Living Inside Out with Toks

What does it mean to live from the inside out?   We are wired to use our physical senses to judge the safety of our environment. In other words, our brain searches for problems so we can take action to protect us from danger.   This feature goes into overdrive when every single decision you make is based on what your senses perceive—for example, deciding to start a new business because you 'heard'...

Often parents will purchase a pair of shoes for their growing child, a size or half a size larger because they know their feet will grow into it. Do you create space to grow? In this episode, I share the subtlety and consequence of stagnancy. Personal growth is a phrase that's used a lot today, but the reality of its practice does not match our verbal usage.  One reason we don't grow is that we do...

Do you stop to notice the signs of growth? In this episode, I share the importance of doing just that. I have found the fear and anxiety often show up at the point of making a decision that will move me forward. So when I was confronted with a new situation this week, even though it felt more like a threat, I recognised it as an opportunity for growth.   Taking that step forward does not immediate...

Everyone dreams, but some are waiting to see the space where the dream will stand, before taking action to make it a reality. Your dream has to be bigger than what your environment tells you. One of the most powerful lessons I've been privileged to understand has been learning to make plans not based on present resources, but based on God's promises; based on unseen future resources.  We often dra...

I once heard someone say everyone is in one of three stages, just come out of a trial, currently in one or about to step into one. We can agree that challenges are inevitable, but how can we go through the fire without giving up? In this episode, I share three mindsets we can adopt to help us journey through the difficult seasons of life. Growth mindset. A growth mindset believes that where they a...

Why do we shy away from stepping out of the comfort zone?   The brain prefers the familiar, predictable part. It's easier for it to navigate a route it has always gone on. Each time you change activity or start something new, your brain uses up calories. It translates the unfamiliar to mean danger and will work to get you out of there.   So when we are gifted with a new idea, thinking and talking...

What do you say to yourself when you're discouraged? The words we hear on a daily basis determine the direction of our thoughts, and consequently our actions. What we listen to during intense situations carry enough power to stir you away from or into an emotional dungeon. In this episode, I share some of my favourite quotes, mantras and scriptures that can help you start moving again when you fee...

Being a woman in business comes with its share of challenges, but we also have our superpower to help us navigate them. In this episode, #16 of the Living Inside Out Podcast, I share four tips for the new female business owner to help her win at life and business.   Business Life Hack: Build Your Community There is a saying in business that goes you can’t work on your business while working in you...

In the United Kingdom, 32% of businesses are owned by women. In the United States the figure is 39% and in Ghana, its a whopping 44%.   When it comes to employment, 72.7% of women form part of the workforce in the United Kingdom and in the USA the figure is 57.9%.   More women are balancing or attempting to balance a job or business with raising the family, yet, we keep adding to our plate without...

In the previous episodes, we looked at how our environment feeds us, and we zeroed in on the role of friends in our life. Now because we are made up of spirit, soul and body, it follows that we are being fed not just from the outside, but from our spirit and our mind.   How do you know where to receive advice from if your mind is saying one thing and your spirit is saying something else?   The min...

Narcissism. I watched Jada Pinkett smith's red table talk where she had a psychologist as a guest. Dr Ramani Durvasula shared the traits of a narcissist and In the spirit of becoming a better friend to my friends, I found myself hoping I’m not a narcissist. We think of someone who is so self-absorbed that they make everything about them, and while I don’t think I do, I did check a box or two while...

Did you know that the people in your circle influence the decisions you make? Taking time to inspect your environment and how it is feeding you is crucial, and your relationships form a large part of your environment.   In this episode I share, some of my experiences with friendships that have had a limiting effect on me. The stories are true but the names are fictitious. You may find some of thes...

A girl’s first friend is herself, before her siblings if she has any. The closeness and love we have for ourselves I believe forms the foundation of future relationships. Any insecurities we carry are in part responsible for any toxic relationships we are holding on to.    I don’t know about you but as I’ve gotten older, my circle of friends have shrunk. Maybe its because you truly need a village...

When it comes to removing wrong mindsets, we have to understand the source. Without knowing how a lie became our truth, we run the risk of layering our minds with the same stuff again.    I know myself is a mindset that sounds grand, but it can be limiting. When the certainty of your knowledge of self  prevents you from attempting great feats, it is a problem.    It is good to know yourself, but d...

Mindsets are the basis from which our thoughts are formed. Your mindset is responsible for how you come to conclusions and often, for the thoughts you think. So what happens when we have a negative mindset that Is so believable? We unearth them. In this episode I share three limiting beliefs I discovered where holding me back and how I was able to get rid of them.   You don’t just get to change yo...

We have all been there, how one seemingly tiny error ends up setting everything on fire.  A single tweet from Justine Sacco set her career and the Twitterverse, alight. That was in 2015. She posted a racist comment then boarded a 12-hour flight to South Africa. Justine landed to meet the chaos including the loss of her job.   The use of racist slurs along with its denial, plus Mark Fuhrman's refus...

Emotions are what we experience when a thought moves us to act. Some are more intense than others and the intense ones are responsible for equally intense actions or beliefs. In this episode, How to Handle Intense Emotions, I share some tips on using the power of fear. We can either be led by fear, or we can use fear as a springboard to leap forward. I have learned that you can never understand a...

How do you make decisions- serious ones? Many of us do so based on our emotions. We are driven by the urgency, the pressing need that fear carries or pulled by the impulse joy brings. When we make decisions solely in response to our emotions, we are leaving the outcome to chance.   The trouble is emotions are unreliable. And relying on them can lead us down the wrong path.   In this episode, I sha...

Your feelings drive your actions. It is possible to have one desire but work towards an unrelated goal, one that your intention dictates.  Here's some news for you; we don't get what we want. We get what we intend.   In this episode, I share a story of how I had the privilege of being mentored by a seasoned, successful businessman, yet I did not experience the business growth I wanted because my i...

Crossbreeding has its place in the animal and plant kingdom, but grafting your idea on to someone else's opinion guarantees an infertile result.   Hybrids take the benefits from both sides. Hybrids are also sterile and don’t have the life to keep reproducing.   Our gifts are given to help us navigate challenges so why do we graft the opinions of others on to ours?    You can develop the confidence...

Authenticity is an elixir. It strips off the layers of expectation- ours and theirs- so we can connect as humans and experience the joy of simply being ourselves. Authentic living Is the mould which we fit perfectly into. You are an original, but your layers need to be removed. Does what you believe match up to what you say you believe? There is an invisible part of you that existed before you wer...

Life comes with upheavals and everyone can name that monumental event that they regard as a landmark one. Chances are, you can also tell the story that led to the event. The way you tell your story influences others' perception of you, and you can not tell a powerful story if you only see yourself through smudged lenses. Writing your own story gives you the tools to show up in a powerful, confiden...

In this episode, you get to meet me!   I believe that the tools for navigating choppy waters lie buried within us, but are overlayed multiple times over with various mindsets and limiting beliefs. It is the peeling back of those layers to reveal the gifts that will have us living a life of contentment.   A perfect storm is a particularly violent storm arising from a rare combination of adverse met...