Messy & Serene

This one is for the people who love someone who is struggling and do not know what to say. And for the person who is struggling and has not yet found someone safe enough to say it to. This week we are getting practical. What does it actually look like to show up for someone who is in a dark place? What do you say? What do you not say? What makes someone feel heard versus what makes them pull away...

We are in September- Suicide Awareness Month. And I have to be honest with you. I did not plan this. I recorded last week's episode without even knowing what month it was. And when I found out... I just had a moment of pure awe. That is God. Not me. So we are spending the whole month talking about mental health. And today I want to start at the beginning. The reason so many people never ask fo...

In 2024, nearly 49,000 people in the United States lost their lives to suicide. That is 133 people every single day. And we sit back and say... I never saw it coming. This week I am having the conversation we are not having enough. About mental health. About the stigma that keeps people suffering in silence. About high functioning depression - the kind that looks like achieving and functioning and...

Sometimes love looks like letting go. Even when it terrifies you. This week I am sharing the story of the month my husband booked a one way flight to be with his father during a health crisis- and what it was like to be left behind. Not knowing how long he would be gone. Not feeling like a perfectly healthy person. Not knowing how I was going to do it. What followed was thirty days of grief, soap...

This one is for anyone who has ever had a day where everything that could go wrong did. And then the patio door shattered. This week I am sharing the story of one of my hardest days in a long time. A red day in my trading community that sent me into a full ugly cry spiral. The shame voice that told me my community hated me. The moment I had to choose between performing perfect and being human. And...

We took an unplanned week off. Life got full. Something had to give. And this week I am back with a real update on where things have been, what is coming, and a little grace for all of us who are doing our best in the middle of a lot. Also I had a birthday. And I redid my entire office at nine o'clock one evening for absolutely no reason. And there are so many episodes coming that I cannot wai...

I experience imposter syndrome more often than I care to admit. Sometimes multiple times in the same day. Even when the evidence says the opposite. Even when God is clearly moving. This week we are talking about the voice that says who do you think you are. The doubt that shows up right when things are going well. The why me that creeps in even when you are standing in the middle of something God...

The messy middle is the waiting room. And I think that is actually what this whole podcast has been about from the very beginning. This week we are talking about the space between where you started and where you are going. The season that feels like it is taking too long. The promise you believe in that has not arrived yet. And what God is actually doing in the quiet while you wait. I am sharing s...

Before you scroll past - this is not an attack on being positive. I love positivity. Stay with me. This week we are talking about the difference between genuine encouragement and toxic positivity. The way that well-intentioned words - offered too quickly, before someone has been given space to actually feel their pain - can land as invalidation instead of support. And why I think this is contribut...

This one is for anyone who has ever prayed and heard nothing back. The seasons where God feels completely quiet are some of the hardest in a life of faith. Because we expect Him to show up big and obvious and unmistakable. And sometimes He does. But sometimes He shows up as a closed door. A redirection. A peace that settles in your spirit without a single word of explanation. This week we are talk...

After last week we needed a breath. This is that breath. This week we are talking about grace. The kind you give yourself when you realize you have been holding yourself to a standard nobody could meet. And the kind you extend to the people around you when you finally understand that they are just as human as you are. I am sharing the moment I realized my parents were not being strict because they...

This one is heavy. And holy. And I believe someone needs to hear it today. This week we are talking about suffering well- what it actually means, what it actually costs, and what it looks like from the inside of a season where you are being asked to choose faith over and over again when everything in you wants to give up. I am sharing things I have never said publicly before. The moment in my pare...

This is not a budgeting episode. This is a come-sit-down-and-let-me-tell-you-what-nobody-told-me episode. I grew up with strong financial foundations. I had licenses. I knew the systems. And I still lost myself in the chase. Because nobody warned me about what happens when money stops being a tool and starts being everything. This week we are talking about the relationship with money that nobody a...

Let me be honest with you about something. The scroll still gets me. I have not overcome it. I manage it. But I have not arrived at a place where it has zero effect on me. And I think pretending otherwise would be doing you a disservice. This week we are talking about the comparison trap. The way it walks in without permission. The vacation scroll that makes you question your entire season. The hi...

This one is for anyone who has ever felt like they were growing in a direction the people around them couldn't quite follow. Or who has moved so many times that deep, settled community keeps feeling just out of reach. Or who is quietly carrying a longing for their people while performing like they are completely fine. This week I am getting honest about something I have actually lived. Not the...

Married ladies - I told you I had you. This one is for us. This week we are talking about the things nobody warns you about before you say I do. Not the vague "marriage takes work" version. The real version. The thermostat version. The he-makes-the-bed-while-I'm-still-in-it version. The I-told-him-I-was-a-morning-person-and-technically-I-didn't-lie version. 😄 But also the real s...

This one is for my single ladies and the ones still in the dating season. But if you're married - don't skip. Think about who in your life needs this message. A friend. A daughter. Someone you love who keeps choosing the wrong person. Let me be your messenger. Send it to them. And to whoever just got that link forwarded to them - hi. I'm Natalie. I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. Yo...

This one is a little lighter. A little more honest. And somehow still going to hit exactly where you live. This week I'm sitting down and talking about the parts of myself I have had to make peace with. The relentlessness that has served me and cost me at the same time. The girl who used to not be the shoulder to cry on and had to learn how to be. The black and white thinker learning to live i...

This one has been sitting with me for a long time. And I finally felt ready to say it out loud. This week we are talking about the connection between emotional stress and physical illness. The years I spent saying yes to everything and no to myself. The relationships that cost me more than I realized. The things that happened to me that my body never forgot even when my mind tried to move on. And...

Have you ever looked back at your life and realized God was setting something up while you were completely clueless about what was happening? This week we are getting into it. The cancelled plans that turned into something better. The prayers He answered so fast you asked for another sign anyway. The detours that turned out to be the whole point. And how I ended up at Kleinfeld buying my wedding d...

Last week we talked about saying yes to your calling. This week we're talking about how to protect it. Boundaries. I know — stay with me. For a long time I thought setting a boundary meant I was doing something to someone. Cutting them off. Shutting them out. And so I avoided them. I kept the peace. I said yes when I meant no. I absorbed things that were running me down. And I genuinely believe th...

What happens when God calls you somewhere that makes zero sense to everyone around you? This episode is about the tension between calling and culture - the voice that tells you to fit the mold, follow the formula, and stay on the expected path. And the quieter, more persistent voice underneath all of that noise that keeps saying: come anyway. I'm sharing some of the most pivotal moments of my...

Nobody warned us about this part. Not the big stuff - the mental tabs that never close. The invisible, unending, completely relentless labor of tracking everything, remembering everything, anticipating everything, and holding it all together while also just… living your life. This week we're talking about the mental load. What it is, why we carry it, and why you are more exhausted than you think y...

Have you ever made a decision that was completely right for you… and still felt terrible about it? Have you ever grown into something new and felt guilty about who or what you were leaving behind? This episode is for the empaths. The otters. The ones who have been so busy making sure everyone around them is okay that they forgot to check in with themselves. We're talking about the guilt that comes...

She did that. And so did you. 💌 This episode is a little different - and I am so excited about it. In honor of Women's History Month I passed the mic to a group of incredible women who are leading, building, healing, teaching, and creating in their own fields and in their own way. I asked each of them one question: "What is one thing you wish every woman knew?" What they said - I ha...