Old Fogies & Films

The Fogies are abuzz with the feels over Tell It to the Bees, though the Vada Sultenfusses deep inside us all watched in fear. We tried telling it to the bees, but they weren’t listening, so the Fogies told it to each other. Tell It to the Bees - dir. Annabel Jankel - 2018

One might say we can’t see past the ends of our noses, but we’d really be fibbing if we said we didn’t like this movie! The Fogies each found a home inside the hollow chest of one wooden boy. Join us before the bombs drop! Pinocchio - dir. Guillermo del Toro - 2022

‘Appy ‘Olidays from Mrs. ‘Arris! Tailor-made for some Fogies, a bit ill-fitting for others, however we all welcomed the joy this movie sparked in our winter collection. Mrs. ‘Arris is a-Dior-able!

The Old Fogies aren’t sure who to blame, but it’s definitely not OUR fault! Someone definitely should’ve had a conversation about Kevin before 2011, and the Fogies hope we’re still talking about him today. Not to get too chicken-or-the-egg, but was Ezra Miller cast as Kevin, or was Kevin cast as Ezra Miller? We Need to Talk About Kevin - dir. Lynne Ramsay - 2011

The Old Fogies squirm in their theater seats watching a group of desperate actors get twisted up in knots at the mere thought of recognition for a movie called "Home for Thanksgiving." Collagen, compromise, and cringe, oh my.   For Your Consideration - dir. Christopher Guest - 2006

The Old Fogies watched Emilia Clarke get swept off her feet by a man whose feet never touch the ground. But then the other kitschy shoe drops, and she receives a devastating performance review. Me Before You - dir. Thea Sharrock - 2016

In this one, gay men try to steal dolphin symbolism right out from under lesbians’ (bottle?) noses. How very dare they. It’s soapy, but there’s plenty of water imagery to wash it down with. The Fruit Machine - dir. Phillip Saville - 1988

SEASON FINALE! What’s The Truth About You? And are you brave enough to confront it? With the sudden and terrifying rise in anti-LGBTQA+ hate crimes around the world, the Fogies close out Pride month with The Truth About Jane—a rather tame, but certainly personal and emotional story about a gay youth experiencing hate and rejection but learning to love herself despite these forces against her. Some...

Ruth invites you to our final movie of the season! Coming Wednesday, June 29!

Michelle Pfeiffer, white oleanders, milk. Pretty and poisonous. Hey, if you’re lactose intolerant, milk is a real bitch. But Ms. Pfeiffer only plays poisonous in 2002’s White Oleander, and, just like her young on-screen daughter, the Fogies are in her thrall. We all endeavor to differentiate ourselves from our parents in our teen years, though usually the legal system isn’t literally putting bars...

Tikia invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 15!

You can never go home again, as they say, especially once you’ve been put IN a home. To launch Pride 2022, the Fogies watched Todd Stephens’s Swan Song, and though our hero still has a TWINK-le in his eye, the world he knew has faded from memory. As we celebrate our freedom and how far we’ve come, let’s BEAR in mind the insidious elements in our society, who still plot daily to take it all away, b...

Here comes Pride! Aric invites you to our latest movie, coming Wednesday, June 1!

The Fogies were so hypnotized by Harvey Keitel’s hair in Taxi Driver, that we were compelled to assassinate… filmic good taste! Just kidding - we managed not to embarrass ourselves too badly as reviewers, nor be radicalized into hate-filled, incel vigilantes. But damn, he do have that Pantene shine.

Robert NeDiro* invites you to our latest movie, assigned by his mother, coming Wednesday, May 18! *Not his real name.

They say this cat Diane Wiest is a bad mother– (Shut your mouth!) But we’re talkin' 'bout Diane Wiest! (Then we can dig it.) The Fogies watched a reprehensible Rosamund Pike fight a comically ineffective Peter Dinklage over the liberty of one elderly mother, a badass that the script wastes with no agency for recourse on her own. Prepare yourself for: I Care A Lot. Some of us enjoyed this…thriller?...

Fahad invites you to our latest movie, assigned by his little ole self, coming Wednesday, May 4!

Welcome to Spice World! No, not Dune, but Earth during the late 90s. The Fogies were inspired to reminisce even longer than the film’s 93 minutes, delighted by the girls taking the piss and hamming it up; it’s quite the wild ride, innit? Mad rhymes. We are the greatest generation, because at 16 the Spice Girls taught us all of life’s great lessons: always reach for your dreams, never take yourself...

Listen to us charmingly invite you to our special 25th movie celebration! Episode arrives Wednesday, April 20!

Laddies and Gentlewomen, brace yourself for the origin story of Rain Man, a superhero with incredible powers of memory and calculation who saves Tom Cruise from himself. Or at least that’s what one of our lil’ Fogies thought the film was about as a child. We’ve revisited this as adults after decades of cultural evolution regarding the subject matter, and it’s surprisingly sensitive! Tom would be o...

Surprise! Bonus Episode! Special Guest Fogey Stewart assigns us Chinatown, but Jake Gittes isn’t the only one who doesn't know what’s going on…one of our Fogies is a Fool and has secretly not watched the film. They must convince us that they have while we tell tall tales to trip them up. Happy April Fool’s Day!

Tikia invites you to our next episode featuring her latest movie on the marquee, coming April 6!

The Fogies survived Vox Lux! They really missed an opportunity here to cover the Bee Gees’ “Tragedy” in the style of STEPS. Pop music can be an escape from the horrors of life – unless, of course, you’re the one making it, and then it’s a prison of your own design. At least that seems to be the message from Natalie Portman’s incredible performance as the…protagonist? Still want to be famous though...

Aric invites you, in his own “special" way, to our next episode featuring his latest movie on the marquee, coming March 23!

Order up an oats soda and paint your toenails green, Seamus, the Fogies are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with…The Big Lebowski! Like a Coen Brothers’ movie: don’t question it. It works. Just go with it. Look, the Fogies aren’t responsible for the 90s, we just came of age during them. Get off our backs, man. Take a cue from The Dude in this modern cult classic, and roll with the (literal) punches.