Is this Love?

Crossing the boundaries into infidelity is like tiptoeing over a minefield, as it can detonate a relationship's foundation and unleash a cascade of harmful effects that not only impact both people’s health but adversely affects generations. Sadly, I observe the profound effects each day in the counselling room. Here's the ultimate chapter in my ongoing series on the Top 10 Relationship Blu...

Physical intimacy - the source of so much joy and frustration for many couples. Will you relate as I highlight the common experiences as noticed in the counselling room? Listen all the way through for helpful tips on what you can do.

Dare to revisit some of your biggest blunders or crazy arguments in your relationship. Did any occur when one or both of you were under the influence of alcohol? Have you or your partner ever been busted watching porn and what was the reaction? Join me in this episode for some insights to the counselling room on the somewhat effects of drinking and alcohol in couple's therapy and what you can...

I’m certainly not one to encourage peering into life’s revision mirror for too long, however it is worth giving yourself some recognition for making it through the recent years we have endured. Now that you’ve patted yourself on the back, let’s take a look at yourself and check you’re not making the 7th top relationship mistake I notice in the couple’s therapy room. Have you overlooked any lingeri...

Take out today’s to-do list and scan it for where the people you care most about are listed.  Not there? I agree with you. Your wife, husband, partner, children, grandparents, grandchildren and bestie don’t need to go on the list as they’re always there. But are they? It’s fair enough that the following elements of life’s journey take priority at times: …. The list goes on!newborns and growin...

Have the recent bizarre years extinguished your energy for passion and romance? You wouldn’t be the only one to have found yourself suffering from a bad case of “flat-mate syndrome”. Maybe you’re even struggling to make conversation with the person you fell head-over-heels with many moons ago or getting down and flirty together is a distant memory. Valentine’s Day was the perfect cue to invigorate...

What is the one major common denominator I notice that inhibits a healthy approach to conflict? Humans. Yes – you. Confronting, right? Rarely do we have the headspace to point the finger at ourselves when it comes to arguments with our partners. Why? Let me explain what the theme of "self" is so important to check why your approach to the conflict may be going so wrong. You may actually quite like...

We've all heard that "Jealousy is a curse"!  You may have also read that "Envy is the art of counting another's blessings instead of your own."  How about this one?   "A flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms". Jealousy wilts your relationships. The most well known form of jealousy is the sense of rivalry and suspicion. The unpleasant apprehensio...

Jane and Mark are great communicators. Their lifestyle is organised, structured and fun for their four children all under 14 years old. All children enjoy at least two after school activities each per week despite Mark working full time and Jane part-time. One child has special needs so attends additional therapies. Despite this, their lifestyle ticks along extremely well. Jane and Mark have rarel...

Have you ever struggled to comprehend or accept your partner’s previous life before you? Maybe they can’t handle your horrible histories? ​Welcome to Part 2 of my Top 10 Worst Relationship Mistakes Series. Here are some particularly challenging topics I’ve noticed when you can’t get past your spouse’s past: They’ve:​ lied or covered up mistakes from their family, friends or partner cheated on thei...

Welcome to the “Top 10 Worst Relationship Mistakes” series as noticed in the counselling room. You are welcome to enjoy this also from personal experience as a married relationship therapist who is living and breathing the wondrous relationship reality! Check out this series on my Instagram TV channel and on Facebook Live. Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renov...

Our interview with the incredible Dr Hugh Mackay and his fascinating acronym of the QPL! What an honour to share his insight and I know you'll note his findings make perfect sense! Hugh Mackay is a social researcher and bestselling author of 19 books, including The Good Life, The Art of Belonging and his latest: Australia Reimagined. He has had a 60-year career in social research, and was also a w...

As it turns out - quite a lot!  Find out why in this article as part of my "Inhibitors to Intimacy" series. - Check out my weekly column in the @sunshinecoastdaily Weekend Mag or on my Blog https://www.theconfidantecounselling.com/blog. - Tune in to radio Salt 106.5 https://salt1065.com/ each Friday morning for my co-host with Kristian on the morning Wakeup - Enjoy FREE relationship resources...

It's a wrap for my Inhibitors to Intimacy series with this beautiful term, Naked to the Soul". It blends beautifully with explaining one of those main blocks to the love your crave and deserve. With special thanks to Peter Janetzki for his expertise on this. Read this article as part of my "Inhibitors to Intimacy" series HERE. - Check out my weekly column in the @sunshinecoastdaily Weekend Mag or...

In these unprecedented times of a pandemic with terrifying updates bombarded so easily accessible to our hand-held devices at lightning speed. More than ever do we need to count on others for a sense of safety - especially for those in a relationship who want the safety their connection can bring. There's been no better time to evaluate the health of your relationship as we practise social distanc...

Tune in to the first of my new series, "Stockpiling Relationship Solutions". How do you cope with the unknown? What behaviours do those of you in a relationship find your partner exhibit when fearful? Do you have a child who surprises you with bizarre and unsettling responses to change or feeling scared? In these unprecedented times of a pandemic with terrifying updates bombarded so easily accessi...

The majority of everything has been cancelled. Many people are so unwell, there's anxiousness from worry and we've been instructed to isolate ourselves - the only way to stop the spread. You've therefore been relieved of the hectic child taxi service. You can't go to the gym, footy club or whatever your “thing”, is closed until further notice - there’s nothing on and finances might be tight. The s...

Sadly, we were already in the grip of a mental health crisis caused by trends in Australian society featuring shrinking households, greater tendency to be more mobile severing old-fashioned neighbourly friendships, the rate of separation and divorce, decreasing birth rate where we compensate with more pets instead (which isn’t all bad!) and the information technology boom that has us feeling more...

It seems social distancing and increased downtime for many equates to more screen time. Not a week goes by when cyber-related challenges aren't raised in the counselling room and I have some excellent prompts and topics for you to discuss with your spouse and family. Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5...

Does social distancing translate to a greater use of pornography? I don’t know but many people do ask me if pornography is a contributing cause to the demise of relationships? This is an extremely controversial topic and always will be. As a relationship therapist, I journey with clients without judgment and respect their opinions and values. This episode refers to the most recent statistics from...

"I haven't spoken to the mother-in-law for six months now ... apparently, it's rude to interrupt.” chuckled one of my clients recently. The focus is mothers-in-law as we contemplate Mother’s Day on 10 May in case you need to prepare! Not just the outlaws but extended family and friends, too and  I’m quite sure there are a few relieved people that have found social distancing quite beneficial?...

Australians in many states can enjoy a glorious winter but we may still withdraw a little from the chill, find it harder to exercise and feel more irritable. Our lips get dry and cracked and so can our relationships. You may have started the year with the intention to give your relationship another big shot and rekindle the connection, then found it further strained throughout social iso...

It is so normal for intimacy levels to wax and wane throughout life’s challenges that involve lack of sleep throughout parenting, illness, stress and uncertainty during a pandemic. Enjoy the more specific how to's when overcoming a lack of intimacy in your relationship. What can you do to rebuild intimacy? It is essential to evaluate your individual approaches through neuroplasticity in harnessing...

It is a wonderful gift to navigate an uncertain world knowing someone “has our back” despite our flaws, failings and mistakes. We fare much better when we share the load of life’s challenges with a significant other. Healthy intimacy was beautifully described by one of my mentors as being “naked to the soul”. It is a realisation of our inherent design to submit with vulnerability to enjo...

“Why did she go to great lengths to lie to me for so long?” “How do I know my husband’s deceit  won’t hurt me againt?” “I just don’t trust her.” “How could he  not have considered the horrific consequences?” “Do leopards change their spots?” …. All valid and heart wrenching questions when trust is broken. Trust is an essential element of a relationship. When this is compromised, it can have a deva...