So Very Wrong About Games

This week we stumble on the terrible, horrifying fact that there are other hobbies than boardgames, and we take pity on those poor lamented souls who are enslaved in their thrall. Just what is scrapbooking, anyway? Walker has a theory, but no one is really sure. We should thus feel blessed that we chosen few enjoy the hobby that we do, and so we discuss ways to try to be decent while doing so. Gam...

A reminder that there is no necessary connection between our feature game and our topic. We would not divest ourselves of SEAL Team Flix, The Only Game that Matters, if for no other reason than we need it on hand so we can talk about it and only it for perpetuity. That, and it's great. Sorry, spoilers! Oh, and Walker was Keyser Söze the entire time. Games Played Last Week:-Cthulhu Wars 1m28s (Sand...

It is important to stay flexible, and follow the ways of those who practise judo and jiu-jitsu. That is why we choke people as often as we can. Wait, that's not right. Rather, it is important to be supple and adaptable. We had intended to be on time and talking about different things, but sundry unrelated crises have changed both of those plans. We apologize for the delay, but we are confident our...

We here at SVWAG take acronyms very seriously, but sometimes get carried away with such abbreviations. As a public service announcement, allow me to remind all of you that TI:4 stands for Twilight Imperium 4th Edition. It is purely coincidental that I mention this in the context of an episode dealing with games that have turn order problems. It is also a coincidence that Kemet is the feature game...

You can have too much of a good thing, which is why Mark always tries to interrupt Walker before he can finish a single sentence. Of course, "too much" is a highly subjective idea, whether applied to game length or pie. This week Keyflower is discussed, which is not too long but can feel too short--except if it were not too short it would be too long. Clear enough. Games Played Last Week:-Star War...

We delve into the culinary arts here at So Very Wrong About Games; having failed at math but excelling in eating, both Mark and Walker eschew conventional rating systems for gastronomical ones. They had considered rating the rating systems themselves, but were reminded of the podcast's firm stance against paradoxes. So, they threw all their pies into a bag and drew them randomly. It's been a confu...

Walker encourages you to tell friends about So Very Wrong About Games, despite his not listening to the podcast. Mark has recommended it to him, but apparently Walker's contempt for his co-host's opinions is not limited to games, but extends also to the podcast they produce together about games. One assumes Walker also does not read the episode descriptions, which is truly risky, and might create...

Mark tries to come to terms with his outright hypocrisy, largely on the basis that he feels it's acceptable for him but not for everyone else. Walker yearns for glory, but learns to his disappointment that glory is not legal tender and cannot be exchanged for goods or services. Lords of Hellas offer such piercing insights into the soul, "self-knowledge" being one of its 43 victory conditions. Also...

As it happens, games do not spawn ex nihilo, fully armed and armored from Zeus' forehead. I'm certain that's what most of you believed, but it's not true! To confirm this implausible fact, Mark sat down with Eric Reuss, the designer of Spirit Island, to talk about stuff. Walker and Mark also discuss The City of Kings, a game that is a fascinating mixture of euro mechanics, grand adventure, and bot...

This podcast scales seamlessly from 2 to an in finite number of listeners, but we're not nearly that optimistic. Walker sometimes dreams of a solo mode, but sadly Mark insists on speaking. Mark and Walker again turn to Vlaada Chvatil, a designer who loves idiosyncrasy and detail--sometimes to excess. Walker asks if it would be appropriate to rant, and Mark gladly lets him off leash. Games Played L...

You wouldn't like Mark when he's angry, but that's probably attributable to his being fundamentally unlikable at the best of times. At any rate, Walker tries to rein him in from ranting too long about obvious component failures, publisher laziness, and alleged outright theft. Walker, for his part, just wants things to mean something. We are seekers here at So Very Wrong About Games. Games Played L...

Mark and Walker delve into matters of criminal justice this week, pondering the balance and tradeoffs between deterrence, retribution, and rehabilitation. Walker seems to think that Bunny Kingdom a form of cruel and unusual punishment, whereas Mark seems to think that any form of travel is necessarily a form of inhumane rendition. Anyway, they're sellouts now, so if you send them free stuff in the...

Times are bad--children no longer respect their elders and everyone is running a Kickstarter. Nostalgia fuels our news segment today, with varying levels of scorn for cherished memories. For those of you playing along at home with their So Very Wrong About Games bingo cards, Walker talks about a Mystic Vale expansion and Mark brings up Macross--let us know if that makes five in a row. Games Played...

We adopt a policy of firm opposition to irresolvable paradoxes here at So Very Wrong About Games. Then again, everything we say is wrong, so take that for what it is worth. Don't even ask us about sets not containing themselves. We turn our attention to Vlaada Chvatil's work for the first time, and ruminate about multiplayer conflict games and how they often fail. Also, swimwear...? And "cascades...

Mark references several films while trying, and failing, to keep his composure. Walker tells stories that may or may not resemble reality. Both hosts rant about design decisions they find inexplicable. It's a very cathartic experience for all involved. Games Played Last Week:-Dinosaur Island 1m16s (Jonathan Gilmour & Brian Lewis, Pandasaurus, 2017)-Cockroach Poker Royal 2m17s (Jacques Zeimet, 999...

Mark and Walker explore how sophisticated the rejoinder "git gud" can be, perhaps indicating that they are getting good at unhelpful trash talking. Perhaps anything can be an art. Perhaps being a better degerenate is truly the life lesson they have extracted from their years as hobbyists; Mark's experiences have certainly turned him into a fantasy racist. Join us for A Very Special Episode of So V...

Walker pretends to tolerate Mark's digression into pronunciation, and in exchange Mark pretends to be surprised to hear that TI4 has problems. Both fail to be even remotely surprised that CMON is in the plastic pushing business, novelty or creativity optional. Games Played Last Week:-Zombicide: Black Plague 4m39s (Raphaël Guiton, Jean-Baptiste Lullien, & Nicolas Raoult, CMON, 2015)-Black Orchestra...

Why can't we all just get along? This week Mark and Walker agree that anyone causing pain should be tortured to death. Wait, that doesn't work. Okay, can we agree that people who cause pain wrongly are wrong? Hm. That seems problematic. What about we should shun those that aren't friendly? Crap. Let's just say that everyone should be nice to me, how's that? Games Played Last Week:-Clans of Caledon...

Walker acts on his firm conviction that sympathy is for the weak, and the internet seems to endorse this position. Fueled by Mark's misery, the pair utter a great deal of words on the topic of Rising Sun, which has had a firm grip on their gaming time of late. They then decide to move on to matters of history and politics, which are always safe topics. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Games Played...

Mark and Walker dare the siege perilous in this, their thirteenth installment. Walker shares a rare moment of sincerity, and Mark restrains himself from taunting him for the lapse. Rising Sun is revisited and compared to Twilight Imperium, and shockingly Mark highlights ways in which that is favorable to TI:4. Mass hysteria ensues. Games Played Last Week:-Tigris & Euphrates 2m16s (Reiner Knizia, H...

Mark has a bit of an identity crisis, but his devotion to his listeners will see him through. Walker, as is his wont, merely patiently rolls his eyes-especially when Mark almost tries to get him to review a game they've only played once. The insolence! Games Played Last Week:-Rising Sun 2m14s (Eric Lang, CMON, 2018)-Sid Meier's Civilization: A New Dawn 11m31s (James Kniffen, Fantasy Flight, 2017)-...

Mark and Walker switch roles this week in a stunning reversal. Walker avoids telling Mark to "get good," but it's a close thing only narrowly avoided. In Walker's defense, Mark really should git gud--as has been noted by many a scholar and physician. They discuss the redevelopment of Terra Mystica called Gaia Project, and then they generalize to how publishers sometimes mess up new editions of the...

Mark and Walker address so many questions this week. How many ways can Walker pronounce "coyote?" Why is all of Oceania laughing at CMON? What is the best social and economic system? How condescending can Mark get? Listen up, as all will be explained herein. Games Played Last Week:-First Martians: Adventures on the Red Planet 1m59s (Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal Games, 2017)-Mombasa 3m17s (Alexander P...

Mark and Walker engage the ALL CAPS in a very HARDCORE WAY. Or something. All in all, they're very civil, even while disagreeing about Sidereal Confluence and being mystified by people's strong reactions to HATE. Rage gets all the love, but HATE gets all the confusion. Games Played Last Week:0:54 -Sakura Arms (BakaFire, AEG, 2017)2:31 -Blood Rage (Eric Lang, CMON Games, 2015)4:15 -Assault on Doomr...

Mark and Walker engage in rampant hearsay, or at least that's what someone told me. They perform a dissection of Alien Artifacts, only to discover that it was a shoddy rubber suit all along. They then discuss their thoughts on Kickstarter's influence on the hobby--is it making games cute but stupid? Also, a friendly reminder that Star Control II is the greatest video game ever made. Games Played L...