The Bell Howard Show

"Now is the time for real men to stand up for meat!" says processed meat advocate Milo Hammet. Milo is a dietary consultant for Wisconsin public schools as well as the heir to Hammet Ham, the largest meat packer in the northern hemisphere. Also, Bell reads the latest obituaries. Who knows, maybe a name you know will pop up in today's episode!

Moral panics are fun for the whole family. From Satanic subliminal messages in cereal commercials to public library story hours apparently organized by a vast international network of groomers. Is there really something to be afraid of here or are we just getting our adult diapers in a bunch? Today's guest, author and psychologist Tim Prack, says you should start stocking up on adult diapers....

Do Marxists run the universities or is it really just a bunch of sorcerers? Columbia University or the nation of Columbia (what’s the difference?) is experiencing a rash of Ouija Board related anxiety attacks. As if New York city didn’t have enough anxiety attacks already! Today we’re get into the weeds on the most important news stories! Also, Putin and Xi are cozying up in Russia. While it looks...

You can be sure whatever crazy idea Bill Gates thinks up in his living room with his dog Dos, you'll eventually see on your social media feed. In this episode Bell takes on Bill's new policy suggestion that we limit our breathing in order to lower human emissions. Maybe the all mighty tech mogul is not sitting in so rarefied air after all. A sour scent of onions and relish from those nasty mouth-b...

In this episode, Bell joins the AI Revolution!  You know what they say: “If you can’t beat them, make them join your podcast.” Producer Wes hooks up with ChatGPT and gives it a human-like voice and voila, the Bell Howard Show gets its first co-host! Known as AI Simon, the natural sounding podcast-bot lends the authority of the internet, and the snappy comebacks of Andy Richter to be the sugar...

OK, so Nostradamus made a bunch of terrifying predictions for 2023 but you know they're garbage, right? We can all spout off stream of consciousness T.S. Eliotesque word salads and claim 73% accuracy as long as people interpret a certain way. Unlike Nostradamus, Bell is here and now and has years of experience absorbing and commenting on the media. Our predictions don't involve skeletons riding ho...

It looks like your standard blue porta potty but inside it might contain the secret to the mysteries of the universe. In this episode a leading toilet engineer goes on a journey to find the outhouse that teleports its squatters to another portal potty. This is where inter-toilet teleportation reveals the connection between private companies and publicly funded research. Don't look now but this mig...

This is a special episode with a very special guest. Elizabeth Holmes calls in to weigh in on today's news with Bell in a new segment called the News Blitz! Bell also gets a chance to ask Elizabeth what she thinks of Sam Bankman-Fried and let's just say the girl doesn't do empathy. In fact, Liz Holmes doesn't have anything nice to say about the alleged fraudster now sitting in a jail cell in the B...

Gather round kids, it’s time I told you the tale of Kanye! This rapper guy Kanye West really likes Hitler. Recently he went on the Alex Jones show and said the most controversial thing you can say in the Western World. But is Kanye sincere, or is this just a not so clever marketing ploy to appeal  to the Nazi-curious millennial? Bell talks to hip hop expert Professor Rap to get some incite in...

Today we talk to the money man himself, Warren Buffett. The WB's record as an investor is impeccable. He eyes a successful business like a construction worker eyes a passing blonde ( Of either sex! Just calm down ). But how does he do it? What do you need to get to the next level as an investor? Well, first of all it doesn't hurt if your a down-home folksy Midwesterner. Keep things simple and high...

Does the CIA make the world a safer place? In this episode Bell talks to company man Cyrus Dewley who makes the case that the gathering of intelligence, both foreign and domestic, is necessary for keeping Timmy and Tammy America sleeping sound on their memory-foam mattresses. In this episode you'll also learn how the CIA categorizes the American public and how your SAT score may make you a target...

A great leader knows when to cash in! On today's episode we examine two  leaders who faced crisis, made controversial decisions and have lived  (so far) to have a career and flourish in the liberal media ecosystem.  For Zelensky, a recent Washington Post article reveals Zelensky knew  about the coming Russian invasion but didn't warn his people because he  didn't want a ru...

The Trump Xanadu was raided but no Rose Bud! For people looking for the Top Secret nuclear codes you might be disappointed, but if you're willing to go deeper (much deeper!) you will be rewarded. In today's episode Bell discusses what the FBI found and why it not only endangers the Talking Cheeto himself, but the Liberal Establishment Darlings who scream the loudest for his blood. Bell also talks...

Are there any reliable signs of the apocalypse? Like, China adapting the Lord of the Rings Trilogy to the number of Cadillacs sold in Long Island? Today's guest, Oliver Stick is here to sort the signs and read the tea leaves. The legendary Eurasian centered investor explains why Russia is so mineral and precious metals-rich and how you can get in on the fun. Also, Bell talks about his recent busin...

While watching Stanley Kubrick's last movie Eyes Wide Shut, Bell muses on the role of sex magic in constructing and maintaining the American empire. The women at the famous sex ritual scene are probably the best paid sex workers in the world. According to an article from Dead Meat Beat the Eyes Wide Shut party is top tier entertainment for gentlemen who have enough money to send nations to war aga...

Sure AI can recommend a great video to watch or rat on you to the police, but can it run a country? A shocking news story from our favorite source, Info Slop, asks an important question: Is Joe Biden an AI? Bell also talks about finding love online and coping without his producer Wes who has found a different kind of love in San Diego.  But does it matter? Then Bell talks about the unexpected...

Oh, it's on now! The grand architect and suzerain of the Davos-sphere, Klaus Schwab, phones in to razz Bell. In a classic showdown of ideologies, Schwab brings his feel-good capitalism, aka stakeholder capitalism, to go up against Bell's pure Libertarian philosophy. Things get intense, but do these two men who represent the opposite poles of political discourse in American actually share a secret...

Vaudeville legend Jerma Delorne joins us today. She was a contemporary of Jolson and Sophie Tucker and she's still alive! She was one of the greatest talky-singers of all times, maybe one of the greatest shouty-singers too. She talks about her early days in vaudeville and surprises us with stories of her life in the Soviet Union and her views on the current Ukrainian conflict. Also Bell talks abou...

Let's face it, the Illuminati owns everything. From the drive in movie theater to the soda fountain, from your father's office building to grandma's condominium. So what luck that an ex-Illuminati member calls in to the show and spills the beans on their nefarious plans! The caller will shock you as he lays out the predicted white house line-up for 2024. The wheels are in motion but is it too late...

Do you get strange beautiful women suddenly messaging you? You may be the target of a bot, a honey bot! Now bots make up 66.6% of the internet. The content on the internet has gone from solely human generated to being mostly spun out by AI bots working around the clock. In a recent article called Welcome to the Dead Net, author Chris Chrissmisterson explores the Dead Internet Theory. This theory s...

In this episode we go deep! Does the Deep State run deep enough to disrupt reality? A call to the show reveals the disturbing realization that Google may have a growing state in the sprawling intelligence web that ensnares the American public. Once big tech and government completely merge we will see the singularity! Will it be real or just a sophisticated piece of augmented reality software? Also...

In this episode Bell muses on the open conspiracy that is the advertising industry. They are actively conspiring to get you to buy crap and believe in their vision of society. Then a distraught caller warns Bell of an impending sequel to the January 6th riots just in time for the one year anniversary of that event. But though the caller claims to be an ex CIA asset can he really trusted. Is he sti...

Bell is back in the USA! Right back where he started from, California's son returns to Gilroy. Yup, it's from the Garlic capital of the world that Bell plans to take the fight to the Technocratic Draculas! In this episode, Bell takes two calls, one from a man who thinks he needs to come out as a Q-Anon follower before he pops the question to his girlfriend. Then Bell talks to a woman who claims he...

Bell and Wes reconnect and move to Victoria Canada on a podcast visa! Yes, it's a thing. The visa provides support for podcasters looking to get their podcast off the ground and who want to contribute to Canadian culture. Bell moves into the cozy confines of a podcaster residence that provides all the amenities but might also hide a dark secret. As Bell connects with the other expat podcasters in...

Bell escapes to Armenia to get his passport and join the 2021 podcast convention in Yerevan! The Bell hooks up with his old producer Wes to do their first podcast together since the oil rig. After Bell chases down a shady sitcom producer to procure his passport he settles in for some podcasting fun. Our guest today is infamous magician-on-the-run Wonder Wiley. Recent FBI reports hint that Wiley mi...