Separate Together

A question that comes up often and early is, who gets the house? This question can be very striaghtforward or quite complex to answer.  This week, Melissa walks Cody through a number of ways we can address what is often people's primary asset and the primary emotional driver of their divorce process. 

The need for security when you are going through a divorce can really drive your decision making. Cody notices two places this really shows up; keeping the family home, and keeping your pension intact.  Melissa explains how choosing to work together can result in an equitable agreement that also honours each person's individual needs. 

This week Melissa explains what nesting is, how it works and why she believes it's worth it to try and keep the 'little chickens' in the nest.  Cody is skeptical but comes around when Melissa shares how our wonderful clients have navigated nesting. 

This week Cody and Melissa are talking reality checking! What is it and why is it needed? Divorce is overwhemling and the fastest way to cut through that overwhelm is to get clarity on the law and your circumstances. When you cannot reality check your client you are always fighting an expensive and emotional losing battle. 

This week Cody is joined by Katharine Carter, founder of Carter's Counselling Services and a highly experienced social worker and family mediator.  Katharine explains what mediation is and how effective it can be in helping people move through the transition of divorce.  Carter's Counselling is a wonderful resource for families in that it offers a one-stop-shop service where the entire family can...

Cody is struggling with summer. The scheduling, the costs, the camps. If Cody finds it challenging then the struggles for co-parents must be substantial but Melissa explains that careful planning and perhaps a 'summer summit' between co-parents can ease the burden of making summer memorable for everyone. 

This week, Cody is joined by Cassandra Davis, a counsellor at Carter's Counselling who specializes in Attachment Theory. Cassandra often works with mediators to assist couples navigating a divorce or separation in having a successful mediation experience and to understand their attachment style so they can co-parent effectively.

This week, Melissa gets candid about what burnout from Family Law was like for her and how it became the driving force behind trying to do things differently.

This week Melissa is in Ottawa attending a conference on Access to Justice and it's been bringing up memories of Law School.   Melissa gives Cody a crash course on Law School; the intensity, the courses and the friendships made along the way.   If Cody was considering Law School before, she may not be now.

 This week Melissa explains to Cody what most people get wrong about Family Law. Unlike say, Criminal Law, Family Law is not punitive. It's not concerned with dissecting a past   incident between strangers but rather figuring out how to transform a deeply personal relationship.   This becomes even more complicated when there are children involved. Melissa explains how quickly things can go south w...

This week Melissa changes Cody's mind about whether or not you can have an ethical prenup. Like so many parts of Family Law, the way we approach the prenup is changing.   Melissa explains how the prenuptial agreement can become an empowering document meant to evolve with each family as they structure their intentional life together.   By inviting both parties into this process, Melissa them struct...

This week Melissa and Cody discuss flat fee services and divorce. One Family Law offers flat fee services, but it requires everyone to come to the table prepared.   They also discuss what happens when information is missing or emotions take over, and how quickly fees can escalate.   Ultimately flat fees can offer clients predictability during a very uncertain time, but they require work from all p...

This week Cody asks Melissa why so many people wait to actually file for divorce. It seems like people are ok with getting a lot of the big life transitions dealt with but when it comes to actually filing the paperwork the process stalls out.   Melissa provides some insight into why this is and how this leaves people vulnerable legally. 

Well, the situation between Taylor and Dakota took a turn so Melissa and Cody decide to focus this episode of the pod on Miranda and Chase, and their (seemingly) healthy coparenting relationship.   Melissa highlights what she thinks is the key to a successful coparenting relationship and both Cody and Melissa remark on the 'quiet work' of acceptance and how transformative it can be.

Melissa and Cody binged the first five episodes of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and they want to talk about it!   How do you coparent when you can't quit each other? How do you put your child first when you're wading through your own parenting trauma.   While it may be too early for the law to intervene for Taylor and Dakota and how they approach their situationship it sounds like it's going to be...

This week Cody introduces Melissa to Kathryn Edwards (keds_economist), one of her favourite TikTok creators and a talented economist. They discuss her recent Substack newsletter "My Earnest Warning to Trad Wives". Melissa and Cody dive into the nuances of spousal support, and bring in Kathryn's anecdotal wisdom having been raised by an mother who was a Family Law Attorney. Both Melissa and Cody ul...

Most clients will sort out their separation agreement and then wait about a year to sign and submit their divorce application. Melissa and Cody talk about the astounding changes they see in their clients after they've spent a year acclimating to their new way of life. A lot can change in a year.

This week Melissa and Cody discuss a creator on TikTok who has gone viral for making videos about how she was blindsided by her divorce after being a stay-at-home mom for the last decade.   They get into the nuances of spousal support and how it is supposed to function in a divorce or separation.    Melissa also highlights the importance of interdependence not codependence in a healthy relationshi...

Sometimes people are just better off as friends. Melissa and Cody share their experience with divorcing best friends and what that relationship looks like on the other side of separation. They also talk about letting go of the guilt around separating from someone when things are mostly 'fine'.    

In this episode of Separate Together Melissa and Cody discuss how they came to be friends and what motivates them to pave the way for a friendlier style of divorce. Melissa shares how her own divorce informed her view that a better way to separate is possible, and Cody dicusses how receiving a disability diagnosis for one of her children motivates her to guide families through times of acute stres...

In this episode of Separate Together, Melissa and Cody explore the complexities of legal relationships within family law. They discuss the concept of interdependence, the legal implications of merging lives, and the importance of being mindful of the perils and benefits of relationships. The conversation also touches on the impact of parenthood on relationships and the need for conscious relating...

This episode of Separate Together explores the evolution of family law and the changing dynamics of divorce and separation over the past decade. The conversation delves into the perspectives of clients, particularly focusing on the shifting concerns of women and men in divorce proceedings, the emotional toll of litigation, and the emergence of modern family structures. Melissa and Cody how societa...

In this episode of Separate Together, hosts Melissa Bourgeois and Cody Dub explore the intricacies of legal separation and divorce. They discuss the process of formalizing separation agreements, the role of affidavits, and the importance of child support and parenting orders. The conversation also contrasts the streamlined joint divorce process with the complexities of litigation, highlighting the...

Understanding if and when you need a lawyer can significantly impact the separation process. Melissa Bourgeois and Cody Dub delve into various scenarios, providing valuable insights that can help individuals make informed decisions.  

In this episode of Separate Together, hosts Melissa Bourgeois and Cody Dub delve into the challenges faced by clients in family law, particularly their lack of awareness regarding necessary decisions. It highlights the importance of structured parenting plans and the resources provided by One Family Law to assist clients in navigating these complexities.