Journey to Grateful

After the loss of someone close, it is a common suggestion not to make any large changes in the first year. Good advice, however, when making changes anytime after loss, it is wise to understand that specific advice is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. As each experience is different, so too are the responses associated with that experience. When grieving, some may wait more than a year to clean o...

The holiday season is a tough time of year for many people, but it can be particularly difficult for those who are grieving. Grief is an individual experience that's different for everyone. Grieving the death of someone you love is never easy, especially during the holidays when memories are everywhere and traditions may not be observed in the same way anymore. Grief doesn't have to get in the way...

In this week's episode, I explore the positive benefits of joining a bereavement group as well as helping you to consider engaging a counselor. Support and help, when dealing with a significant loss, can come from many sources. For myself and my family, our community, our friends, and our vast families have been our primary support system. Supporting us during the diagnosis of my wife's breast can...

Through each experience in life, there are times when our own perspective could use a boost or a second look through different eyes. This episode offers a glimpse of just that, a new point-of-view from my daughter, Karen. Although a shorter episode of the Growing Through Loss Series, Karen and I touch upon her perspective of the support of others while on her own grief journey. A viewpoint not onl...

Let me be clear, the title of this episode doesn't relate to an experience I've had or a specific experience from anyone I know. Instead, it's the subject of a written piece by John Roedel that a good friend shared with me this past week. It is so good and on point, I felt I had to share it. It's a lengthy piece, so I've decided to read excerpts with some thoughts sprinkled in, sharing why a parti...

As Journey to Grateful grows its community I realized some may not fully understand why the title of this podcast has been chosen. I explain the thought process behind the name of the podcast and encourage everyone, no matter their experience, to find the grateful in their lives. Grief is a lengthy journey, one which can become an integral part of your life for the foreseeable future. Finding your...

When experiencing and navigating grief there are times when you might wonder if you're doing it right. This Growing Through Grief Series episode quickly addresses that question not only with a direct answer but also explores the many additional aspects of how your grief will be different than someone else's grief. Join me as I discuss my experience with this exact question and what I've heard from...

Welcome to Part 2 of the Ten Surprises of Grief episode. As I've said before, through my grief journey, I've experienced many aspects of grief that have surprised me. I've also discovered more surprising experiences others have had with family or friends which became a large reason I began this podcast. It has been important to demystify the grief journey and shine a spotlight on misconceptions re...

During this new weekly series, I will share with you details of my grief journey as it's happening this week. Today I share with you my thoughts on Ups and Downs during grief, something I've been experiencing a bit more lately. Downs are not obviously external and they often don't feel the same way every time. I explain what I've been feeling this week, why I believe I'm a bit down lately, and thi...

Through my grief journey, I've experienced many aspects of grief – internal and external – which have surprised me. During early meetings with my bereavement group, I discovered more surprising experiences others have had with family or friends which became a large reason I began this podcast. It has been important to demystify the grief journey and shine a spotlight on misconceptions related to g...

When trying to help a friend or family member through their loss journey it's important to remember not to try too hard. The simplest of gestures will make as much of a difference and often times more. Don't try to compare your experience, instead, show understanding what they may be feeling and offer to be there for them as they need. Make your offers of help specific and easy for your newly grie...

As with living life for most anyone with a house and children, things tend to pile up. Responsibilities, issues, repairs, and school. When you add the process of grief into the mix, many small, inconsequential things have a way of having a larger impact on you. In this episode I explain my current grief journey as it reflects on every-day-life and offer words of encouragement for those who are fin...

With fall on the horizon, a seasonal transition here in the midwest becomes more obvious. With the shift of cooler weather, we find change is necessary to accept and move through. In grief, similar transitions are experienced far more than I ever thought possible. I've found only one thing that helps these transitions other than support, and that's maintaining a forward motion… one step at a time....

Welcome to my new weekly series, Growing Through Loss. This series is designed to strip back the typically planned podcast episode with a more off-the-cuff discussion of experiences I've had over the last week as they relate to my loss journey. This week I take an honest look at beginning a new school year once again without my teammate, my wife. I reflect on my lack of planning as it compares to...

In this episode, I chat with my guest, Mary Ellen, about her new perspective on sharing grief, which allows us to navigate our grief in a healthy manner. We also examine many aspects of loss where we find the need to ask for help while identifying our need for normal and what that looks like for us individually. Mary Ellen lost her husband just over two and a half years ago while I have recently p...

Although specific to those who have lost a spouse or partner who they have relied on to help with parenting, this episode examines another aspect of loss often overlooked. In the first days and weeks after loss, it's common to feel disorientated, and even more common to feel downright surprised at the many details of everyday life we took for granted when our spouse or partner was here. Parenting...

In this episode, I welcome back a special guest, Mary Ellen to discuss our perspective grief journeys and to provide for our listener's guideposts to help anyone on their own path of grief. We touch upon how we have approached a more healthy path of grief, accepting grief bombs as they come, holding tight to memories that have helped to shape our lives and to make room for taking care of ourselves...

With nearly a year since the loss of my wife, I've had my fair share of milestones to push through and I've found only one way to deal with them. Head on. Pushing them down or away will not allow you to prepare for them in a manner that is healthy. However, there is one thing about milestones you must prepare yourself for… and that is the unexpected. No matter how well you think you've prepped for...

Join me as I and my guest, Mary Ellen, experience our first grief conversation. Our focus begins with early grief and the many ways we have personally navigated those first days and weeks of our grief. We explore the idea of the individuality of grief and how to best embrace the journey and the process. We offer suggestions of coping, as we have experienced it, and share our personal expressions o...

In this episode, you will join me on a walk and discuss with you What Grief Looks Like. This new format came about through a challenge from a fellow podcaster. I tend to walk to clear my head, so this friend suggested I walk away from my computer & notes, instead take you on a walk with me as I freely discuss the misconceptions of what typical grief looks like. I will share with you my experiences...

Although a loss, however it occurs, is a difficult thing to face, we discuss accepting death before it happens and what details are involved in doing so. With everything in life, there are positive and negative aspects to almost everything we experience. Could there be a positive aspect of the anticipation of a loss that could be considered a blessing? If so, how best can we handle this to make th...

When it comes to support, we, as a family, have been very blessed. In numbers as well as types of support, our family and friends have truly been there for us through the illness and loss of my wife, Colleen to cancer. There is a group, however, that I feel the need to highlight as their constant support and heartfelt, thoughtfulness has simply been wonderful. It's not the usual adult friends, nei...

It truly shouldn't matter if you are 6 days or 6 months past the loss of someone special, your ability to reach out to your support system and ask for help does not have an expiration date. You may feel it's been too long to ask for help, but your friends and family feel differently. In fact, many are themselves, wondering how to reach out to you, how they can offer to help. I'm sure of it because...

The first days after a loss are never easy. There's no arguing that point. However, there can be moments of comfort seeded in the memories uncovered. Throughout the planning that will encompass much of the first week, I was able to find bright rays of sunshine in what I knew was my darkest days. Based on memories and stories shared by family and friends, this became the catalyst of how I pushed th...

Through the loss of my wife to cancer, I've come to understand the most valuable asset my family and friends possess is the ability to lift me up when I've needed it most with the simplest of gestures. There is no perfect formula to help someone grieve, the being there, listening, and providing a slice of normal is often exactly what is needed. However, it's hard for some people to know and unders...