Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Sometimes, if we’ve been single for a while—or longer than a while—we begin to doubt ourselves. We wonder why love seems so hard to find. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a particular quality we’re missing? What are men looking for anyway? Well, here’s the good news. You have exactly what your person is looking for! I promise. And, it’s not just my opinion, it’s what science says! Psychologi...

On Love & Life we talk about beliefs all the time—because they’re incredibly powerful and they impact every area of our lives—especially our love life. What we believe about ourselves and what we believe we have to offer a partner sets the tone we bring to our dating efforts and experiences. And sometimes, we hold beliefs that assert influence over us, but we don’t even know we hold these beli...

Sexless in the city? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? In our hyper-sexualized culture, it appears everyone is hooking up without concern—giving no thought whatsoever to the impact casual encounters have on our soul and psyche. But this perception may not be the reality—it certainly isn’t for blogger and author Kat Harris. Kat has thought deeply about sex—its place in her life as a Christian, s...

I’ve rolled out a few reels over the last couple months talking about cultivating an empowered mindset for empowered dating! But unfortunately, for some of you watching overseas, the audio won’t play when music is placed behind the vocal track (perhaps it’s a licensing issue in some countries?) When I learned some of you weren’t able to hear the audio, I figured the best way to work around this pr...

Tausha Pearson would tell you, “It all started with a ‘crazy’ single mom tax return…” “Crazy” meaning—she had a chunk of money she didn’t need. So, she took that tax return and spent it on a trip to Haiti. While touring Haitian orphanages with 11 social work interns, Tausha learned 80% of the orphans had families who desperately wanted them home but couldn’t afford to feed and educate them. In add...

Have you heard? You can now listen to my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right ! It’s available on Audible and iTunes! To celebrate the release of the audio version, I wanted to provide a chapter as a podcast episode so you could get a feel for the book and what it’s all about. It’s essentially the book I wish had been available to me when I was still single and, as...

If you’ve dated a passive man or TRIED to date a passive man—because he never got around to asking you out—this episode is for you! As empowered women, we’ve been raised to take charge and take action, but does that work for us when dating? Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to share his thoughts on male passivity—what it’s about and how to handle it! Elliott and I discuss: Why women who’ve...

Lisa Cleary went through a bad breakup at age 31. In addition to grieving the demise of her relationship, she lost her job and ended up homeless. She slept on friends’ sofas for months. She felt defeated and demoralized—this was not where she expected to be at 31. And while her life unraveled, her friends’ lives seemed to play out perfectly. Lisa got knocked down hard, but through her pain and str...

In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer 3 questions: 1. How can I tell if the attraction I feel for someone is healthy?  What if the “sparks” are a result of a trauma bond or anxious attachment style? 2. How can I address the topic of a pre-nup with my fiancé? He has a son and I’m currently taking care of us financially because he’s in school. I just want to be sure I’m taking care...

We say it every week on Love & Life , “Take charge of your thoughts! Take charge of your life!” And what better way to do so than by taking a deep dive into female brain chemistry! Thanks to Dr. Tracy Alloway’s new book, Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You , we now have a comprehensive resource for harnessing our female brain and apprecia...

In last week’s episode Dan and I answered your questions—many of which surrounded the beginning of our relationship. We noted we started dating in late August and Dan asked me to be exclusive in early January—about 4 ½ months. Much to my surprise, I received a lot of feedback from you with comments like, “How did you wait so long?” “Wasn’t it hard knowing he was dating other people? I’d be so jeal...

Recently, I posted a poll on Instagram asking if you had any questions or topics you wanted Dan and me to discuss on the program. You had a LOT to say and today we respond to you questions and concerns in an episode devoted to how to have a GREAT relationship. Specifically, we cover: What do men worry about when dating? What were Dan’s concerns? Do men really change for a woman if she’s The One? H...

There’s still a bit of mystery—and sometimes, stigma—surrounding psychotherapy, so I’m starting an occasional series called, “Let’s Talk Therapy!”  In these episodes we’ll pull back the curtain and provide the inside scoop on what counseling is all about! Today, Eli Weinstein, LCSW, shares his professional and personal journey as a social worker and therapist. Join us as we discuss: The linge...

No one makes it through childhood unscathed—and for some, childhood consists of multiple traumatic events. We carry these wounds with us as we step into adulthood—at which point, we may hope to just survive. But can we actually THRIVE after trauma? Shari Botwin, LCSW, joins me to talk about her book, Thriving After Trauma:  Stories of Living and Healing. Shari discusses her own childhood trau...

Relationships don’t have to be so difficult—they can actually be fluid and even EASY! But they definitely can’t be easy if we pick unhealthy, toxic partners. And all too often, we’re completely unaware as to why we keep attracting—and being attracted to—dysfunctional people in the first place. For years, Anita Stoudmire chose men who were incapable of being the partner she desired. Eventually, she...

One question I often receive is, “I know ‘core values’ are important in relationships, but to be honest, I’m not sure I actually know what mine are.” In this episode, we discuss the definition of core values and how we can identify the ones that matter most to us. Furthermore, we explore how clarifying our core values not only allows us to better understand ourselves, but also prepares us to recog...

It’s hard to trust when our heart has been broken multiple times. We get jaded and bitter. We build up a wall of protection. We worry we’ll never be able to trust anyone ever again. This week I answer 3 listeners’ questions. One listener asks exactly this: How can I trust again after being cheated on multiple times and spending 9 years in a toxic relationship? Another listener wonders if she shoul...

One of the themes of Love & Life is Never Settle! But for women who refuse to settle in love, it might take a while to meet our person. Most of us are okay waiting for the right one, but it’s our biological clock that puts the pressure on us. The realities of our fertility can’t be ignored—we can’t procreate forever. But over the last several years, egg freezing has moved from an experimental...

Most of us assumed we’d eventually be mothers. And, many of us deeply desired this—we dreamed about it, we planned for it, we read parenting books preparing ourselves for this most important role. But sometimes, life doesn’t play out as we’d hoped and we end up childless not by choice. Katy Seppi of Chasing Creation joins me to talk about how we can move through this profound loss—the loss of some...

I LOVE hearing from you and I know listeners LOVE hearing from each other! So a few months ago, I reached out to you via my newsletter to see if anyone wanted to tell her story. I was so happy Kate Griffith agreed to share the struggles she faced during her single years—but also, and more importantly, why she’s actually glad for her single years and the growth she experienced while navigating life...

Brunnie’s childhood was rough. Her family struggled with addiction, abandonment, abuse, poverty, and more. As a result, she created a protective shell around her which left her “emotionally frozen” and withdrawn. In college, she sought out counseling—she knew she needed help. Her therapist empathized with her, validating the adversity she’d endured. Then he said two words that changed her life for...

In part 2 of my recent Insta live with Laura Behnke, we break down three ridiculous lies single women hear ALL the time! Unfortunately, we heard them, too, and in this episode we share how we pushed back against them! We then answer questions we received from those watching the live: 1. Do we miss anything about being single? 2. How can I tell the difference between a dealbreaker vs. typical ups a...

Last week I did an Instagram live with Laura Behnke of Life Actually. Laura and I align on so many levels—she also found love later than she’d hoped to and therefore dealt with “single shaming” along the way. Laura’s been there, felt that and learned to embrace her life actually! Join us for a lively conversation discussing: How to increase your self worth (spoiler alert:  science says there’...

Many of you resonated with our recent conversation on the father wound (ep. 125) and asked if we’d speak to the mother wound, too. So, psychotherapist and pastor Elliott Anderson is back to discuss how mother wounds affect our dating and relationships. Join us to learn: How the mother wound differs from the father wound. Common mother wounds children experience. Enmeshment with mothers and how thi...

Fear is a powerful force—it permeates all realms of love and life but it seems particularly impactful when it comes to dating. We fear meeting someone new—because we’ve been rejected before. We fear trusting—because our trust has been broken in the past. We fear committing—because commitments never seem to last. At the same time, we fear not dating, trusting, and committing because we fear being a...