Off Screen Death

Dave attempts to give Mike a Valentine's Day gift better than two Gwyneth Paltrows... We do not get emails on ancient computers, but we do get star crossed lovers, workplace drama that Michael Scott would be proud of, and…suicide. Again, Dave? Ok ignore the suicide attempt, this is actually a very sweet movie, minus the mean spirited fat phobia. Bonus in this episode, there are no ugly Englishman,...

The Sight & Sound was wrong draft relies on Englishmen... ...and we realize that by the late nineties that Hugh Grant was not walking through that door every time. If only Gwyneth Paltrow could learn that lesson quicker as we travel with her in a romcom multiverse that somehow manages to be more depressing than Bill Murray in GROUNDHOG DAY. And the men less sexually appealing than Stephen Tobo...

We delve deeper into Sight and Sound... this time with no sound. Well, kind of. Dave and Mike manage to compare one of the gems of silent film to both Avatar and Mean Streets. But they also talk about silent films in general and how unfair it is to compare. However, it’s no Terminator 2. Life can be difficult for action filmmakers (keep an ear out for William Friedkin in this episode) but nowhere...

David Mamet sure knows how to write an ending... ... even if they don't really use it. But, BUT... there is one of the greatest final speeches in the history of film and that is why one host picked this as his first selection in the Sight & Sound Was Wrong draft. Even though he didn't know it yet. For he hadn't seen the movie. And his co-host had. But he didn't trust him, Naturally. Put your t...

With the first selection in the SIGHT & SOUND Was Wrong draft... ...one can't go wrong with Sidney Lumet and Murphy Brown, right? RIGHT? Well here at OFF SCREEN DEATH we can as we admit to being befuddled by the sheer amount of women on screen. And all of their majors! And hopes! And dreams! It's like dating in college again. Which is to say mostly miserable. Enjoy the show as we stake our two...

We dive into the 2022 Sight and Sound list and find ourselves in The Sunken Place. Not really. Although maybe it would be The Sunken Place of Film Twitter if Twitter was still a thing. Thankfully at the start of this ten year project (!) we all seem to be in agreement that Jordan Peele's GET OUT will not only make the 2032 list but will be cracking the top 100 of cinema decades from now. And while...

This episode ends with Aubrey Plaza mommy talk. So you have that to look forward to. Before we get there though we talk about "mommy porn" as it relates to Kindles (yes) and if an excessive amount of body hair would allow us to take Jason Segal more seriously in sexual situations (not really.) These hard hitting topics required a guest as one host brings along his fiancee to hate watch the 2014 co...

"It's a historical fantasia, a claustrophobic thriller and a dark comedy of manners, all poised on a knife's edge between tabloid trash and high art." Justin Chang of the Los Angeles Times presumably would say the same thing about OFF SCREEN DEATH so we find ourselves in good company with Kristen Stewart in SPENCER. That's about the only comfort we can take away from this bit of holiday joy that h...

"The dumb parts of the movie are the best parts of the movie. I wish it had leaned into being more dumb." We here at OFF SCREEN DEATH thought James Wan's AQUAMAN was plenty dumb, Amy Nicholson . PLENTY DUMB. And we had a good time with it. Along the way Dave longs for Nicole Kidman (reasonable) and claims Venom as the one comic book character he would aspire to be (questionable) while Mike is comp...

"This is, of course, a big-screen sitcom, and in fact I would love to see this material transplanted to the TV screen, where it belongs." We use the words of the great Roger Ebert against him as a discussion on GRUMPIER OLD MEN leads into the effect of seeing something like DUNE on one's television at home. This has nothing to do with the fact that this episode is a year late NOR that perhaps tech...

"HUSH is probably the best home invasion film since Adam Wingard's YOU'RE NEXT." Shikhar Verma of High On Films is not exactly effusive in their praise , but we still agree. Also, HUSH is much better than WAIT UNTIL DARK (sorry, Audrey).  We talk mean spirited movies, representation battles, and somehow, yet again, redheads.  This is definitely MIke’s fault. Despite this, we make short jokes, talk...

"This 1967 thriller draws its effectiveness less from the intelligence of the direction (by Terence Young) than from the unbridled sadism of the concept." We think Dave Kehr of The Chicago Reader was a little mean to our director, but that doesn’t mean we liked WAIT UNTIL DARK. Mike has finally watched an Audrey Hepburn performance and he is filled with deep regret. Dave should have recommended CH...

"Once the buzz from the ending fades, you may find yourself resenting WELCOME HOME for not figuring out that it could've been a classic until it was too late to be one." Matt Zoller Seitz of RogerEbert.com perhaps had more confidence in the monthly selection of STARZ than we did but we aspire to get to that level of film enthusiasm. Especially for this reverse home invasion movie which has your ho...

"Navel-gazing malarkey." Keith Ulich of Time Out cuts right to the chase for any octogenarian who has been sitting on Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski's parenting adventures in AWAY WE GO for thirteen years. Thankfully, we know our demo and are here to correct assertions such as this one from Deborah Ross of The Spectator: "It's sweet, I suppose, but it's also oddly inconsequential, fake and annoyi...

"SOPHIE'S CHOICE is a rare film, literate, deeply moving, and gifted with an absolutely awe-inspire it performance by Meryl Streep." Bob Thomas of the Associated Press really comes out swinging and he should probably calm down. We all agree that Meryl is great, but the rest of the movie... not so much. "The way Streep inhabits Sophie, and brings her history to life whether she's explicitly talking...

"A sage once advised being wary of movies in which the people on screen are having more fun than the people in the audience. MAMMA MIA, was that good advice." Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times is a bit of a fuddy dud dy when it comes to Meryl Streep dancing with her ladies and having sex with a few men in this jukebox musical... and no, one hose didn't know what that term was but he immediate...

"Alas, it is Almodovar in my least favorite mode: As the man who crafts soap-operatic excuses for actresses like Cruz to weep at length." Dennis Harvey of 48 Hills, like many critics in history, gets it absolutely wrong . Yes, we agree that there are soap opera dynamics at play here, but in our (MUCH BETTER) opinion, Cruz acts admirably and downright calm, as opposed to “weeping at length. “Parall...

"As small and specific as it is, EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! feels improbably expansive, even universal. As Jake's endless Friday night turns into the inevitable Monday morning, it turns out that his lost weekend was all about being found." Ann Hornaday of The Washington Post gets it and gets us . Mike and Dave finally get to talk about one of the great hangout movies of all time, from the master of th...

"Simon's not in a lighthearted mood, and so the silliness of the story gets bogged down in all sorts of gloomy neuroses, angry denunciations, and painful self-analysis." Sounds like Roger Ebert is ALSO not in a lighthearted mood as he watched Neil Simon and Hal Ashby's THE SLUGGER'S WIFE. Neither were we. BUT THEN... the pathetic antics of our toxic romantic lead just keep going and one host becam...

"Bull Durham is a treasure of a movie because it knows so much about baseball and so little about love." Roger Ebert, who apparently has no faith in humanity, still finds a way to give Bull Durham a positive review. We, at Off Screen Death, have a bit more hope but still enjoyed the same things that he did. “The acting in Bull Durham cannot be faulted and should be remembered at Oscar time. Sarand...

Give us all the movie stars in an expensive romcom and we still want more Kathryn Hahn. That's just one of the many complaints from one co-host as we celebrate the return of baseball this April with our own list of the sport as featured in film. "Instead of juicing it up with jokes, Brooks has inadvertently given us another story of the American condition, which is that of absolute and incorrigibl...

"It's a long and poorly paced and plays too loose with the facts. Oh well!" "The bonkers true story that chronicles the unraveling of the Italian fashion empire is also first-class frothy and fun entertainment.” This is from Mara Reinstein of US Weekly, but it might as well be from Mike. Whatever, who cares? It’s fun and dumb! “House of Gucci isn't aggressively bad, but it is undeniably tedious, t...

"We deserved it. I mean, if you get a pummeling, you deserved it. But isn't it wonderful to remember a time that America was once so innocent that all we had to worry about was the next Batman movie?" - Joel Schumacher Are we really wasting another weekend on a new release? Well it’s Batman (excuse me, THE BATMAN) and the whole world is watching so what do you expect? Your regular hosts, plus Dere...

"The corpse of Notting Hill is reanimated, frightfully, in this star-crossed rom-com about love across the fame divide." Kevin Maher of The Times certainly seems to be a fan of that Julia Robert/Hugh Grant classic. Or at least very defensive about it. So are we! Which is why we feel slightly bad picking on Owen Wilson's battle between his youthful screen persona and the natural aging process in th...

"Stone's film is hypnotically watchable. Leaving aside all of its drama and emotion, it is a masterpiece of film assembly." Once again, Roger Ebert states succinctly what it takes podcasters near an hour to say , repeatedly. But yes, we agree with Roger. JFK is Oliver Stone’s one absolute masterpiece. And indeed, it is a movie you (and we) should watch (or rewatch) before you die. True to our usua...