret discuss what it was like, how she coped, and the professional and personal advice she has to offer. Dr. Lyons own words on discovering the autism diagnosis.. . "I knew something was wrong with...

Self-blame - when it happens way too much - can be paralyzing. Five paralyzing consequences of self-blame...  You were blamed as a child so it's become part of your own punishing self-critic which can lead to self-sabotage. You were manipulated or are being abused and you take the blame to "keep the peace" and become submissive. You take the blame for something that's happened to y...

The Bad People Bible  is a definitive guide to removing toxic people from your life. Written by celebrity and renowned clinical and forensic psychologist  Dr. Peter J. Favaro , “ Bad People Bible ” combines real-life stories, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help people recognize toxic individuals and get out of relationships with narcissists and manipulators. Dr. Favaro explai...

Psychedelic-assisted therapy is being actively researched by mental health researchers for its efficacy. And where it's legal, it's reported to be highly effective in treating depression and suicide prevention. Suicide rates within our veteran and first responder communities are incredibly high, and I’ve had conversations before with several guests on SelfWork about this very painful fact....

Flashbacks and nightmares are primary symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) as well as CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) – and they’re extremely frightening to have. Nightmares and flashbacks occur in different states of consciousness. Flashbacks happen when you’re awake and conscious; nightmares happen during sleep. Nightmares can involve a range of distressing themes, fr...

Messy marriages are all over the place – and living through them and maybe grieving them can at times be extremely complicated. In today’s SelfWork episode, whether you’re grieving the death of someone with whom you had a complex and even hurtful relationship or whether that relationship still exists, you are often needing to grieve that person’s impact on you. With Valentines Day fast approaching...

Today we're exploring what's termed "anticipatory grieving." When you know something is going to happen that will bring its own kind of grief… whether it’s a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness, an unwanted divorce being filed, learning that a child will struggle with a learning difference – it can bring a slew of emotions, many of them moving in and out of your aware...

Self-criticism can take on a life of its own. And become so constant that you have to fight it on a daily or even hourly basis. So today we’re going to focus on what may be keeping your self-criticism alive and well in ways that you don't realize. There are two steps we’ll cover. The first is raising awareness of your own inner self-critical voice. The second is assessing what role or function...

Are you being judgmental? Many of us would quickly say "no" to that question. But how many people do you know one thing about – and one thing only – and you categorize them as “bad” or “good”, "weak" or "strong," "smart" or "not the brightest bulb." It doesn’t take long for us to form an opinion. And there are obvious situations – such as one where there’s t...

How do you know if someone with sociopathic traits is playing with your mind? Today on SelfWork we’re going to talk about just that. The term cognitive dissonance has been around for quite a long time. What it’s describing is when you do something or say something that you believe to be wrong or unkind or unjust. But you do it or say it anyway. So, you’re not following or abiding by the values tha...

Disappointment. It’s a feeling in between hurt and shock. Why? Because you expect one thing – and you receive another. It doesn’t quite shock you - maybe it wasn’t totally unexpected. And it doesn’t crush you – it’s not exactly traumatic. But expectation and disappointment are totally interrelated. Some disappointment is normal of course. You don’t always win the prize or get what you were strivin...

Grief is never easy. And it can be made harder by the many things that happen with grief that you’re not prepared for – or believe ‘should’ be happening or ‘shouldn’t’. Dr. Elizabeth Kübler Ross made the observation about terminally ill people that they seemed to go through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But she never meant for that model, no matter ho...

“Low self-esteem” is one of the symptoms or reflections of classic depression. Of course, it goes along with other symptoms or signs - a negative self-image, feelings of helplessness and/or hopelessness, not enjoying much of anything – which is called anhedonia. But how do you increase self-esteem? What is self-esteem anyway? It’s a recognition of your value – of your worth. You can have high self...

Have you ever thought that intuition could be used for healing crisis? Laura Day , the New York Times bestselling author is back with a long-awaited, life-altering book to help you learn how to do just that. In her past breakthrough book Practical Intuition , she explained how anyone can train themselves to gain full access to the powers of the intuitive brain. However, only Laura’s closest friend...

Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, with the topics being blame, perfectly hidden depression, and bipolar disorder. The first is from a mom who lived through her daughter and yet also didn’t offer safety or a sense of security – even with the basic things. This listener is now sober for a year (much to her credit) and is asking about how to navigate her relationship with her mom –...