Survivor Sanctuary

Yet again, a church is in the news for hiring a credibly accused rapist to its staff. The kicker in this case is that they ran it by the alleged victim-who was adamantly against it-and did it anyway, in a pretty callous/tone deaf/victim-discarding way. We discuss on today's episode. BECOME A PATRON! SurvivorSanctuary.com RESOURCES: Churchome Hires Alleged Rapist Over Victim's Objections

John MacArthur and Grace Community Church are back in the news for *checks notes* continuing to turn their backs on victims of abuse. While the Church is busy clutching their pearls over Sam Smith's devil costume at the Grammys, these same Christians are giving a pass to MacArthur, whose absolute refusal to show an ounce of humility makes Sam Smith look like the Pope. We chat about it, and Hohn Ch...

Radical forgiveness. Radical grace. These buzz phrases get thrown around in Christianity, soaking survivors of sexual abuse in shame and letting predators off the hook. But are they actually scriptural? We discuss on today's episode.

It's probably happened to all of us: we share openly about the abuse we have experienced, and inevitably, someone's response is "you need to forgive." We unpack this lovely unforgiveness phenomenon in today's episode. Happy New Year!

On this episode of the podcast, we're chatting with Steve Black of the Ezekiel 33 Project. Steve's daughter was abused by a family member when she was just 6 years old, and the lack of information available for parents going through what his family was going through at the time prompted him to start his own blog. Steve's story is so incredibly valuable to anyone who has experienced navigating sexu...

We've all been told at one point or another to leave the past in the past. But when it comes to sexual abuse, wading through the past is necessary for healing. On today's podcast, we'll discuss why it's important to carefully examine your past to keep it from growing into something unmanageable. Yes, the past can be uncomfortable or scary, but properly examining it can lead to freedom.

In celebration of the 100th episode of the podcast, we're excited to announce that Survivor Sanctuary is now on Patreon! You can become a patron of the podcast starting at $5 per month, and have access to exclusive content and rewards. Your support helps us keep shining a light on sexual abuse in the church, and it also unlocks premium content to help you grow as a survivor/advocate/ally. THANK YO...

Did you hear about the woman who helped take down a child molester she met on Tinder? This story is a great reminder that an abuser can be anyone. We chat about it on today's episode of the podcast. RESOURCES: Woman Uses Tinder to Catch Child Molester

Are survivors of sexual abuse "playing the victim" when they speak out about sexual abuse? There are plenty of people who think (and say) so. On this episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we'll talk about what it actually means to "play the victim" are have a "victim mentality," and how that relates to survivors.

It's cute that the creepy ex youth leader who beat a rap for allegedly sexually assaulting a minor just followed me on Twitter. We chat about it on today's episode.

We're used to hearing bad advice, platitudes and questionable opinions on surviving sexual abuse from people who have never experienced abuse themselves. But there's a disturbing trend among survivors and advocates who seem to believe that the only way to move on from abuse is to accept responsibility for the abuse you experienced, or accept that it was all a part of God's (or the Universe's) plan...

The Department of Justice is investigating the Southern Baptist Convention for their decades of mishandling sexual abuse allegations. It may be easy to understand why the DOJ is concerned for the welfare of children, but what about the lowest of society's low? In today's episode, we'll chat about why it is that convicts appear to care more about stopping child molesters than our churches do. RESOU...

Is it a trauma response? A mental health disorder? What on earth would cause a mother to stay with and support a man who sexually abuses her kids? It happens more than we care to believe, and on today's episode we try to unpack what's going on when a mom chooses a sexual predator over her kids. ***ALL the trigger warnings***

Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender. It's a tactic used by many abusers to shame their victims and make them feel guilt over speaking out. But DARVO is also used to turn others--often entire religious communities--against the victim as well. Have you ever seen a congregation stand and applaud a man who has just confessed to sexual assault? Or witnessed church folks shaming a victim for speak...

With all the high-fives flying and churches celebrating in light of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, survivors of sexual abuse in the church may be left scratching their heads. Forgive us if we find the claims that the church cares deeply for the vulnerable disingenuous, but we've been under the table for decades practically begging for scraps of this supposed care and compassion--and we've been ig...

Believe survivors. We hear it often, and it's very important advice. But there's one time it's perfectly acceptable NOT to believe survivors... and that's when they tell you the abuse was their fault. On this episode we'll discuss how survivors of childhood sexual abuse often wrongly accept responsibility for part of their abuse because they are too early in their recovery to fully understand what...

Today on the podcast we continue our chat with Justin Woodbury of the blog and book, Sheltered But Not Protected.  RESOURCES: Sheltered But Not Protected

Today on the podcast we are chatting with Justin Woodbury of the blog and book, Sheltered But Not Protected. Justin shares his experience of surviving sexual and spiritual abuse in the IFB. RESOURCES : Sheltered But Not Protected

They say your character is who you are when nobody is watching. So why is it that Christians have so much trouble believing that people caught abusing children are depraved, dangerous and better off in prison? If you've been following the Josh Duggar trial, you may have read the letters that Michelle Duggar, Anna Duggar and Josh's pastor sent to the judge to beg for leniency in sentencing. They li...

It's always easier to find fault with "that church over there," but when it comes to sexual abuse, it's important to understand that it can happen *anywhere*. On today's episode we'll chat about the recent scandals that have mega churches in the spotlight--and why we can't blame them for the problem of sexual abuse in the church.  **In this episode of the podcast, I quote author and pastor Ti...

"You think everyone is an abuser." It's a comment I've heard more than once in my work as an advocate, and in everyday life as a survivor of sexual abuse. On today's episode, we chat about the accusation, and discuss the difference between believing everyone is an abuser and believing that an abuser *can be* anyone.

Turning Red, Disney World PA greetings, transgender athletes... what are we protesting this week, church? Besides child molesters in our pulpits, because apparently that one is totally OK. On this episode, we'll discuss the church's unscriptural obsession with judging "the world," and the biblical exhortation to judge those inside the church. Tags: Bill Bjorkman, Calvary Chapel, sexual abuse, pedo...

It's always fun when a spiritual leader teaches theology-by-meme on social media. And by fun, I mean obnoxious. There are some quotes and memes floating around on Facebook these days that are aimed at people who apparently don't spend enough time in a church building. And as memes tend to do, they vastly oversimplify what can be a highly complex lived experience for survivors of spiritual, psychol...

On today's episode, we discuss the former boarding school principal who was sentenced to death in Indonesia this week for his sexual abuse of at least 13 students between the ages of 11 and 14. Is the death penalty appropriate for child predators? And as survivors, how do we navigate the guilt we often feel for "telling on" our abusers, especially if their lives could be on the line? RESOURCES : I...

On this episode, we chat about the controversy surrounding John MacArthur, and a church culture that insists protecting women and children from abusers is "worldly."