The Brothers Deeney

 Does the film live up to the title? No.  It's your classic "girl puts scarf on a sexy snowman with abs and it comes to life and the village all believe him and they end up rattling" story.  Packed to the gills with Mean Girls references and even a mention of A Christmas Prince. Netflix love reminding us of just how much shit they've made.  Last one of this run, be sure to chec...

 Father Christmas is coming to town. A town in Yorkshire to be precise.  Do you like bad acting, contrived plots, sarcastic sex scenes, vandalised Christmas trees, and no jokes? Then do I have a film for you! This one's definitely on the naughty list. A surreal blend of boring and slapstick that appeals to absolutely everyone... that reads the Daily Express.  The moral we take from all this i...

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why... Holidate is awful. Just bloody awful.  We're up to our old tricks reviewing terrible Christmas films and I'm ashamed to say, we picked this one. It's crass, it's not funny, it's boring, the characters are horrible, there's no chemistry, it's all in a bloody shopping mall.  B...

 Merry Christmas everyone (you can't even say that any more apparently my dad told me) and welcome back to the Book of Noel: our crazy adventure into Christmas's darkest stocking.  Today, we clearly haven't learnt our lesson and are talking about the sequel to a film we all hated and we hate this one slightly less, but that means it works less as a piece of entertainment.  Given the...

The final one of 2023 and it's a doozy. The Princess Switch is a cinnamon sprinkled malarial dream and no mistake. It takes all the best bits of Trading Places and Comedy of Errors and completely ignores them. It glorifies all monarchies like all of these f***ing things do, and reminds us all that all you need to do to find the one, is to start proceedings with knockabout deceit.  Hudgens is...

That's better! Proper Hallmark nonsense. Never before has a movie had lower stakes. It's your classic boy meets girl, boy gets girls... that's it. Set in smalltown USA, we felt absolutely back home here after the car crash that was Christmas on Mistletoe Farm. Support the show

 Prepare yourselves... For something so foul it sends zombies back into the ground, vampires back to their coffins, and Frankensteins back to their labs. This. Is. Mistletoe. Farm. Easily the worst film we've ever reviewed/seen. Seriously, we dare you... we DARE you to watch this abomination. It ruined films for the both of us and now we only watch flick books and them zoetrope things at the...

This film is great. Yeah, we're shocked too. The world's best handsome writer has a mum that's dead now and meets a lady who's mum isn't dead but it feels like it. They fall in love and its genuinely touching.  Join two men gushing over a Hallmark romcom.  Support the show

 Netflix describes this movie as "feel good". Don't believe them as you won't feel ANYTHING. A Christmas Chronicle was the vanguard of the Netflix Christmas vehicle that spawned two sequels. TWO! It's trash. If you like Kurt Russell so much you'll watch anything with him in it; even Escape from LA, even Deathproof, even Crypto... Id' still recommend you stay away...

It's Christmas time, that means it's time to delve into the Netflix Christmas Universe and this time we've gone for the big one: A Christmas Prince.  Do you like vague European monarchies? Have you ever posed as a personal tutor to get a scoop for a magazine? Have you never heard of Aldovia either? If the answer to any of those questions is "yes", this could be the video f...

We know, we know. It's been an embarrassingly long time, but we're back now. Shut up! In this, the last episode of the series, we look at something very close to our hearts and our new branding: brothers.  So many good brothers: the Marxes, the Kemps, them Roman ones that drank off a wolf. Add to that list the brothers Deeney and we've got ourselves a podcast.  We don't ask tha...

We're back (sorry about the delay) for the penultimate episode of the series and what a ride it has been. This time the Brothers Deeney turn their hand to the wonderful world of weird animals. These aren't the one you'll see on a family crest (even though Deeney has a snake on its crest. Fact.). These are the animals you have to call a professional to get rid of. Ugly, slimy, spikey...

Grandma we love you. And we really do.  Pack your pyjamas in a bag, you're staying at your nanna's tonight. Grandmas are an amazing, often patronised group that pass on their invaluable wisdom for no fee other than a wrinkly kiss upon parting.  Without grandmas we wouldn't be, and we're eternally grateful for that. Ignore the weird political beliefs and quaint insistance on thi...

What's scarier than being away for six weeks? Nothing, that's what. Yes, we're back and scarier than ever with a whole 50+ minutes dedicated to all the scariest stuff. Heights, spiders, confidend spaces, the number 13, and even spoons.  It seems like there's a phobia for everything. One thing you shouldn't be afriad of though, is supporting us on Patreon. Link below and th...

Last one! Thank fuck for that.  Lindsay Lohan sees us through to the day itself with a bawdy romp through actual snow with an INSUFFERABLE fiancee and a heart of gold.. after she gets knocked out by skiing. Again, this is a 50/50 split: Conal and Lizzy love it, Joe and Sazzie... well they think differently. It's shit. This is Joe, hello! Thanks everyone for making this so much fun. We'll...

This is the best one. Best film, best episode. Do you like your dialog hokey? How about your characters annoying? And your plot somehow predictable and a total mess? Well have we got a Christmas detour for you!  Join us as we go on the magical journey of Paige, a wedding magazine writer and professional lunatic who travels across country with Dylan, a smug barman that swaggers about like he's...

Hellooooooo and welcome to the bonnie Highlands where the water flows like whiskey or something. Yeah, we're giving A Castle for Christmas both barrels in this episode. Joe and Sazzie liked it, Lizzy and Conal did not. What a gang of mates we are.  I think we've all lost the ability to judge films correctly. It's better than Scarface. Support the show

We are a real American. Yeah, Hulk Hogan did an ill-advised Christmas film in 1996 and it's... well, you know the drill. It's nastier than the Nasty Boys; wackier than the Bushwackers; papper than Papa Shango.  If you don't listen to this episode, you might accidentally watch it and then it's not our fault. We have warned you. I mean, this film really is so so so so shit. It&ap...

Oh Dolly... Dolly Dolly Dolly. What's going on, mate? The Bridge is one of the best songs ever written. Christmas on the Square is utter utter dogshit.  Seriously, this film is bad. So bad, Conal couldn't face the last six minutes of it.  Listen to this podcast, but please, please don't watch this film. Replicate the experience by eating a poundshop advent calendar all at once, then...

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a man that works so hard selling mattresses or something that he forgets he has a kid that's Anakin Skywalker and is strongarmed by Tom Hanks's wife to find the hottest toy on the market on Christmas Eve. Should be the recipe for some side-splitting Christmas hijinx, no?  No. It isn't. It's really bad. I mean, this film has the blackest heart.  Conal...

Beyond the rubble we can see the lesser-hair Northerner. One of the slower members of the hominid family, but nonetheless, quite remarkable.  If you don't like David Attenborough, that's not David Attenborough's fault.  Here we take a dive into the unpolluted pool that is the national treasure himself, the king of the jungle, it's Richard Attenborough's baby brother, David...

 Book of Nowt, Book of Nowt, riding through the glen. Book of Nowt, Book of Nowt with two ageing men. Steal from the rich, the Patreon route. Book of Nowt, Book of Nowt, Book of Nowt. Welcome Merrie Men to the Sherwood Forest of the podosphere where we search for the legend that is the Robin Hood myth. Its origins are shrouded in mystery, but it has become one of the most loved folk tales in the w...

Alrite cowardly argonauts, take a bite our of this MASSIVE podcast sandwaich.  Scooby Doo is a much-loved and much-notverygood cartoon from ages ago that's still limping along to this day. It's got Scooby, a big dog that is too motivated by food and isn't funny; Shaggy, a pot head deadbeat that isn't funny; Velma, a smug nerd that isn't funny; Daphne, air-head, trophy-wife...

For the first time, the Brothers Deeney can speak on a topic with some authority! Accepting baldness is a depressing but also life-affirming part of anyone's life, but the Joe, Conal, and to a lesser degree Sazzie (aka the best afro in South London) are here to give you the guidance necessary to live the fullest life looking a bit daft.  We cover baldness much like fine hair covers a head: th...

Up next, we have Joe and Conal singing "The Book of Nowt".  Karaoke, the fear-inducing, king-making, night-ruining silliness from Japan that we all secretly enormously love. Starting back in 1971, karaoke is now a national pastime and the great equaliser on a night out.  We appreciate you all  and want nothing but the best for you and your family's future.  Support the show