podcasts – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first. X-PLAINED: An off-panel death X-Force #62 Beast #1-3 Karma’s family and backstory (again) Twin absorption

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along. X-PLAINED: The worst mutant power Generation X #20-21 X-Factor #127 Bachalo critters Bastion (more) (again) Daria (but not the one

In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.

In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

Inferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we've got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman--unedited this time, so please forgive the audio--going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale!

In which Hub & Lisa X-Plain Howard the Duck; Jay & Miles X-Plain Daydreamers; and Jonathan Hickman X-Plains his tenure on the X-line!

In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends. X-PLAINED: How Logan got his adamanitum back

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends. X-PLAINED: Heroes Reborn Return Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial Onslaught

In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans. X-PLAINED: The Clone Saga (briefly) How not

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.

In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook. X-PLAINED: The Golden Archer Wolverine #104-105 Generation X #18-19

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)! As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.https://www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/X349.mp3

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot. X-PLAINED: Teenage Iron Man Onslaught thus far What Onslaught wants Uncanny X-Men #335 X-Men Unlimited #11 Avengers #401 The rebirth of Apocalypse The Apocalocophagous The Age of Wonders X-Man vs. Professor X Nate Grey-sitting Humanity’s Last Stand Simon Trask Bastion

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.