Raised Wrong

First episode of 2022!! Topics include War & Peace, permanent makeup, plastic surgery, hit 2004 television show Wife Swap, balloon boy, being a whore for brands on social media, veterans & pregnant people, grocery store virtue signaling, and calling off weddings. Plus,  45 Ways to Get Even Closer To Him from a truly terrible 2008 Cosmo.  And finally, we f**k, marry, and kill some "win...

Topics include Home Alone, singing at babies, holiday depression, wearing your own merch, zebras, getting in fights at Disney World, and the demographics of Diet Coke drinkers.  Plus a very special edition of terrible advice: terrible Kotex advice. And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill some weird ass Christmas traditions. 

Topics include movie trailers, mushrooms, Michael Clayton, being tired, being mad, NordicTrack, the Contact Lens King, Timothée Chalamet, 'unskilled’ workers, Elon Musk, and the New York City clown community. Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan magazine lets us know that it’s okay to have conversations with other humans, even if they’re women. And finally,  a Thanksgiving tradition-inspired game of  F*...

Merry Halloween, patriots! Topics include falafel, primates, inflatables, yelling at children, tacos, wood with a past (Jessica’s viral TikTok), writers with thesauruses, things being “too much”, self-diagnosing, Mean Girls, butter, and more. Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan magazine warns us about getting tattoos and flashing our nips on television. And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill 3 classic Halloween co...

Topics include Eleanor Roosevelt and Amelia Earhart, gossip. Boomer comedians for Boomers, horse-punching energy, a warning about Gilbert Gottfried cameos, sex-ed for grown-ass men, John Mulaney and parasocial relationships, the Iron Cowboy, narcissists, and so much secondhand embarrassment. Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan magazine helps us feel better about our "female behaviors." And finally...

Topics include American cheese, charcuterie, Subway the restaurant, Jeanne's first and last real piece of writing, Jessica's legions of TikTok fans, men with daughters, a man and his dick, Stan Shunpike, and the *dangers* of masking children. Plus, a June 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine teaches us how to ask for a beach shack or a raise in the final installment of "How To Be Ballsier.&qu...

A very back-to-school edition of Raised Wrong. Topics include ear piercing, Oodles Babies, fighting with men, appreciating Gen-Z,  English teachers, the dad-first mentality, Dr. Phil & catfishing, rainbow flags, and critical thinking. Plus, a June 2003 Cosmopolitan ends up blowing our minds with FEMINISM. And finally, a school-lunch themed F**k/Marry/Kill. 

Topics include being home alone, monogamous tattoo artists, the Cleveland Guardians, Aunt Jemima, Love Island UK, Rhode Island, lovemaking, and hatemaking. Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine instructs us on how to speak to a hot guy. And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill 3 summer-fun activities

Topics include America, hotel gyms, the Hard Rock Cafe, fruity drinks, hot air balloons, parasailing, bad coworkers, and internet geniuses. Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine helps us talk to a maitre'd. And finally we play a Summer Olympics edition of F**k/Marry/Kill with 3 weird sports.

LIVE (but not really) from the AC Marriott in Dublin, Ohio, we honestly raise more questions about hotels than we answer! Topics include bibles, ice machines, emergency exits, black lights, waxing, Sha'Carri Richardson (after the news), juicy beef burgers, and more. Plus, a hotel-themed version of F**k/Marry/Kill.

Topics include canceled plans, bird parts, cicadas, Gilbert Gottfried, Sha’Carri Richardson (before the news), kooky psychiatrists (part II), and the immortal Cole Beasley. Plus, a June 2003 Cosmo teaches us how to be "ballsier." And finally, a daddy-themed edition of F*ck/Marry/Kill.

Topics include tooth-brushing, pussy quadrants, roller skates AND blades, $400 bikinis,  Lexapro, influencer mommies, Clay Aiken, and the true meaning of Memorial Day.  Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan blows ours minds regarding THRILL-SEEKING STUDS (aka pirates). And we play a sort of creepy fast food edition of F**k/Marry/Kill.  AND the birth of a NEW Raised Wrong segment???

We're back! Wow. Topics include drive-through vaccinations, how not to write a book, being naked at the dermatologist, living your best life with botox, tiny houses, stupid computers, veterinary medicine, and “I didn’t know I was pregnant” stories. Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan magazine gives us an absolutely psychotic list of 16 things not to “blab on and on about.” And finally, the long-awaited...

Topics include the deep state plot against Matt Gaetz, TMG (too much guacamole), dentists, plastic surgery, shelf butts, vaccine theatre, and a desperate plea for you to join TikTok. Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine gives us the scoop on why guys dump us! And finally, a Kardashian-themed F**k/Marry/Cill.   

Topics include birthday presents (good & bad), sleep complaining, Ativan and more Ativan, fancy face serums, Botox, AirPods Pro, Lil Nas X, runaway dogs, and libertarian anti-feminists. Plus, a Cosmopolitan magazine from 2003 encourages us to create our own signature sex move. And finally, we play an Easter-themed edition of F**k/Marry/Kill.

WARNING: This episode, while very hilarious, contains content related to depression and suicidal thoughts.  Other fun topics include opossums, Jessica's ass, Operation Varsity Blues: The Movie, Jeni's Everything Bagel ice cream, permanent Daylight Saving, and Pepé Le Pew. Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine gives us priceless advice on bonding with our man (over farts).  And finally, we c...

Topics include sweatshirts (as per usual), Tyra Banks, birthdays, baked Cheetos, bullying, the C-word, blood, more blood, divorce, and Dr. Seuss. Plus, a continuation of some very beverage-based relationship advice from a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine. And finally, a “canceled by conservatives” edition of F**k/Marry/Kill. 

Topics include puzzles, massages, Nextdoor, stealing cars, friendship, Bridgerton, #nomakeup, nudes, staring at babies, guns, and potatoes.  Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine encourages us to go to the opera and drink lots of juice in order to get closer to our MAN.  And finally, a very special Women's History Month edition of F**k/Marry/Kill.

Topics include driver's tests, trumpets, the movie Castaway starring Tom Hanks, vagina hair lasers, snow days, the Britney Spears documentary, skinny jeans, soggy jeans, and yoga pants. Plus, we learn 2 mindblowingly stupid tricks to “make him ACHE for you” from a 2006 Cosmopolitan magazine. And finally, a distasteful Presidents Day edition of F**k/Marry/Kill.

Topics include Facebook, Doogie Howser, M.D., smoothies, GameStop, ring lights, Thinx poison panties, anti-vaxxers, Honda Civics, learning to stepparent, Vanna White, Mitt Romney’s hair, and marriage resumes. Plus, a 2003 Cosmopolitan magazine gives us some rock solid advice on how to make someone say, “I love you.”  And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill 3 of the most glorious informercial products. 

Topics include Larry King, tiny foods, giant hoodies (Part III), dry streaks, Shake Shack, more senseless tattoos, the national anthem, the New York Times, and how to know when you need a divorce. Plus, 10 things you should NEVER do in your guy’s pad, courtesy of a Cosmopolitan magazine from the year 2003. And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill our 3 least favorite months. 

Topics include giant hoodies (Part II), bone broth, the 1 Second Everyday app, seasonal depression, being rejected by Matt LeBlanc, saying adieu to Parler, the insurrection, and fighting over NFL football. Plus, we give you 3 out of the 50 Ways To Be A Better Girlfriend from a 2005 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. And finally, we F**k/Marry/Kill three of the trendiest millennial foods.

Happy new year! Topics include giant hoodies for tiny little babies, Jeanne's new favorite food, the sexy side of the Great British Baking Show,  having a personality on ANTM, Juice WRLD & know-it-all old men, how to take nudie pics, and Hilaria Baldwin. Plus, some timeless advice on online dating, written in 2004.  And finally, we play a Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve edition of F**...

Topics include getting dressed,  the Babybel cheese family, more cheeses, the lesbian Christmas movie, Ben Shapiro (again), DR. Jill Biden the doctor, and Olivia Jade breaking the silence. Plus, some *very* special advice from the not unacclaimed 2004 book, “How to Make Someone Love You In 90 Minutes Or Less.” And finally, our last Christmas-themed F**k/Marry/Kill of the year: Bob Cratchit, Ebenez...

Topics include Christmas trees, Hillbilly Elegy, bronzer, the magic of Etsy, ACDC, the disappointment of LinkedIn, the aging of America’s Next Top Model, and the importance of treating one’s self. Plus, a 2004 Cosmopolitan magazine tries to convince us, once again, that dopamine is a magical love potion. And finally, we we F**k/Marry/Kill  three (what’s the opposite of beloved?) Christmas songs.