Rats In The Gutter

Wow, what a week it’s been. And this is certainly not a valid review because what’s a week, where am I, whose jiz is this and what even IS time? Featured in this week’s democratically available episode is the following; the evils of physically repellant politicians being allowed to attend music awards that no one invited them to anyway; the particular sadness of Helen Keller and why we love her (d...

This week the rats discuss the proverbial (delusional?) lure of escape; whether it be from an alien abduction themed escape room, or between the bars of your frankly mis-advertised air bnb at Abu Ghraib, we ask what the true cost of freedom is (hint; it’s a flaying of the face). Also, are all bisexuals ‘vers’, or is this just another myth (much like bisexuality itself; just joking, we know it’s re...

Twin or tumour, length or girth, polyamory or cheating. The rats are asking hard questions this week and, like most media, reducing the nuances of reality to subsets of easily digestible binaries (you’re welcome). Notably, gender is explored and the fractious myth of ‘male loneliness’ which is actually, so the rats think and say, a symptom of toxic masculinity; which, they add, no one is immune fr...

This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. As late-stage capitalism devours us all the rats turn inward, applying the same journalistic principles of critical analysis which they’re known for to the ways in which they move through the world. This includes looking at their morning routines, vari...

This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. This week at least one of the rats is experiencing the kinds of performance exhaustion that made Houdini fake his own death back in 1926 (unverified). That said, the pair drag themselves up from the bowels of ennui to deliver a refreshing overhaul of T...

This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. Not an easter special by any measure but Jesus Christ does get a mention by way of his unofficial bio-epic JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, of which Johanna is a recent convert. We’d also be remiss if we didn’t touch on Katy Perry going to space, mostly because...

Jubba Hive Rise! This week (under the looming shadow of . . . well, everything right now) the rats find small (guilty) joy in spending absurd amounts of money. We explore the magic of mushrooms, and in doing so are forced to confront the abjectly humiliating auras of those who love mushrooms a little too much. We touch on China’s mycelial trade reach, the absurdity of tariffs, the unbearable light...

Johanna is in Melbourne doing the comedy circuit. So begins a month or so of long distance episodes. Kinda like Heloise and Abelard but without the platonic eroticism. And instead of a medieval cloister the rats are sending each other passionate missives from an air mattress and a shared artist studio, respectively. Highlights include sudden death, the Abu Ghraib-adjacent regimen of reformer pilat...

Despite there being very little reason to live at the moment, what with the kinds of geopolitical instability unseen in the west since the end of WW2, the rats manage to find joy in the little things. Like wings from Dominos. The ferocious ally-ship of Azealia Banks (and how JK Rowling betrayed the millennials responsible for her ill-begot fortune). DIY glory-holes with strangers (only a towel and...

Trilling echolalia of the inner chamber, walls slowly closing in, but they’re gilt chintz so we don’t mind. Also fuck Luxon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oscars? Buzzy. Raglan? Buzzy. PR relationships? Buzzy. A tight five? Buzzy. Marmite sandwiches? Buzzy. Davide Seymour’s natal alcohol syndrome? Priceless. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Absurdity as a radical gesture, refusal to treat the body more specifically the face as a profitable asset, and the unbearable lightness of race. Enjoy. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re counting the days until impact with NASA announcing the immanent arrival of a ‘city killer’ asteroid, just as Brian Tamaki is counting the days until the antagonized queers and exploited Maori and Pacifica families in his congregation cobra-strike-back. Stay tuned Tamaki you fat fuck. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Get your tickets for th...

This country’s going to hell in a diamanté handbag, kinda puts a damper on Pride. So we’re ashamed. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Get your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week the rats discuss conservative delusion (such as recolonisation), being pet lovers, the unbearable lightness of fanny sweat, Beyonce’s calculated Virgo moves, and reformer pilates. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Get your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here ! Hosted on...

Historical inaccuracies abound! Was David of David and Goliath fame a flamer? Was Jack the Ripper doing Queen Victoria’s bidding? Am I a natural blonde? Listen to find out. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Get your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast...

Welcome to the facelift. A new and improved Rats 2.0 (if you’ve paid for it). The non-pay-wall peasant channel is still as good, but let’s be honest, your stinginess is as attractive as a naked honey-covered Elon Musk coming down your chimney in the middle of the night. As of now we’re journalists. Enjoy the facts. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon x...

there’s an ambience of despair this episode. But rats are survivors. Except for countries so poverty stricken people eat them. Like what New Zealand under our current prime minister. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With Sam and Johanna away on holiday, here's a bonus episode released last month on our Patreon ! Back soon, happy 2025 ratties xx Welcome again behind the pay wall where everything’s on the table. This week we can’t help noticing how positively Aryan Troye Sivan is no matter how many brown hotties he hooks up with on stage. Also, Johanna is hungover. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor...

Poly-tics - The government is a choad parade of gross incompetence and double chins and we’ve had a guts full! Also merry xmas. Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

LIVE FROM THE BASEMENT THEATRE - This week's episode is coming to you live and rancid in front of an actual audience. As Sam and Johanna catalogue the insanity of the year that was they cannot help being drawn back to the cherry on top of 2024 - Luigi Mangione and his 9incher. Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rats gets lice. Not these rats. But we’ve heard it’s a thing. The following is a speculative journey on the parasitical nature of politics, religion, and other ideologies. With jokes. Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Um, this episode is about Wicked. Obviously. Sorry if we’re predictable but that’s on the carnival feeling the gays and the girls get from a big budget lezzy coded musical fantasy epic about the importance of being cunt.  Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There’s nothing harder in this volatile climate than getting out of bed in the morning, closely followed by trying to put a coherent label on what kind of ‘ism’ we’re currently suffering from. This week, like every week, the rats give it a (futile) go. Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shit’s real, shit’s dark; shit’s real dark. This week the rats talk various radical forms of feminist solidarity, bespoke seventeenth century violin design, and of course return to the source (the imminent arrival of intergalactic life forms) Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.