Rhyme and Reason

Hypnopompic hallucinations. No, there are no drugs involved. You might have experienced them, even if you’ve never heard of ’em. Because they can occur in that transitional time between sleep and fully waking up. And they don’t have to include scenes of terror. After all, it’s not like everything in life mimics Stephen King books. My hypnopompic hallucinations almost always...

10 years ago I wrote some Christmas songs. And one of them became one of my favorites. Yeah, I know. How unabashedly arrogant of me. Right? No, it’s OK to favor your own creative work. And it’s OK to have enough ego to admit it. Anyway…I’ve been sharing that song for just about every Christmas since then. This year is no different. May the Prince of Peace and God of Christm...

What if joy were against the law? Sounds crazy, I know. But play along for just a bit. And let’s pretend that somehow that kind of law was pushed through congress. What would you do? If joy were against the law, would you break it? The law that is. Would you break it? Could you break it? I believe, and I hope I’m not alone in this belief, that there are plenty of people, right here in...

Bob Dylan said it. So, it must be true right? He talked about how you gotta serve somebody. In fact, in one of his songs, he sang “you’re gonna have to serve somebody” quite a few times. So, he must be pretty darn sure it’s true. And, in a way, it is. Sure, you could say you gotta serve somebody, OR… You could say you GET to serve somebody. First, and foremost, you GE...

I read a post, from a friend in social media (thanks Allen) about famous last words from some famous atheists. And the despair in their words struck me in such a way I wanted to share some of them with you. It’s chilling. But first…why do I say famous last words of foolish jaybirds? Well, back in medieval days, when I was growing up, the term “jaybird” was Southern slang fo...

Eight years ago, today, I shared Episode 15 of my Podcast. Wow, 15. I’m now up to 739 episodes. (Side note: I’m way behind on recording episodes because my voice has been, shall we say, less than smooth. But the plan is to get going again shortly.) Anyway…Episode 15 focused on your understanding. And when I say “your,” I mean mine too. In fact, I mean everybody. Your...

“They” called him the “Chairman of the Board.” How he got the title depends on who you ask. But there’s no denying that Frank Sinatra liked being in charge. And I was never a fan even though he sang a couple of songs here and there I actually liked. One of those was about lost love. But this particular lost love was blown away. At least, according to the lyrics, there...

I spent a lot of my formative years in Texas. So, I still use (and always will use) some of those friendly southern, colloquial expressions in my everyday language. And many of those southern memories are some of my fondest childhood recollections. Like the sounds of croaking bullfrogs. And the chatter of bugs just as dusky coolness sweeps away the heat of the day. Or the chunky sound when mom wou...

It’s 33 miles in a round trip. And I read where it’s apparently America’s only “urban byway.” And that means it’s a scenic byway (on the National Register) closer to an urban area (Denver) than any other anywhere. And since it’s part of the “old west” it seems appropriate to call it the Lariat Loop. Not so long ago, we called the Lariat Loop ju...

People get ready. There’s a train a-coming. You don’t need no baggage. You just get on board. All you need is faith to hear the diesels humming. Don’t need no ticket. You just thank the Lord. Yeah, those are lyrics to the old Curtis Mayfield song, “People Get Ready.” And there’s a lotta word power goin’ on in that song. When The Impressions had a hit with...

Yes, God does have a plan. A MasterPlan. But He most definitely does not have a plan for your day. As I’ve said many times…He’s far too brilliant a designer than to create a bunch of humans who can’t do anything apart from Him. So, if you’ve been one of those Christians who says things like, “I’ve just got to remember, God’s in control,” stop t...

Just in case you haven’t noticed, the world is full of mean people and bad stuff. Nations are at war…all the time. Political parties are in constant power struggles. Murder is consistently at epidemic levels. And man-made pandemics are all the rage. But, even with all this dark-hearted dreariness, my cup runs over. And my cup runs over because all this will go away. Yeah, it’s te...

Everybody’s trying to be nicer than God. Even real estate websites like to show off their “LGBT legal protections.” Which, of course, are bigoted policies. And I oppose any ideology that singles out individuals or groups who hate God and give them their own so-called “legal protections.” Instead, I wholeheartedly support the MJSPBR and their God-given legal protection...

They say ignorance is bliss. Who are they? And why do they say that? But never mind all that right now. There’s one way ignorance will be anything but bliss. Because you won’t be able to plead ignorance when you leave this world. And you’ll discover, if you haven’t already, how your own denial will be revealed to you by the… King of Hearts Working it out, they say the...

Back in 2012, right here on TonyFunderburk dot com, I wrote about the longest daylight day of the year. Summer solstice. And I shared how it makes me ponder time. I also shared how so many people say something like, “Wow, time flies.” Einstein theorized that time is relative. I believe he was wrong. Unless he actually meant it could FEEL that way. Because a day can take “forever&...

Generally speaking, most scientists (and the rest of us, too) believe there’s nothing faster than light. And it’s mighty difficult to imagine that not being true. Because, think about it, when you flip the switch to your kitchen light, it comes on instantly. But I think there IS something faster than light… Your thoughts. And I know, some will say thoughts don’t travel. But...

Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. Did you ever hear that when you were a kid? Or, for that matter, any other time? As it turns out, that’s not just a sweet, little thing to say to kids that rhymes. Because bedbugs are real. And they don’t seem like characters for nursery rhymes. Check out this bullet list description for why you shouldn’t let the bedbugs bite. The ad...

Yesterday I wrote about a nostalgic memory. And I talked about June bugs. If you didn’t catch that post, check it out. But now I want you to think back in your own life. And go as far back in your past as you can. Because I want you to see yourself as small as possible. OK, are you there yet? Way, way back to when everything was left up to “the grownups.” Can you see it? Great.  ...

Did you ever watch The Waltons? Either when it was a new show or in reruns? Either way, do you remember how the kids would run out the front door and the screen door would smack shut? That’s because those old screen doors were lightweight and had long snakey springs. And I remember both sets of my grandparents had screen doors like that. And I also remember how, when the summer months rolled...

As I reached the end of 5th grade, and was about to leave elementary school to attend junior high, I was told I’d be put into “accelerated classes.” My teacher sent me home with a note to my parents that said I was “gifted” in addition and subtraction, grammar, and learning skills in general. That addition and subtraction part was ironic, though. Because if you go bac...

Yeah, it’s an uncomfortable conversation to have. The one about what’s happening behind closed doors and tall walls. Doors and walls that close behind foolish people going in…and behind damaged people coming out. Some people have spent much of their lives having that uncomfortable conversation. And it’s mostly a one-sided conversation. Because hard hearts lead to closed ear...

Paramecia don’t become parakeets. And an amoeba will never be an ambulance driver. Not in a million, trillion years. Because changes like that don’t happen. Not by accident. Not on purpose. And certainly not accidentally on purpose. Accidentally on purpose used to be a joke, when I was a kid. But we didn’t imagine how serious that whole “accidental” thing would be. We...

Three years ago, around this time of year, I sent a sad and happy song out into the internet. It was in response to a request for me to write a song for a young man battling cancer. A friend of mine, on social media, told me about Jeremiah. And I’m glad. Because before that I’d never heard of him or his battle or even his make a wish request. So, I told my friend I’d look into th...

I think Huey Lewis and the News sang it best, back in the 80’s, when they sang “I say cool is a rule, but sometimes, bad is bad.” What? You don’t remember that song? Then, move along. Because you’re probably not old enough to be reading this. So, you surely won’t understand how sometimes bad is bad. And Huey said it was “sometimes” because back then,...

I’m reminded of a sound bite from a presidential debate between Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter. Carter presented what he thought was a good case against then Governor Reagan’s position on Medicare. And when Carter finished, Reagan started his counterpoint by saying, “There you go again.” And then he pointed out the flaws in Carter’s statements. But what did “the...